If I get outta this one

I've been in some pretty tight spots in my time, like with the farmer's daughter. That's not the beginning of a joke, she turned out to be a Werewolf and I was on the menu.

So, you'll understand my caution when I met this nice young lady at the grocery store purely by accident. I was looking at my list, not paying attention and bumped her with my cart. We apologized to each other, both claiming fault for being clumsy, so I offered to make up for it by buying her a coffee.
We met the next day and had a wonderful time and I put her through one of my tests. See, that whole vampires can't come out in the sunlight thing is bunk. They can and do, but some want to keep an air of mystery, so they stick to the myths.
"Air of mystery"... right. More like odor of BS if ya ask me.
I carry a silver spoon and give the excuse that plastic makes the coffee taste weird and offered to let her stir her coffee. She did, so no aversion to silver. That rules out werewolf and vampire.

Fast forward 6 months. Things are getting serious. I have been thinking about asking her to move in, but she has the better house. Out in the country, nice little garden in the back, a cat with a black patch of fur over one eye, so of course she named him Jack Sparrow. Everything just seems so perfect.
The first time I went over for dinner, I checked everything out. No weird sigils on the doors, no strange plants in the garden and the cat was just a cat.
I went over for dinner tonight and after we ate, we watched a movie and then went to bed. As I drifted off with her head on my shoulder, I thought "I think I finally found the one"

So for crying out loud, can someone explain to me why I just woke up strapped to an altar, surrounded by 13 witches and my sweetie with a dagger ?

If I get outta this one I'm swearin' off women for good.

The End.

a reply to: DAVID64

14 witches you say, strapped to something you say, those were always my favorite dinner parties...

a reply to: DAVID64

I enjoyed your Story... you should submit a story in the latest Short Story Contest called "Free Your Imagination".

Johnny

If it were not for bad luck you wouldn't have any luck when it comes to women. Maybe they will just dance in the nude in a circle around you and mumble some stuff you have no idea of the meaning and then release you to partake of 14 pleasurable delights. Let us know how it goes and if you need any help !!