In a bold move Emory University has declared war on Washington University. Following an unprecedented attack on Emory soil on the weekend of September
17 and 18 involving graffiti questioning the attractiveness of native Emorian women and fliers displaying the phrase "Emory S***s", Student
Government Association President Amrit P. Dhir dissolved the student government, declaring himself "Supreme Leader." The president of Wash U has
yet to step up to the declaration of war, and has not yet declared general mobilization of his student military forces.
Emory Student Government Association President Amrit P. Dhir (search), clad in a military uniform, promptly dissolved the elected legislature and
proclaimed himself "Supreme Leader," with the requisite dictatorial powers.
"Emory University was suddenly and deliberately attacked by ground forces from Washington University," Dhir, flanked by black-shirted, helmeted
members of the SGA's Department of War, declared. "In a community where scholarship and peace once existed, we are now faced with a terrifying shadow
Dhir went on to say that Washington U. was "a terrible, terrible place," with "no identity, no integrity and, I am told, terribly unattractive
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What a great idea to inspire school pride in a school known more for its academic ability than its sports ability! Wash U president is being
extremely careless, allowing Emory to fully mobilize their forces without any action on their part. As I'm sure all the history students going to both
schools know, this will be a huge disadvantage to Wash U unless they can find some kind of diplomatic solution.
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