Americans Now support Interacial Dating

Originally posted by deafence#
in my humble opinion, real love seeps through such insubstantial boudaries like colour or race. your arguement is true in some cases crusader, but even that situation proves that something draws different people together, for different reasons even.

would you then break it down into subcategories for preference? should red sox fans only date with other red sox fans? no, because that's a ridiculous concept.

sometimes it just happens, and if it works it works, if it doesnt it doesnt. as you know, this is life.

def.out

ps: the most common and important background we all share is that we are all HUMAN.

Not that I'm a religious person, NOR do I want to drag religion into this conversation, but.....

Amen to that

Originally posted by crusader
Well here's my two cents here. There will be a ton of trouble waiting for those who marry outside there race... Before you dismiss me, listen to this:

This is a true story, and it happens too often, for us to ignore,ther's a guy I know, who apparently had a relationship,with a white woman. He couldn't communicate on a whole with her, the culture was diffrent, she couldn't understand the phrases and terms we use, and everytime he had to explain it to her, and it was really frustrating. to cut a long story short, he had to end the relationship, for it was really demanding...... He ended up running back to a black woman.

so you see you need to share a similar background and culture for the relationship to work

While I am not discounting your friend's story, I really don't agree with much here. I have never had a "ton of trouble" dating anyone outside of my race. The only problems I have ever had have been the typical guy/girl stuff.

I have a few friends who wound up marrying people from much more different cultures than just the american black/white thing. And when there were communication/culture problems .....they made the effort to learn to overcome those things because they care about each other.

When you care about someone, you make the effort to learn. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

To make it even more cultural...... Are you saying that an american black and an african black should not date because of culture differences? Or a white american and a white european should not date because of cultural differences?

All cultures use different terms in this world...... but they all pretty much mean and explain the same sh*t. You just have to spend a little time and effort to understand them.

I am a professional musician and work quite a bit in the black community and have never had a problem with the "phrases and terms we use" (as you put it) If your friend and his girl had that much trouble understanding each other on such a basic level, then it sounds like the relationship was doomed to begin with, regardless of backround. If you can't even relate to someone from your own country, then you have some serious basic communication problems. Then again, they both might have just been incompatable to begin with.... and that definitely trumps race, creed...etc etc.

Well, believing that you will not run into problems, is being naieve. To sum it all up, I will not date certain races , well that is one of my main reasons.. As i stressed earlier on, Dating is a conscious choice. So IF (a Big IF) which i will never do! I decide to go and approach, a white girl, i know it's a conscious choice, i deliberately choose to go and break the barrier... Which I don't want, to for several reasons historically, genetically, socially, preferences, attractiveness, etc. So there goes the argument of you cannot choose who you fall in love with..

Originally posted by crusader
Well, believing that you will not run into problems, is being naieve. To sum it all up, I will not date certain races , well that is one of my main reasons.. As i stressed earlier on, Dating is a conscious choice. So IF (a Big IF) which i will never do! I decide to go and approach, a white girl, i know it's a conscious choice, i deliberately choose to go and break the barrier... Which I don't want, to for several reasons historically, genetically, socially, preferences, attractiveness, etc. So there goes the argument of you cannot choose who you fall in love with..

The problem is that you see a 'barrier' where there shouldn't be one - I thought NOT seeing "the barrier" was the way we're supposed to get over all this racism and bigotry and hatred for people that are different -

As long as there are people like you out there that deliberately choose to point out all the "differences" between people that are not exact clones of each other, and insist that people keep away from others that are not carbon copies of themselves, there is no hope for any kind of peace, tolerance or understanding.

Quit looking at the world through your 'barrier goggles' and you might see that being different is not such a bad thing.

No one is saying that you MUST do anything you don't want to, but you have to acknowledge that insisting others do what you want them to is going to get you nowhere. And looking at the big picture, attitudes like your's will NEVER help to advance the human race.

Originally posted by crusader
Well, believing that you will not run into problems, is being naieve.

Do you mean culture or skin colour? Some blacks and whites share the same culture so there shouldn't be any problems aside from the standard relationship crap.

So there goes the argument of you cannot choose who you fall in love with..

Not really. The relationships I've been in didn't start from dating.. they just happened. There are many things I'd like potential patners to NOT be [eg drug lord] but that doesn't include skin colour. Even if I agreed with you on princible.. this 'logic' would go [has gone] straight out the window if I found myself sexually attracted to a different race.

