You might be a redneck....

Feel free to add any more here.

You might be a redneck if--

--Less than half the cars you own actually run

--You find that after emptying the beer cans out of your car you get 15 more miles to the gallon

--After mowing your lawn you find a car or two

--You've ever BBQ'd Spam on the grill

--Your e-mail address reads something like [email protected]

--When asked for your ID you show your belt buckle

--You wear a tube top to a wedding

--You've ever driven a Camaro up a tree

--You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley

--You don't hem up your pants; you prefer to walk the hems off

--You tape pro wrestling while at work

--You can bring your dog to work

--Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"

--You need a 4X4 to get to your house

--You go to a soap box derby and don't need a program

--You have a stuffed 'possum mounted anywhere in your home

--Your bicycle has a gun rack

--You have at least two relatives named Bubba or Junior

--You pawn your grandfather's antique watch for beer money

You might be a redneck if

you wear a hat that has camo and/or a car logo on it.

your truck has more than 12 forward lights on it.

you could eat a floppy disk, but not use it.

you own a tie that features nudes and/or camo.

you rush home for nascar.

you think its ok for the dog to have fleas, because you have them too.

lol!!!! u people here have some funny jokes!!! i know some rednecks....mwoohahahaa they'll laugh at this! lol

1. you've ever drank a beer during a job interview.

2. A midnight trip to the bathroom at your house involves shoes and a flashlight.

3. You have a refrigerator or washing machine on your porch, and it's plugged in.

4. There are curtains in your home made from either a rebel flag, or a child's Star Wars bedsheets.

5. You have a sofa on your porch. You are definitely a redneck if the sofa has no legs because one broke so you sawed the rest of 'em off. Even your neighbors are rednecks if said sofa is now perched up on cinderblocks, so it will be the right height again.

6. You smoked during your own wedding.

7. . . . In the summertime, you lock your car-doors at church, so someone doesn't leave you a bag of squash or 'maters in the back seat.

8. . . . If you are called to testify as a witness, and the police don't have a book of mugshots. Instead, they just use old High School yearbooks. (I actually worked a case in that town, once. I wrote this one myself.)

9. If you or one of your neighbors has a homemade billboard that advertizes Beanie Babies, Watermelons, or Gun Repair.

10. If you are related to your in-laws by more than one family connection. (In other words, your family tree doesn't fork.)

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see i used to live in arkansas....yeah most of these things r true....lol!!!

Here are some more:

--If, at your wedding, while kissing your bride, your John Deere hat fell off

--If your female relative's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan

--If your father walks you to school because you're in the same grade

lol! also if it sounds like ur hiccuping when u r actually laughing ...lol

You know you are a redneck if...

--You dress up to go to a Shoney's

--Your house has tailights

--You are proud of the soil stains on your nascar cap

--You own a nascar cap

--The fire department shows up at your trailer because they thought all the stuff in your yard was because something must have exploded

--You have two first names

When we have an ATS Convention, there will be a list of people I plan on slapping with my motor oil-stained Ford Racing NASCAR cap. Guess who all has now been placed on that list.

Your good TV is on top of the bad tv....

here's some----

~ You taught your child to count by using NASCAR car numbers (01= Joe Nemecheck, 2= Rusty Wallace, 3+ Dale Earnhardt, etc...)

~ You have a child named after a car manufacturer (like Harley)

~ You have as many dogs as you do children

~ You bought your pickup using your children's savings

~ Their savings were buried in the back yard in jars

~ It only took 2 jars to buy the pickup

:w:

Is being a red neck bad?

Honestly, in school I was voted the most want-to-be a redneck, I guess I have achieved it.

Here is the score based on inputs so far:

--Less than half the cars you own actually run (2002 f350-yes, 95 escort-mostly, 87 samurai-occasionally, 4 pre 80s bugs- nope, 4 dirt bikes- only 1 sometimes)
--After mowing your lawn you find a car or two (or 4! the bugs)
--You've ever BBQ'd Spam on the grill (not too bad-since off the beef-due to mad cow)
--Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road" (self explanatory)
--You need a 4X4 to get to your house (depends on the weather)
--You have a refrigerator or washing machine on your porch, and it's plugged in (it's a keg-o-rator honest!)
--If you are related to your in-laws by more than one family connection. (dads cousin married moms brother)

Some more for you:

--You have ceiling fans on your porch. (We have 4 - nice while sipping the beer)
--you have firearms in more than 2 rooms in your house
--you have more camo clothes than polo shirts
--you don't own a polo shirt
--your wife has to climb UP to get into any vehicles
--your kids have used a garbage bag with a hole for their head as a rain coat
--you frequently shoot stuff in your back yard- including dinner (all except dinner so far)

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
When we have an ATS Convention, there will be a list of people I plan on slapping with my motor oil-stained Ford Racing NASCAR cap. Guess who all has now been placed on that list.

Uh oh! I am in trouble now! Mr. Crown I didnt mean your oil stained nascar cap! Yours is cool! lol

Most of my friends are rednecks, the best times I have ever had are with my redneck buds. You want fun? Go to a bonfire with some good ole boys! The hangover though can be pretty bad, and the guilt for what you did? *shudders*



[edit on 8-11-2005 by LoneGunMan]

lol.....wht r u doing at these "bonfires"??? lol jkjk u dont have to answer tht one lol:w:

Originally posted by dgtempe
Your good TV is on top of the bad tv....

LOL the one i was planning on using... Also

If new hubcaps are considered a home improvement

If you have been married more then 3 times... And still have the same in Laws... You might be a redneck :shk:

lol tht ones a little werid ...

Good Foxworthy story; If this applies to you, Its not that you might be a redneck, You are the definition of redneck.

Down in Georgia, We had a Peeing for distance contest, Which I am ashamed to say myt Aunt Joan won... In the second round. -Jeff Foxworthy

Also, If you have ever been disqualified from a Farting contest for pushing too hard and sh*tt*ng your pants.

Yeah, your a redneck alright !

lol second round!!! LOL ROFLLMBO

If you have ever had the local fire department called out to a keg party! That actually happen just down the road from me over the summer, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'!
If your wife yells, "Come and move dis tranmission so I can take a bath!"
If your fire department has a beer party up in the back of the hollow after they have ran a tractor-trailer crash.
That actually happened here back about 1987.
You might just be a redneck.