posted on Mar, 9 2022 @ 12:54 PM
I didn't notice it much at first, when I was younger. Now and then I would notice it but without really noticing it would be gone and I would forget
about it. Until that is, it would come again and I would go, ''Oh, there it is again'' and then go on about my stuff. Then I retired and moved to
the country where silence was much more prevalent.
That silence has now become a curse. I always loved silence, the sitting or walking alone in quite places. Times to clear my head, find that inner
silence to let my mind fill itself with possibilities of of thought and creative philosophical explorations. Now those seem to be gone for the most
My tinnitus began in earnest maybe five years ago when I realized that it had become a real nuisance. It wasn't a ''ringing in my ears'' as it is
so commonly considered but rather a high ''buzz'' though out my head. Ever take a hearing exam? The one where they put the headphones on you and
the give a little buzz in one ear and then in the other ear and make is so it seems that the ''buzz'' comes from different places around you? Well
that is the tinnitus I have. But not just in little blips of sound here and there but as a constant cacophony of buzzzzzz all though out my head.
I have mentioned this to friends my age and they too say they have it and to just forget about it and it will go away. Well I tried that for a bit but
the only way it ever goes away is if I am engaged in conversation with someone and doing stuff with them. But when I am alone or even in a quiet
situation there is is buzzing away. I have to have music on or the tv so as back ground so that I can focus on anything. Just quietly sitting and
reading a book is now beyond my capacity.
I tried head massage to no avail and then tried acupuncture and that was no help either. I have been to two different ear doctors and all they could
do to help me understand it is how to pronounce the word. One said tin-i-tus and the other calls it tin-a-tis. Thanks guys. I've been on line
searching and searching for some remedy and found nothing but dozens of miracle cures that people are willing to sell me. Each one says ''oh not
that one,,, this is the one, the only one''
Now though it is at times getting almost intolerable. I"m sitting here now with no sounds going on just so that I can relate to it as I type.
It's not just one note but rather several that express themselves in different manners in my head, making a discordant buzz. Maybe a simple major G
chord or something like that would be better. I"de even settle for a B minor seventh if that could be worked out.
And now to that background noise is added another fun thrill. Maybe once a week or so, I have this thing that happens from either of my ears. As if a
plane is swooping down from one side or the other with a single note drone that then flies into either ear and straight though my head which turns the
whole world around me into a momentary acid trip.
I keep saying now but here is another new happening over the last couple of weeks. I get what I call the ''woodpecker''. It's more like a cricket
in one side of my head, so far, that goes clickclickclickclickclickclick until it stops.
Well, now it is time to turn on some sound. Today I will go with an old favorite movie ''Earth Vrs the Flying Saucers''. I know it well enough now
that that part of my brain that notices these sounds can follow along with the narrative and hopefully leave the rest of my brain to other things.