Originally posted by shadow watcher
Hello, I am pretty laid back most of the time, but if I see someone yapping on a cell phone, I get enraged. I just want to beat them over the head
with their phone.
It used to be just seeing soccer moms in their escalades yapping away in a 2 1/2 ton death machine was enough to get my blood to boil. Now it is
anywhere, be it a store, a restaurant, or some tool walking down the street, I see it and Im pissed.
What is so danged important? Are they so lonely that they need attention? I mean come on, cram it up yer butt and live your life already.
I really want to buy one of those scramblers and fry any phone in a 30 meter perimeter of me. Evil evil evil invention. I am also fed up with the
lame excuse...what if I break down somewhere? I may have broken down once in ten years. Even then one can find a phone pretty much anywhere.
Perhaps I am too harsh, but I am feeling invaded and I fear I may lash out soon. Go away phones
I just want to say that I'm in 110% agreement with you! (I guess that extra 10 comes from your post being 7 or so years old and I'm guessing it's
gotten a whole lot worse since then!).
I don't own a cell phone. I don't own a smart phone. I don't own a laptop. I don't own any such wireless communication #box. Maybe I've matured
since the 1980s, maybe I've grown up. I certainly no longer need the "latest and greatest" toys on the market anymore. Advertisers are ramming
these things down peoples' throats Everywhere, and they are constantly becoming fancier, more expensive, and instantly outdated. I don't want to
become another pawn of these Capitalist money-grabbers. I have never followed fads. In the 80's I never even owned a Nintendo. In the 70's I never
owned a Pet Rock. Get it? Today, these phones (smart or otherwise) are being employed as status symbols, flashed around everywhere you go. They are
badges of honor. The bottom line though is that They're Not Necessary. In addition to this, they can be Dangerous.
I Don't Need A Portable Phone! They've become signs of our elitist generation of yuppies who Need to be in Constant Communication with somebody.
When I was a kid, these people were called Chatterboxes and were frequently made fun of. Guess what, today it is the Norm among Americans. I don't
want to become like them. Nor do I even understand how people can constantly yap away all the time, talking about absolutely mundane bull#, hour after
hour, day after day. Rude, self-centered, dickheads. Each one can take their cell and go to hell. I certainly have better things to do with my time,
like sit back and read a good book (a Real book of paper pages!), feed my squirrels, or simply enjoy a good meal. It's convenient, they say, not
having to go to a pay phone. Convenience? My favorite retalitory counter-example to this is if I were to invent something we'll call a cell buttbelt.
I've just had a good meal, so let's do something with it... Let's say the buttbelt is a contrivance you'd wear below your waist that wraps around
your ass and penis (and indeed encloses them) so you'd need not be Inconvenienced by having to seek out rest rooms when you need to excrete. Instead
the cell buttbelt absorbs your solid and liquid waste materials whenever and wherever you are, allowing you to eat and excrete conveniently at the
same time. Other manufactuers will come out with their own, of different styles and designs, different colors, and users will be encouraged to
download unique "flush tunes," as well as a myriad of liquid solutions they can plug into it to dissipate smells and so on. Some manufactuers will
take the next step and feature built-in anal washing mechanics, while a more expensive "for adults only" model will take extra good care of the
frontpiece with an auto masturbation feature for men. Another add-on transforms it into a talking toilet, telling you when to replace a filter and add
fluids, with a variety of different voice cartridges to choose from; so one sounds like Darth Vader, another a Teletubbie, another Sandra Bullock etc.
So now you have all these people running around farting and dumping in themselves, some looking unusually happy, and showing off their cute
logo-emblazed ass plates and what have you. Instead of yap-yap-yap you'll be hearing fart-fart-fart whever you go--no, make that in Conjunction with
yap-yap-yap since it Frees them up to do all the more verbal and anal excreting Simultaneously. I don't find either cell or ass gizmo to be
acceptable in public, regardless of the "convenience" it may allow.