Originally posted by crusader
Well, believing that you will not run into problems, is being naieve. To sum it all up, I will not date certain races , well that is one of my main reasons.. As i stressed earlier on, Dating is a conscious choice. So IF (a Big IF) which i will never do! I decide to go and approach, a white girl, i know it's a conscious choice, i deliberately choose to go and break the barrier... Which I don't want, to for several reasons historically, genetically, socially, preferences, attractiveness, etc. So there goes the argument of you cannot choose who you fall in love with..

I never said that I believed that I would never run into problems.

You did.

I said that I have never had any major problems.

The only barrier you are breaking is the one in your mind. Though that being said, the possible repercussions of breaking the social barriers in the US varies from region to region. I would be a hell of a lot more careful walking down the street with a woman of color in Texas or Arkansas than I am here in Los Angeles.

I stressed that dating ANYONE is a conscious choice. You make the choice to approach someone and to get to know them. I understand that you prefer black women. That is fine. I have no problem with anyone dating anyone. But I prefer one kind of woman, the kind I am attracted to..... Beautiful ones. I am not going to let social rules or opinions dictate my personal life.

As I stated earlier, you can choose who you date. You can't choose who you fall in love with. As I also stated earlier, if you are avoiding dating someone because of their heritage in order to avoid the possibility of falling in love with them, then I understand your logic.

But as I have said, I am speaking from my own personal experience. I am currently dating a black woman and I really don't think it is going to much farther than casual dating/casual sex. Because of the color thing you ask? No, because I have been out with this woman quite a few times and I am not falling in love with her. It is not going to happen. She is a great girl, but I can't force myself to love someone if I don't. We both made a conscious choice to spend time with each other and get to know each other. But you can't choose to develope feelings that are not there or are not developing.

People sometimes giving disapproving looks when I have been out with women different from my own ethnicity is about as bad as it has gotten for me. Occasionally someone makes a comment. But I can deal with that.......

Boy, do I have an EXPERTISE on this topic! I am not only a genetically-race-changed woman, but I am also an "abductee" as well!
First, interracial dating and marriage has been happening all over the USA (and the world) for a LOOOOooong time. I am 69 yrs. old, and my GRANDMOTHER was the product of an interracial love. One can't close the barn door, after the horse is OUT!
Second, if you can't handle interracial dating/marriage, what about romance with ETs? Star Trek will soon come to pass, if it hasn't already.
(Spock...half-human)
Third: I am genetically changed as to RACE. If people can have race change, how can anyone know who is really "what"?
I rest my case. You can't dislike something if you can't IDENTIFY IT!
The ETs did me a favor. In fact, they changed me back and forth several times, between Black and White. This is NOT a disease, not cosmetic surgery and not a sun-tan (or absence of a tan). It is not any medication that I took, either.
A lot of people thought my husband and I were an interracial couple. We weren't. I am "BLack" too. I just don't LOOK it anymore.
Get used to it. The barn door is WIDE OPEN now, and ALL THE HORSES ARE OUT! Who knows? I might find out that I am also half-alien/half human, too.

what rubbish? Now we digressed from interacial dating, to interspecies dating with aliens.? Oh yea, interacial dating has been around for ages, i agree.. but ok this may sound controversial... But I am really stressing rite now especially on the black man =white woman, etc dating thing.. Not only i do not like it... i think the majority of all of these relationships are not based on love at all. And I am admonishing my brothers to stop doing that.

I have only to say....that if one asks me to change my style of clothes, I can do that. If I am asked to change my behavior, I can do that, too. If you ask me to change my COLOR (race or species), you'll have to ask God about that.
The only reason I brought up the ETs, is because this BBS (bulletin board service) has so much about UFOs, and space, etc. ...and it fits my case.
It also gets us READY for the next step, which MIGHT be.."Cosmic Civil Rights".
Think back to a movie and TV series called "ALIEN NATION".
Remember how the Newcomers were treated?
My grandmother called us African-Americans "the Rainbow race", because we come in so many colors. Of course, she didn't know that ETs had messed around in our family tree. I didn't find that out myself until I retired.
The thing that makes my case different is that I have been BOTH...Black AND White...several times....in one lifetime! People don't normally change back and forth like a chameleon, but I DID. (That is what my doctor said.)
I have a unique perspective that probably few people on Earth have!
Keep your preferences, but also keep a partially-open mind. You'll need it.
My website is
MINDBOGGLER
members.tripod.com...

