Call the apostrophe police already!

I really don't want to join the Grammar and Punctuation Police (hereby known as GAPP, to differentiate from the clothing company which may or may not be guilty of misusing apostrophes).

But....for the love of all that is good and chocolatey and pure, PLEASE STOP MISUSING THE BLOODY APOSTROPHE!

If a word becomes plural - it does not carry an apostrophe:

If you own more than one hat, you do not have several hat's.
Opinion does not become opinion's, even when you have several.
More than one rant definitely would not give birth to several rant's.
And if there is more than one tinkle, we could certainly not be privy to many tinkle's.

If you see a sign saying "Apple's for sale" - fight back! take out your white-out and remove that offending apostrophe*.

(Unless the sign is referring to Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, in which case you might want to ask the question, "Apple's what is for sale? Shoe? signed copy of Daddy's cd? Diaper bag?")

So please, don't mistreat your apostrophe. Treat it with care, and love. It will serve you for the rest of your life. Remember that your apostrophe only likes (not like's) being used to denote possession, and occasionally when letters are omitted, like I might say "I can't believe this blatant misuse of that poor apostrophe!".

Thank you, and good day!


* alas, I cannot in good conscience condone the vandalization of someone else's property. Even if it is for a good reason. So don't use white-out to deface a sign, because I'll be blamed, and I'm poor. I can't afford the lawsuits.

One other thing. I realise English might not be your first language. You're forgiven. But if you've been using the language since birth..then jolly well stop this abuse!

Does it really matter as long as the individual gets their point across?

What's been written must be comprehensable for you to see it worth correcting so therefore cannot be a problem.

here is an example of real bad grammer..

Does it matter? Hmmm.

In the grand scheme of things? Nope. The world won't end because a few million people are/were too lazy to pay attention to English class.

But on a smaller scale (like on a message board), regular misuse of grammar can actually undermine a post; I'm sure you're aware - it's drummed into us regularly - that it's not just what you say, but how you say it too.

And in a text-based forum that means spelling and grammar are going to be noticed occasionally; a post containing many grammatical errors might indeed suggest that the poster didn't care enough to proof-read his post; this in turn can suggest that the he might also be similarly inclined to forego checking/verifying anything in his post, thus undermining his entire point.

But not always

That said...this is the rant forum, and I know I'm not the only apostrophe-protecting loony here

You're not the only one-- I'm a terrible grammar cop... I'm always fussing about either apostrophes or the well/good switch up... Or spelling... Or double negatives... :bnghd:

My sister's so terrible about speaking incorrectly but has a hissy fit if I correct her... But I can't help it, it's the correct way to speak... "I ain't got none, didn't do no, I don't want to go to no" If I have to hear those one more time... ARGH!!! Is it really all that hard???

Well, if you do not wish to offend the grammar mnkeys any further then I suggest all follow the simple rules..



1. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
2. When dangling, don't use participles.
3. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
4. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
5. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
6. About sentence fragments.
7. Don't use no double negatives.
8. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas
9. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
10. Just between you and I, case is important.
11. Don't abbrev.
12. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
13. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
14. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
15. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
16. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should.
17. Avoid cliches like the plague.
18. begin with a capital and end with a period
19. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. to keep a string of items apart.
22. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
23. Check to see if you any words out.
24. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.

Tinkleflower,

Well said! Do not give up hope, for I am here to join you! We'll fight back against the molestation of the apostrophe!

well, I've learnt something new today. This thread about the correct use of the apostrophe prompted me to wonder why it is used to indicate possession.
Lately , I've had a bit of a mental block when it comes to my apostrophes. I know that they are there to indicate a missing letter or letters, but every time I've gone to type a sentence such as "pantha's grammar isn't up to scratch" , I've been stumped as to whether I should stick an apostrophe in there. I'm afraid there are several posts around in which I haven't.
As I said, I have had a recent mental block over this, and every time I looked at the "pantha's " part of the sentence , I just kept thinking, no, that can't be right, where's the letter that the apostrophe is replacing.
I now have my answer

In Old English the most common ending to show possession (genitive), was to add -es to the root of the word. Here are some examples:

* Beowulfes bearn - Boewulf's (belonging to Beowulf) child
* cyninges wif - the king's wife
* scopes sang - the poet's song

I'm sure you can see how the genitive case has survived in modern English. We no longer use the -es ending to show possession, but we do use the 's ending. The apostrophe replaces the missing letter e!

Not every genitive (possessive) word had an -es ending in Anglo-Saxon, but most did, and so 's became the way to indicate possession.

www.geocities.com...