The Attitude of these people disgusts me! Yap-yap-yap. Another phone rings ("rings" being used loosely, as each one has its own ring tone which is
more obnoxious than the previous). Yap-yap-yap. "Oh, I'm here in front of this building. There's cars moving over there. I can see the sun." Yeah,
and I hope your brain gets slow-cooked by the nearest microwave mast, Airhead, so we don't have to hear any more of these idiotic observations and
pointless drivel. They do it all day long, talking, taking calls, making calls. Some walk around in circles outside for no damned reason but to Talk
Talk Talk like zombies. In a diner while they're ordering their meal and while they're eating it, they're talking into the things. In the
supermarket as they pay for their gorceries and while they're shopping, they're talking into the things. While they walk to and from their mail
boxes, they're talking into the things. I often wonder what would happen if someone tried to take away their yapboxes--would they go nutso on me or
just drop dead as though someone pulled the plug on their life support system, or cut the strings on a puppet? Because they certainly act as though
they can't live without these toys. I pray for a nice solar flare to fry telecom satellites so their phones become useless. Even that probably won't
stop 'em, but it might motive their brains to start working. While they walk, while they drive (it's supposed to be illegal but I never see anyone
getting stopped for it--because the police do it and their families and friends do it so therefore it's Okay to do it! Can't have Officer Bill pull
over the wife's or kid's best friend and give her a ticket, right?), while they eat, while they # (I can hear them talking in the other stalls while
I do my own quiet excreting!)... Maybe while they shower, too? I dunno... It's just as bad for those pocket computers and other electronic
wastes-of-money-and-time. 'Smart' phones or whatever you call the next step up are just as bad if not worse. I don't understand this "texting"
phenomena nor Why people Must type these little idiotic messages to their friends Wherever they are and Whenever they are. I've seen the so-called
keyboards and they're a game in themselves to operate. I can only type on a full-sized computer keyboard, and having been doing so for decades can
type close to 100 words per minute when properly positioned on a good day. Yet I have nothing to say which would keep me tied to it. But "typing" on
these ditzy little hand-held pieces of crap with two hands at a time is a joke (or is it one finger in one hand?), and millions of people apparently
do this all the time--while operating machinery, while driving, while walking, while talking. I wonder how many people clean loaded guns while
carrying on other tasks at the same time, maybe "texting" as well. Do bus drivers do it, too? Do pilots, while they land commercial airplanes? Is
this the future of Mankind? Could this be the dawn of the End of Mankind?
What would make a funny skit would be to have a masked man armed with a gun and a can raid a yuppie hangout like Starbucks. "Everyone, throw your
phones in the bucket!" He goes around and they all surrender their yap-boxes. The bucket contains gasoline. After the last one surrenders, he throws
a match into the bucket. Oh, to see the Faces of those poor Yuppie Airheads as their precious toys go up in flames! That's what they are: toys. Give
a new toy to a baby and the baby will keep playing with it constantly and carry it around and play-play-play while eating, while sleeping, while
crapping. Adults are behaving in the exact same way except they're too stupid to see it, or boldly hold the title of Adult to justify doing it.
Except Adults take it to a new level because they have Adult work to do and are Playing with their toys while doing it. It's dangerous. Grow the hell
Yeah, I have a tiny little old (wired) MP3 player. It costs me like $10. I play some old MP3 music files while I blow the leaves outside for an hour
or so every other weekend in the Fall. That is the entire extent of my "personal" electronic ventures outside the house, and for me it's not going
to get any worse. Cars now have these GPS things, DVD players, and lots of other crap to send their retail prices skyhigh and make more profits for
the dealers. It's a wonder there aren't more accidents on the road or anywhere else. Operating a vehicle while using one of these toys Should Be
Illegal. Women drivers are bad enough using their rearview mirrors to put lipstick on while driving. Now they're juggling lipstick, a cell phone, a
water bottle (See my article on Bottled Water), and perhaps watching their GPS, DVD video, and chewing gum all at the same time. There are crashes and
fatalities, and many of them go beyond simply being drunk or on crack. Is news of Paris Hilton's current status worth peoples' lives? People always
have to be Doing Something these days. They don't want peace and quiet. They don't want time alone to Think. Perhaps they no longer can Think for
People who buy these things change, too. They almost seem to structure their lives around the little boxes. Something like an addiction perhaps. They
want to make and receive more and more calls. They also become Perpetually Available to those who know their cell phone number. Imagine being
constantly interrupted any time of hte day. Breaking your concentration and chain of thought. In a way, they have become slaves to technology. I had
enough trouble adapting to being paged as Mr. Dave's assistant at Digi Matex all those years ago. I wonder what it must be like having to live with
that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Anywhere. How do people get things done with all this petty chatter?
Had these nasty things been invented centuries earlier, I couldn't imagine writers like Shakespeare ever putting anything down in pen. They survived
without them as shall I.
Then you can throw in the other fun "toys" like web-surfing pads and it's like going back to the 80's watching 8 year olds constantly getting off
on Nintendo or Gameboy pocket games. Considering how everything these days is aimed at pleasing children (or, should I say, child-like adults?), This
need for instant gratification is associated with newborn babies, not mature adults who have full-time jobs to support their families. Today's
people--perhaps I should say Today's Americans since that's one of my perspective limitations--need everything Right Here, Right Now, This Very
Moment. And if they don't get it, they'll have a tantrum. Not having an adult to counsel them, this could take the form of "road rage" should the
situation's characteristics be right. Patience is no longer a virtue--It's a waste of time! Instant gratification leads to speeding. Nothing in this
world is fast enough. Every new thing on the market has to be Faster than before. Cars are Never fast enough either.
