Funny Insults

i have to admit its been a while since i've had a good deep laugh straight from the gut... but this got me laughing!!

i found a reddit thread asking for peoples best insults

reading through them... once you get rolling the laughs start to spill over

IF you happen to have anything without being too crude... feel free to add to the list

Theres nothing better then a good laugh to cheer up the world!



a couple notables....

"somewhere out there, theres a tree thats soul purpose in life is to replace the oxygen you waist... go find that tree and apologise"

[snip]

originally posted by: Akragon
i have to admit its been a while since i've had a good deep laugh straight from the gut... but this got me laughing!!

i found a reddit thread asking for peoples best insults

reading through them... once you get rolling the laughs start to spill over

IF you happen to have anything without being too crude... feel free to add to the list

Theres nothing better then a good laugh to cheer up the world!



a couple notables....

"somewhere out there, theres a tree thats soul purpose in life is to replace the oxygen you waist... go find that tree and apologise"

[snip]

😂😂 That 2nd one is brutal

“I’m sitting here wondering, how much better the world would be if you Dad had just pulled out”

“Dude, your face looks like something I’d draw with my left hand, do you step on rakes for fun?”

this is too funny

I usually always have an insults ready to go,
now I can't think of one!

a reply to: Akragon

"The most work you do is on your back... And I hear you half-@ss that too!"

"The sun never sets on the British Empire.... because God doesn't trust the British in the dark."

a reply to: Akragon

Your mom's so hairy, she speaks wookie....

I'm always so exited to see you... chasing the bus, with 5 cents short for a ticket


Your mother should have swallowed you


You could do more effort to make at least one of your faces look pretty


Shut your mouth! I can smell your abscess


Sweetie, life will take you to wonderful places! And I hope you stay there

If I wanted to hear the opinion of an $$$-hole I'd fart...

a reply to: Akragon

While I see your point, I think if you put a hat on it no one will notice.

a reply to: Bluntone22

"If I wanted lip, I'd unzip"

"I would teach you how to do this, but educating you is like putting expensive grass seed on a blacktop driveway"

Love this!
S&F AND saved for future quick reference!
Thank you!
Rainbows
Jane
Are we not allowed the Reddit link?

a reply to: Akragon

I'm this close →← to using "Mama always said if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." in another thread.

a reply to: BigOldCaddy

That's a good one. Maybe I will use that one instead.

Shakespeare insult generator. use one phrase or term from each column.

a reply to: ElGoobero
So, that's where Monty Python got their insults from

Rainbows
Jane

a reply to: Akragon

You so ugly, yo' mama had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you!

Yo' mama so fat, she wore stilettos and struck oil.

Yo' mama so fat, she wore yellow and the sun quit.

I seen yo' mama kickin' a can down the street, I say ''whachoo doin?" she say "mooovin'"

One I'll never forget: a buddy of mine and his wife were arguing (about a cat, I think).

She says, "That's it! You're cut off!" He comes right back with, "You can't cut me off, you don't know where I'm getting it!"

They wound up getting divorced a few months later.

a reply to: Akragon

Yo' mama so fat she cut her leg and gravy ran out.

Yo' mama so fat she walk in your house and the tires pop.

Yo' mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get on her good side.

Yo' mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Yo' mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo' mama's so stupid, she stared at a can of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

Yo' mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo' mama's so stupid, when she heard, "Drinks are on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo' mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo' mama's cooking so nasty, the flies got together and fixed the hole in the window screen.

Yo' mama's so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.

Apologies if this one pushes the limits in to crass-ville, but when I read the un-tamed version of it I almost spat out my coffee laughing.



Did it hurt?

When you fell from someone's rear end and hit the toilet water, you piece of dung...