So I am glad to say that my mental block has now been broken. I can use my apostrophes happy in the knowledge that I am replacing a missing e.
I can't believe that I was having trouble with such basic grammar, and would like to apologise for any other grammatical errors that this post, no doubt, contains. Please be kind and refrain from pointing any out to me and bare in mind that the English o'level that I gained at school is now 19 years old!

Its' always a sore point with many of us. Theres' always a pain to go thru and see these things'.

The Apostrophe Protection Society

You know what else bugs me??? When people use I or Me incorrectly... If it is the object of something (EVEN the object of a preposition), use me... I is a subject word... EX:::

Just between you and ME, people who speak incorrectly should die...

I think that everyone should just learn to speak correctly...



NOTICE:: "English-- You'll be speaking it the rest of your life... You might as well be good at it..."

Alcor,

You do have to make allowances for those who sometimes make mistakes, because English is our second language. Me, I'm the exception...by golly, i spell pretty well considering i wasnt born here

Originally posted by Tinkleflower
If you see a sign saying "Apple's for sale" - fight back! take out your white-out and remove that offending apostrophe*.

The "T" in "take" should have been capitalized...

:shk:

Originally posted by dgtempe
Alcor,

You do have to make allowances for those who sometimes make mistakes, because English is our second language. Me, I'm the exception...by golly, i spell pretty well considering i wasnt born here

Don't take that the wrong way- People who speak English as a second language should be applauded for even considering learning this uber complicated crap... It's the people who have been speaking it their whole lives and still for some reason can't figure out the idea of double negatives and apostrophes... Kudos to you for learning English and doing, as it looks, pretty well!

Originally posted by RANT


The Apostrophe Protection Society

Jeeze...You wo'uld thin'k that at's least a marketing company would have's one indi'vidual who kno's gr'mmer. Those example's were hi'-l'arious!

Tinkleflower


What the hell are talking about ? Get off the slouch and quit reading Strunk & White. I can't spell for crap, but I get my points accros. Read the threads, don't investigate them. Sometimes dopes like myself leave little ' clues ' with the stupidity.



Is this banana cartoon stupid or what ?

Originally posted by BLUBBER
Tinkleflower
What the hell are talking about ? Get off the slouch and quit reading Strunk & White. I can't spell for crap, but I get my points accros. Read the threads, don't investigate them. Sometimes dopes like myself leave little ' clues ' with the stupidity.


Is this banana cartoon stupid or what ?

Aw welcome to "rants", Blubsy!

Now. It's blindingly obvious what I'm talking about. And I have to credit you for clicking "find all posts by user", after clicking on my name. Well done!

Alas, I have to disagree - you don't always get your points across so well. Nobody is perfect - and even I have problems getting a point across from time to time.

But that's a different matter, and it's for a different thread.

That's a cute banana though.

Good on you Tinkleflower, for taking a stand against the abuse of the English language. However, I have to say there are many far more irritating common errors than the misuse of the apostrophe. For example, the use of the pseudo-words "stupider" and "stupidest", where "more stupid" and "most stupid" would be correct. How ironic that so many people see themselves fit to call others stupid when they don't even know what's a real word and what isn't...

And another thing, it's "I couln't care less", not "I could care less"!!! If you don't care about something, why say that you care more than you could?! Morons...

I too would like to add my pet rant for the week. Although I thank you Twinkle for standing up for the apostrophe, grammar's little helper. Occasional misuse of the English language is symbolic of our already low reading/writing time and a by-product of our increased cyber culture.

Constant misuse of the English language is a crime people: a cry for help in an otherwise decent post.

Sometimes (and I'm not joking around now) it is very hard to get the point across because the grammar and misspellings are SO appalling, the reader is left shell shocked and is forced to run away to hide under the couch or to watch television; although that doesn't help either as the English usage is just as bad if not worse on the telly.

Note: most speakers of English as a second or third language are more careful and have better grammar than we do and thus don't have this problem.

Ok, here's my rant -

Their vs. There. Get it right people.

Their: Belonging to someone or something. Such as their hats, their coats, their gloves (you get the picture).

There: Not here nor There. This example of the grammar police is neither here nor there and I will write how I want dammit. See how nicely that sounded even though I said something utterly stupid?

Good grammar not only makes you sound brighter but it makes it easier for people to understand you. If you don't believe me read something by someone who has never heard of a comma, or worse an over-zealous comma user.


But alas, I stray from my point:

Here There

Then there is they're which is a contraction of they are. Use this one only when absolutely necessary and only when you are sure how to do it. In my opinion contractions should not be abused. Use them gently and sparingly.