I take my driving seriously and do not exceed the speed limit. Mr. Spock would probably say "data acquisition and control is inversely proportional
to velocity"--as the faster one goes the more one misses in the scenery (such as public domain roadside dumpings) and the less control one has over
breaking and steering. I piss other drivers off because I travel 25 MPH in a 25 MPH zone, and at times they drive around me, despite crossing double
lines into the opposite lane risking collision with oncoming traffic, which is a driving violation. Just cruising down a main road and stopping to
turn off into a side road is enough to irritate these people. I can almost feel the tension pouring from the car behind me for the 5 seconds it has to
wait for me to turn; the 5 seconds he has to make up for by accelerating to a fast pace the moment I complete that turn and he's "free" of the
obstacle. Were I to make it 10 seconds, I'd have gotten the horn and quite probably the middle finger. Are those few seconds of their lives so
terribly precious? I remember one car cutting around me, then another one who figured I was dragging it below the speed limit, and then another one
since sheep follow sheep. Lyndon's not Fast Enough for Them. They never got ticketed of course. I assume there's an unwritten rule about the local
town police Not stopping friends and family (maybe they have a database of "friendly" license plate numbers?). Here's a strange instance not
involving myself but indicative of the modern American mentality: My cousin, minding his own business sitting in his car parked on the side of the
road by his house with his shirt off (presumably on a hot summer day), waves to some passing school girls walking by--and the girls call the police
with their (you guessed it) cell phones to check out "the naked man in the car!"... That'll get you ticketed or at least noticed by the police. But
I'm digressing again! Anyway, to get back on topic, I can't lay the blame entirely upon cell phones and related wireless gizmos. These are simply
contributors, for the real culprit is our rapid technological society and the indicators are everywhere, be they drive-thrus (as opposed to people
actually sitting down at a table to eat a meal), to obsessively scanning the Internet for quick answers and solutions. Today's assholes don't even
want to start new jobs at a low wage and gradually work their way up in companies--They expect high pay, promotions...and they want it NOW. Grownups
have been regressed to their childhood, except They don't have adults to tell Them when enough is enough, time to stop playing, come inside, and face
reality. Or perhaps I have it wrong: grownups of this generation haven't regressed--they simply never matured to full adulthood at all. In place of
getting the latest video game for their Nintendo, they need to get the latest app(lication) for their smartphone. Reality is a common theme you will
read about throughout these pages of mine. My Life is fixated upon Reality, as I like to believe it to be at least. I don't smoke, drink, or take
drugs. I want to face the harsh reality of Life sober--"warts and all" as they say. In my opinion, cell phone users are starting to drop out of the
real world. Just listen to the conversations going on. Many concern the fantasy world of television or the lives of Hollywood's airhead whore
generation. Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Knox, Britney Spears... WHY DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE? Yet they
idolize these people!?! Answer: they look Good, and Image is more important than Substance in America. See, if you get enough money, you can grow up
to become Just Like Them. Money bestows instant gratification. Both Paris and Kim were born in very rich families. The former had the whole Hilton
hotel chain, the latter the daughter of O.J. Simpson's overpaid lawyer. Apparently this wasn't enough to establish Images for Themselves. Paris
Hilton made a sleazy sex tape sucking her boyfriend's dick, which she conveniently "leaked" onto the Internet. She was an overnight sensation from
there on out. Kim Kardashian emulated Paris--Her sex tape was higher-resolution, featured background music, and had Kim sucking a Black guy's dick.
Bigger is Better, right? Now Kim Kardashian is even More famous than Paris and a true American Celebrity. In my eyes, they're nothing less than
whores--even more so since they were Born with money. Don't you wish you could be like these girls? But again I digress... Facebook, Twitter (surely
for Twits!), Craig's List, Google, Yahoo, Dicky's Party Room, The Rock/Zone... Airheaded vanity e-resources. At least Google and Yahoo are search
engines for general usage. Then there's the "hidden" features of using these things, such as how users can be tracked and simply triangulated upon.
The police do it and even some shopping malls. Nobody realizes this. It's great for murderers, as the cops have wisely tracked down several, but
should everyone be treated like potential murderers? You'd might as well be microchipped. Maybe my favorite conspiracy nut, David Icke, was
Ultimately I prefer to communicate with a living human being right in front of me rather than over a phone, wired or cell makes no difference to me.
It's far more direct and precise, down to body language and syntax nuances. Besides, I get precious little human communication these days just trying
to get through to people on my home phone. Everything is automated. Press this, press that, leave a message... It's a miracle that dying people can
even call an ambulance without having to proceed through a hierarchy of call options both on their precious cell phones and on the other end.