Tess Discovers A New, Warm, Brown Dwarf FYI2023

Tess believed in magic. The bedtime stories she was told by her mother were not fantasy (the new term is “speculative fiction”), but a retelling of a past time where trees talked and fairies flitted about. The brothers were only Grimm in name!

But then hormones happen and breast buds appear and then breasts then a horrific talk about monthly flows of blood and sex… gross!!

But that is what they call “growing up”.

Then, one morning, after a strange dream about a boy, and something sticky… gross!… (best to be ignored)… and a morning walk to clear her mind, Tess found herself in the woods behind her house.

The woods were not scary. There were not wolves ready to kill her grandmother and eat her before a friendly axman could free her from the wolf’s stomach, no lions, tigers, or bears, and very few deer, just bugs, and moss, and damp trees, and wind, when it showed up, but there was a trail that circled around a glen then back towards home that took an hour or so to traverse.

If you were to ask, the answer would be a variation of, “… a million times! Never were there any creatures of an animal nature let alone THAT!!”

Which is as good as it gets when you stumble upon a dwarf, sun tanned, and otherwise dressed like one of those garden gnomes that get stolen from people’s front lawns and have photos sent to the shocked owners of their gnome at Machu Pichu, or a Thailand beach, or with a sombrero on the beach of the Gulf of Mexico.

It moved. It froze. It looked unblinking at Tess before saying, “Hello?”

Tess had to blink. The damn thing was still there!! And the weird silence when a conversation hits an unmarked speed bump…

“Hi??…”, Tess tailed off into more awkwardness.

“My name is, ‘Hedge”,” said the gnome/dwarf creature.

“Hi, Hedge. What are you doing here??”, enquired Tess instead of the normal pleasantries.

“I haven’t been here in a long time and wanted to see what it looked like now”, said the tanned dwarf under his gnome hat.

“Uh,… okay….”, Tess tested the waters with, “Is it different?”, she finally offered.

“Less animals,” said Hedge as he shifted feet.

“Huh,” offered Tess. And the awkward silence returned.

“Well, I have other places I want to visit. It was nice meeting you…” lingered the question from the dwarf.

“Tess”, answered Tess to the strange conversation. “My name is ‘Tess’,” she offered.

The dwarf extended his hand in the shake intention…

Tess extended her hand and shook Hedge’s tanned hand. It was pretty warm, and had some callouses, “Nice meeting you, Hedge”, she offered.

Hedge smiled, shook Tess’ hand heartily, and turned around and left.

Tess stood in the woods. The clearing in-front of her, and Hedge tromping off into the woods behind.

She never told anyone about the warm hand of a wood dwarf she had met while walking through the woods one morning.

-End-

Info: TEOTWAWKIAIFF author, status: Writer.

The whole thing was inspired by the following science headline:

TESS discovers new warm brown dwarf.

And the “free your mind, and your ass will follow” lead me to a ridiculous story about Tess!!

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a reply to: JohnnyAnonymous

As they say in Ukraine, “tanks”!!

originally posted by: TEOTWAWKIAIFF
The whole thing was inspired by the following science headline:

TESS discovers new warm brown dwarf.

And the “free your mind, and your ass will follow” lead me to a ridiculous story about Tess!!

I only clicked on this because it was an intriguingly suggestive title and saw it was you and thought "this might be interesting." It was, ahem.

I must say I'm very glad you shared the above because it was pretty weird otherwise thinking this was your type of fiction with the budding breasts, hormones & warm brown dwarves etc. Some freak porn film might rip the title though.

Somewhere around 2000 I accepted a blog challenge that left me writing a short story about "Hot Robot Monkey Sex" that kind of went viral in certain circles. Even had a few Harvard or Yale students commenting and sharing it. I looked for it a few years ago and couldn't find it but I think I found a few references still.

I probably shouldn't have shared that, but I enjoyed stopping in for your creative story. Good luck!!!

a reply to: The GUT

Many thanks!!

I have a sense of humor that some just don’t get… so when someone can laugh out loud and relate, welp, that gives me warm fuzzy feelings!!

Nice to see you around! There are a few of us I do fret about…

Thanks for sharing!’

As usual well done !

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF
That reminds me of Hanny's Voorweerp. Hahaha!

The discovery... asd.gsfc.nasa.gov...

One inspiration... ideas.ted.com...

a reply to: BeNotAfraid

Funny, but part of my introduction to the whole “world wide web” was a cartoon called “Space Beaver”, which is very appropriate for some weird reason!

I was tickled by the news headline and thought “there is some other thought trying to escape” and I was laughing at the thought that it was literally what was being reported!

Thanks for supporting my askewed sense of humor!!