Kids Without Rules, Boundaries or Limitations (Don't read if you are 'sensitive')

Warning and disclaimer: This is going to be a _REAL_ rant, not one of those soft, sissy ones that simply try to point out something without any feeling. This is going to be a really annoying post to read, so consider yourself warned, you can still turn back. Don't read this if you are sensitive to any topic or anything, I am not going to soften my language or walk on eggshells.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Has anyone here heard of the word "discipline"?

It seems to be some kind of dark, evil monster that no PARENT wants to touch. Some people in a TV show even thought it means 'aggression'.

What's wrong with people, when these basic things are so commonly not understood at all?

It's interesting how life sometimes forces you to open your eyes. I live in a bit of a 'ghetto'-type area, where the city always assigns 'exciting, enriching foreigners' to live. The only way to retain sanity is to use earplugs almost 100% of the time, only visit the outside world at certain hours, keep doors and curtains closed for most of the time and just blast some kind of music into ears and just try to minimize any exposure to anything outside the apartment.

This strategy saved my sanity when these 'cultural miracles' that broke every single ordinance I was aware of blatantly, openly and without any kind of limits, almost made my head explode with their behaviour, and when I realized they would probably beat me up if I tried to discuss about any of it (in a friendly manner, mind you) any further (I tried once, I failed).

So, 'closing up' in a sort of 'cocoon' has saved me, and I have been able to live this way for many years without my nerves being shattered by these, let's say 'thoughtless neighbors'.

However, there is a tendency among certain groups to reproduce like rabbits, so every morning, if I happened to be even near my door that leads to the hallway, even through the earplugs, some really unpleasant stomping and screaming noises were heard. Every single morning except weekends.

My strategy was to consider it just a short, temporary noisewave and disturbance that went away relatively quickly, and to stay away from the door during that time. I didn't always remember, and sometimes I had to .. let's say 'powder my noise' at a bad time, so some of this disturbance was unavoidable. This happened during the era when these .. should I call them 'wombrats' or just 'brats'? (I wonder if that's where the word 'brat' came from..)

This was when the brats were young, so it was partially understandable, as they were learning to stomp down the stairs one by one, as their legs were tiny and couldn't reach to stomp the stairs fully, like the adults do. I never understood all the SUPER noisy screaming from the brats AND the parents, but whatever.

My 'cocoon-strategy' worked pretty well despite this disharmony every morning, until it was time for 'renovation'.

Now, renovation is HELL anyway, suddenly I have to go do my 'business' in the mutual facility in the building that's used by everyone else, and when I do it, there's often (yesterday, in fact) some 'enricher' screaming at the top of his lungs to his probable wife, who was screaming back at the top of her lungs, while the brats were also screaming, as this facility also contains showers and such, which the brat and the female parent were probably using, I don't know.

I don't know if I can ever explain just HOW unpleasant, irritating, shocking and disruptive it is to have to listen to someone SCREAM VERY LOUD RIGHT next to the door of the 'room' you are sitting in, in some language you don't know or understand, but which sounds really annoying to your ears, while trying to sit 'on the throne'. It's obvious this is not the optimal circumstances for 'performance', so I had to of course stop trying for the time.

These brats have grown up a bit, so now they can run fast and scream even louder, and 'spy' on the doors (I saw him putting his ear against the neighbour's door from the peephole, when I was wondering what the ruckus in the hallway is), and today a renovation man told me that kid had run into another neighbour's apartment when he was renovating there.

This in addition to screaming at the top of his lungs EVERY SINGLE SECOND he's in the hallway, especially with the parent(s), who SCREAM BACK and stomp the stairs as if they want to destroy them with kicking.

These brats, for some reason, aren't in kindergarten, school or anything, and all day long, they run up and down the stairs, there's barely many minutes when they're NOT in the hallway.

So, today, the renovation man was doing his thing, and I was in another room, trying to listen to music through the drill noises and such, when suddenly..

.. I hear this brat's BRAIN-TEARING SHRIEK coming RIGHT from my very apartment!

What.. the.. FFFFFFFFFffffffff (I really, really want to write that word right now)...

This completely unlimited brat that unlawfully has ALREADY entered other people's apartments utilizing the renovation (the renovation people come and go between apartments all day, so they leave the doors open, half-open, etc.) as an opportunity, without any care or limitations, and then SHRIEKS in those apartments.

