Anxiety (or: why I am so messed up)

originally posted by: Terpene

let me show you the other side of that coin

You're very enjoyable to listen to, except when religious preaching taint your beautiful expressions...

In person I am fairly good at reading an audience, but when we're in a forum filled with every belief on the spectrum of existence it's impossible to speak the language of each group's bias. Given that there are many Christians here, and I also believe Christ embodied the archetypal Mind, that is my default form of expression on ATS.

and also thank you for the compliment portion of your comment.

a reply to: cooperton

yes, ATS has a huge Christian echo chamber. there could also be an attempt to use non-Christian jargon, but I get it, it's not an echo chamber that can absorb and reason on topics that don't resonate in their narrow world view, so it is quite a feat you do to adapt your vocabulary to reach into a closed system.

Sounds like you are thinking too much...this is just a section of your life.

It may take years, but you are going through it for a reason so you can learn from it.

Hopefully in a few years you can look back.and understand why.

For everybody who cares enough to participate:
Thank you!

Best enjoyed loud


And to paraphrase my riding teacher:
Remember to smile. Life is fun!


And another

Which made me wonder, is it really a rule of the universe that when a personality feels superior they start to see everybody else as disposable tool?

Does sound more like curiosity and being left frustrated without any answers is the cause, rather then anxiety or outright paranoia. Doesn’t sound like you got a tinfoil hat on, an speaking Latin tongues to ward off said phenomenon.

I found that sometimes these things tend to make some sense later, in weird ways. Usually at major turning points in one own life, better or worse. Why most wouldn’t or ever see them, an why some do, no idea. Might be those that don’t, don’t need too, while those that do need a little sugar or spice in their own life. Been there…

a reply to: Proto88

Because, I think, most don't die. It makes you curious when something hints it is talking to you from after death, or as the kidz say: behind the veil.
I would guess some veterans with PTSD got similiar encounters. When you see how fate and luck are not in your hands.
Really understand that for the first time.
I think it's only natural you notice more when scan every face if it's threat or not.
Sure I got that only peripheral, others got it Way worse etc.
But I am a delicate flower so I got only the 'light version' of everything.
There's an attempt to communicate from something that's... weird, but intelligent.
None of it is random or chance.
On the other hand to expect them to solve all our issues is crazy.

I would like very much if we could acknowledge in the realm of spiritual research, the unknown is populated by more than one civilisation , or level of existence, or dimension, or universe, ... It's a #ing zoo out there!

So where I am coming from running around like Kassandra before the end of Troy, gives me right to a magical metaphysical tin-foil-hat and if you can't see that...

a reply to: Peeple

I guess the simple answer would be mortality, we can’t pick the cards we are dealt, but we can play them as we see fit. It always easier giving a pawn then a queen.

I just ended up rather coming to the conclusion that uh…whatever is more like a Psychopomp on a very instinctual level. The even weirder part is, the Nut an Bolt, or Matter(what matter, lol) aspect of it, is quite like it. I find Orange Orbs(colour might not mean anything unless to the beholder maybe)to be more spirit or ether like, while whatever is might be just stopping a gas station or a temporal check point.

There a certain wilderness an proximity to them that I can’t explain.

a reply to: Peeple

Cross species interaction should be mutual.

How many species will shun or kill their own because they've got a bit of human scent on them?

As species we've done that ourselves to the one's who are different.

I'm thinking the common theme is nobody likes difference whether it's in the group or elsewhere. Idk, people who experience are different and tend to have different takes on aggression and when to utilize it, it recently struck me (pretty hard) that this trait actually makes them victims.

The take is often "why me?" Or a conclusion of some kind of specialness, whereas the reality might be the only thing different is your unlikeness to strike back.

Is it possible experiencers are coming to the wrong conclusion, it might be simply easier to 'communicate' with such people. Either way the 'fun' is a promise on the way whilst the outcomes are hardly ever positive.

originally posted by: Peeple
I want more.
I want to know.

Life is loss, and it gets worse... much worse

This is all you need to know.

Good luck 👍

originally posted by: 38181
a reply to: TheGreazel

What signals do you look out for and how do you stop it from happening again?

Sorry for the late response.

the signals i get when things are going sideways is just a overall drop in self esteem i would say.

Double checking everything and apologising multiple times to people after arguments even if i am in the right.

The self esteem got so bad to a point that when i did not have a memory about things i did during my work i would automaticly assume i messed it up.

I was already doing that work for a good 13 years at the time , work i could do blind with one hand on my back.

Therapy helped for a while , but i am not much of a talker.

Everyone has a different opinion about medication , but in my case it has helped a lot.

a reply to: RAY1990

Define positive?
Coming to grips with reality doesn't include pretending we are not heavily influenced by all kinds of 'agents' already, it won't make any of them go away.
To establish contact is positive even if it isn't pretty what we find.

a reply to: Peeple

I think it's impossible to avoid trauma growing up and in adulthood for one person's trauma is another person's challenge - what do you expect of yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you negatively judge yourself?

Life is hard so do the best you can with what you have and most of all love yourself first, then if you want to engage with people then drop all expectations because everyone else is struggling along too.

a reply to: Peeple

I'm guessing for people experiencing the contact is already established one way or another. It might be a lifelong thing although if someone was to go digging I'd advice them to stay away from hypnotists and do some memory work or meditation.

I'd guess the problem is when the 'victim' no longer wants contact, they develop their fight response since there's no flight if things continue.

Positive would be the phenomena stopping when in that state of mind. I'm not too sure if that can be defined as a good thing given they're most likely outcasts of some kind anyways.

To establish contact is positive even if it isn't pretty what we find.

Better than limbo!

A wolf with human scent isn't good for the pack yet very few humans would take it home with them. The wolf is screwed if it starts growling at people and it's own kind it finds no comfort with.

Was the wolf special or was it just approachable?

Bit of a predicament when I think about it.

a reply to: RAY1990

Yeah well: no.
'It' is always there, the wolf in your example was already bred in a wildlife resort.
There's no coming or going it's there and messing with us if we 'see' it or not.
I'm firmly of the opinion getting to know what 'it' really actually is and what it's doing is under all circumstances preferable to what we do now. Which is just throwing a couple of big labels around that only contain fantasy.

a reply to: Peeple

Ah I see what you did there.

I picked wolves since they're not too dissimilar than us and we made dogs together. Scale it up then we become the wolf and earth becomes the metaphorical wildlife resort? Scale it down and the earth could become a lot more fun, maybe we'd just accidentally teach the dolphins to kill anything bigger and scarier than them...

I try not to define 'it' since things are different for everyone. I'm learning not to be dismissive either.