HAHAHA!!!

Honestly crusader your posts are probably the most paranoid baseless arguments I have ever read, EVER! You sound like you just passed 18th century biology class.

Crusader, you're views are deeply flawed for several reasons.

1. Race is defined by genetic similarity. Genetic similarity stems from distant genetic relationship. For example, a recent study has suggested that a mutation in a single individual may be responsible for the introduction of white skin to humanity. If this is correct, all white people are extremely distant relatives. It is likely that most races have a common "bottleneck" at which most of the individuals if not all within the race share common ancestors. Therefore preference for one's own race is basically a very mild incest fetish.

2. Dilluting racial "purity" (as if there were such a thing as genetic purity) does not create a dearth of one's "people". Your example of your friend who couldn't communicate with a white girl is a perfect example. That was a cultural incompatibility, not a racial one.

You are probably aware that there is more than one African race, but I bet that when you meet another African-American, you don't try to figure out (and I doubt you could) whether their ancestory is Khoisan, Tigrayan, Tuareg, or whatever. For that matter I'd lay a fair wager than 10 minutes ago if I'd just written the word Tuareg for you, you would have thought that I was talking about a Volkswagen (Touareg)

The fact of that matter is that your people are people who come from the same upbringing as you, have the same values as you, act as you do, etc. Your people are those who share your culture. So, what is your primary language, what sort of dialect or slang do you use, how do you dress, what music do you listen to, what is your religion, where geographically do you live, etc- those are good dimensions for defining "your people".

The fact that many of your people share your skin color is coincidental. The borders of nations were set primarily by tribal distribution at a very early age, they began to shift with wars and economic developments leading to the development of new broader races.

Good luck finding "Angle" "Saxon" or "Jute" as an option for the ethnicity question in the census- even if a person were to forego the "white" option and self-identify, he wouldn't put one of those. They all became English centuries ago, even if their ancestors weren't necessarily Angles, and if you give it enough time, there will be no more English, Scotts, or Irish- just Britons.

The shifting will continue to increase in speed because our enhanced ability to travel, communicate, and advance ourselves in society is leading to a higher assimilation rate between cultures.
A Cajun kid joins the army, gets stationed at Bragg and hangs out with some of the black soldiers, then gets out of the army and moves to Boston to get a job- in 4 years you can have a guy with French lineage who was born into Cajun culture speaking and acting very much like an African-American and then have him mixing in with a bunch of Irish in Boston and exchanging culture with them too.
The time it theoretically could take to have grits in every restraunt in New England could be checked with a stop-watch if the right series of events were to occur.

In short, the whole "your people" line is rubbish. People are what they are, not what they look like. My black friend Larry is probably a lot more like me than like you. My Japanese friend Ed is a bit of a redneck. If you talked to my Cambodian friend Eno without being able to see him, you'd probably assume he was black. Granted that I'm from Southern California and we've sort of got our own little world going over here, but that's what makes it such a great example. You take a middle class white guy and put him in a tweaker's slum, you take an Asian guy and put him in the ghetto, you put a black guy into a nice upper-middle class resort town, etc- you get all kinds of wierd stuff. Just so happens that in my area you've got ghettos and barios and white-trash tweakerville and golf resorts all within 20-40 minutes drive of one another, so I've got a first class view of such things.


When you get right down to it Crusader, you're just like any other racist. You're no different from any Klansman. You are afraid to be alone, you are afraid of other people, and you have a pathological need to divide people into groups and rationalize who is with you, who you have to measure yourself against, who you can just ignore, etc. You decieve yourself with a bunch of racist nonsense because it's so much easier than developing a strong sense of self.
Everyone has prejudices; it is a result of a human learning device whereby we group things by appearance and function. Not everyone lets the weakness of their impulses dominate them however. Some of us process those impulses, understand what it means, and adjust our attitude and behavior accordingly. Sometimes we fail, but very rarely do decent people embrace such nonsense wholeheartedly, and even those who do usually have enough sense to know that they're wrong and keep their traps shut about it for pride's sake.