Yes, I was literally INVADED today, and I can pretty much guarantee, there are a few more shocking things than your own home being invaded by some.. let's say 'foreign kid' that screams and shrieks at super high volume and there's nothing you can do, because the renovation people left the door open so they're free to do that.. what do the parents do? Just simply drag the kid away at some point as I close the door angrily.

I don't know whom to blame here, except the idiotic, clueless parents. How can they LET their kid behave this way? I probably don't have to mention what culture or what country these people are from, anyone with half a brain and a little bit of experience can easily guess.

I don't mean to be racist, but this kind of experience really makes non-racist people at least a little bit, if not racist, at least hating a certain country, as their people don't seem to know how to behave in an apartment building for the most part. I am sure there are good people, too, but so many people's experiences mirror mine, and are even worse.

It's like they either don't have a CLUE about disciplining their kids or EVEN telling them the rules, limitations or putting ANY boundaries on them, or they are afraid to do so (for some reason). It could be that their worshipped 'culture' dictates that you shan't limit what a male can do (which is misogyny and inequality, but because it's 'cultural', feminists don't seem to care), who the heck knows.

All I know that I feel violated; because of this damned renovation, I don't have control of my apartment, and life is really opening my eyes as to WHAT the heck is happening outside my apartment (I REALLY didn't want to know, and I am very shocked the situation is this bad!)

Even if we remove the whole 'cultural' aspect from this, because there are other groups and people that do this (or don't do this), WHY do parents just let kids do WHATEVER they want?

WHY?

I mean, Supernanny and Dog Whisperer / Cesar 911 have been very popular TV shows, but when you look at the world, it's as if neither exists. Kids scream and yell and behave any which way they want and do whatever they want, even intrude, invade and break the law, while breaking the ordinances by screaming and stomping..

I read it from start to finish good post. What’s that old saying you can’t see your own enrichment on your knees?

Best of luck. Hope you elevate yourself someday.
a reply to: Shoujikina

a reply to: Shoujikina

There is an old expression that fits this situation.

Raise your kids, spoil your grandkids.
Spoil your kids, raise your grandkids.

a reply to: Shoujikina

I didn't read your entire thread but I get your drift. I live sandwiched between two adult children. One is a Accountant-Lawyer and the other is a CEO of a not for profit Health Care related business. They do whatever they want to our property as in dogs crapping and removal of our trees via poison or simply cutting them down to improve their view.

I finally got the security cameras up and got one dick on video at night. I now have a police incident report on file and a lawyer who will send a cease and desists letter.

Both children wont be able to control themselves so next step will be a Personal Injury Lawyer. I have enough pictures, evidence and witnesses that I will send them to hell

When you look at the world, dogs do WHATEVER they want, even try to fight with other dogs and bite people (especially if small, because small dogs are 'cute', so anything they do is just seen as 'cute', and people (usually women) just pull their leashes to 'control' them - without realizing, they only control their body, not their mind, as they SHOULD do), and kids.. holy cow, kids are allowed to, in their own damn hallway, ENTER OTHER PEOPLE'S APARTMENTS!

It's like invasion from another planet, when some .. THING.. just suddenly shrieks inside your apartment that you never invited there, a thing that doesn't look like you, it doesn't sound like you, it screams a language completely alien and foreign to you, this is what NIGHTMARES are made out of.

I mean, it's one thing that they scream, shriek and holler in the hallway (should be 'hollerway'?), but it's a completely different thing when they just ENTER YOUR APARTMENT and bring that mind-ripping noise into your own abode, it's like sanctity has been broken, NOWHERE is safe, you have been invaded and there's no security anymore.

HOW can parents let their brats behave this way? The only consequence is screaming and more screaming. I have NEVER heard these people talk in a 'normal voice', or without some kind of anger - they don't seem to 'discuss in a civil way'. The mom just yells at the brats and that's all, the brats scream and shriek back with the voice that's worse than a renovation drill in your head (the renovation drills can get pretty darn loud because they have to break the concrete floors and such, but I'd rather listen to that for 12 hours a day every month than listen to 10 seconds of that OTHER noise that cuts your soul to pieces and gets on every nerve you have and then some).

Of course all of this seems very systematic; the 'useful idiots', often women (don't shoot me, I am just the messenger) have this 'compassionate' approach to immigration (especially illegal immigration), where they only see the rosy picture of someone poor that is now given a chance for a better life, and then this 'compassion' is used to flow enormous amount of .. I don't know a proper term here, but you get the idea .. into the country, then they're put to live amidst 'regular' people, without TEACHING them anything, from ordinances to rules to behaviour to ..

