I should let you in on a little backstory....i am socially inept for lack of a better word.
For the last 26 years, i have been fearing and running away from what i should be embracing....relationships and social interaction.
All my life i have been the brunt of jokes, and critisizm, things of that nature, to the point that i have become so isolated within myself that i
truly believe that i am destined to die alone. I feel nothing at most times..even when i should feel bad, i feel cold.
This is my problem.......
In any given time, i am more fearful and overthink every interaction with a woman.....and it only makes me look like more of a fool. A friend of mine
helped me out a few years ago when he told me some very important words..
" em, what are they gonna do, say no?"
That really hit a core within me to try to be different than society has molded me to be.
I am finding it easier to talk to women at random, even hot ones!
My problem in there lies......
I fall flat when it comes to watching for "the signals"
From a woman's perspective, what things will she do to signal that she is into me? i'm sorry i'm completely illiterate on this.....friends have
made situations known to me after the fact that i could not see right in front of my face.
I was staying with a friend when i moved from washington to cali........well, since we worked mostly different shifts, i saw him on weekends, and most
of the week during the day...but at night, i mostly hung out with his sister...she lived there too. Now as weird as it sounds, he didn't have a
problem with me spending time with his sister, he's like my bro anyway..Eventually, there was tension, we were always hangin out, and the lot...they
spent some time in germany, and she was trying to teach me some german....when she blatantly spelled out, i want you to kiss me right now...
i froze.....like a jerk i played an idiot and said i didn't understand what she wrote...and it was left at that..i was soo scared....why?
second.....i was giving her a ride in my pickup, and she scooted over and put her arm around me and got real close...after a while, she moved back
over to the other side of the truck....to this day, i still feel like a jerk for not doing anything. why was i so afraid of this girl? there was
nothing wrong with her...i thought she was very cute...and we would have clicked great...but i was freaked.
It amazes me and irritates me to no end that i can't see the signs that a woman is interested in me right in front of my face.:bnghd:
Plz help me on this one...I know i'm a good guy, and i guess im attractive..like i really stare at myself in the mirror....
I am really lost here....I have made so many changes in my life and i have been alone for so long that i really want things to change. and only i am
able to change it....mrs. perfect isn't gonna fall into my lap.
of course, guy's experience and perspective is welcome here as well, i can use all the help i can get..
trust me guys....for those of you who think that being alone for a long time is better than being in a relationship....think again. you may have
money....but that's all i've got.
mod edit: do not circumvent the censors
[edit on 1-1-2006 by sanctum]