.. I mean, renovation is hell as it is, a missing important facility from your apartment is stressful enough, having to share a facility with all kinds of neighbours you don't know (I have very new neighbours, some of which I haven't even seen yet, and others that are really bad dog handlers - was kind of startled to suddenly get a chain-BARK at my face when I went to my balcony, and seeing the female handler didn't perform a proper correction, just basically touched the dog's mouth and took the dog inside) very well..

... but to have to do it in THIS kind of circumstances, that feel like someone broke my real-life firewall and started hacking me, it's like ten times worse than it otherwise would have been.

To his credit, the renovation man did apologize and started telling the stories about the wild and crazy kid that's allowed to do whatever he wants, running into other people's apartments.

This kind of parents really make other people's lives hell. I don't understand why people that have NO clue about child psychology, reproduce so much. Do they think it's gonna be easy? Do they not care?

I mean, if I get ANYTHING new, I am going to gosh-darned well RESEARCH it, first. If I were to get a dog, you could BET I would be an expert on dog psychology, if I were to get a computer, I would know every little microchip and detail of that computer before I buy it, and if I were to ever reproduce (I have no plans to in this kind of a world, but I never had ANY kind of urge to do so anyway, so I can't even understand why anyone would want to be a parent, not rationally, emotionally or 'urge-wise'), you could be sure I would know more about child psychology than some child psychologist professional.

But not these people.. they buy dogs because they're 'cute', they reproduce because (?????) .. well, I have NEVER figured out why anyone would reproduce, but why can't they AT LEAST research something before doing it? Why don't they ANTICIPATE problems? Why don't they understand the importance of DISCIPLINE?

Discipline is a great thing, it gives the child SECURITY and feeling their life has structure, it makes a dog happy, because the dog doesn't have to take the pack leader role, so the dog can relax and trust the human, and so on.

And yet, parents and dog handlers seem to be as afraid of discipline as they have the urge to own a dog or have a kid.

I don't get it.. can anyone explain?

In any case, life has a way of breaking your 'cocoon' if you try to shield yourself from circumstances or your own karma, it forces you into situations where you have to face the most irritating things you can imagine, and then some. Then it instills fear in you, takes away any (maybe false) feeling of security and control you thought you had over your life, and lets these [censored] invade your very soul.

So anyone who thinks karma doesn't work, think again; you might end up in this very situation! I don't mean physically or circumstancially, I mean spiritually-emotionally and feeling-wise (there's a difference between 'emotion' and 'feeling').

The circumstances might be different, but when life wants to punch you, it knows exactly how to do it, and where your vulnerabilities are.

I am telling ya (whoever 'ya' are), I have rarely felt quite THIS vulnerable and invaded in my life.

I am sure life can do worse; when I listen or read other people's experiences, or think about things like wars, where some foreign adult people with guns break down your door and start doing vile stuff, yeah, I admit it's worse.

But my situation sort of hints at such possibility.. if THIS can happen today, WHAT can happen tomorrow? How am I going to sleep tonight, knowing this problem is not going to be fixed, those parents are SO clueless and imbalanced, their brat is going to be a criminal pretty certainly - heck, he ALREADY IS! (Home invasion is one of the worst crimes after the more serious ones, like murder and violence - it's like mental violence already)

Parents, PLEASE watch some episodes of Supernanny, LEARN to discipline your kid for the kid's OWN GOOD if nothing else. It is the best thing you can do for your family, your kid, yourself and your neighbours and environment. Make sure your kid has rules, boundaries and limitations, and NEVER be angry at your kid, never scream or yell (we are only human, so maybe it's unavoidable sometimes, but if you learn proper techniques, you shouldn't feel the need to, in the long run).

Learn about the naughty mat/chair/corner/etc., learn about how to discipline without anger, without violence, but yet powerfully and in a way that creates lots of boredom for the child. Boredom is the most annoying thing to a kid, so instead of screaming and other stuff that can be considered child abuse, install BOREDOM to your kid whenever they misbehave, and do it with STRUCTURE - first an explanation, afterwards demand for an apology. If no apology comes, the boredom continues.

Relatively simple things, but millions of people seem to be utterly clueless, and I have the misfortune (or bad karma) to have to live as their neighbour.

a reply to: Shoujikina

As a last note; when I get out of this world, this incarnation, this life, this apartment.. I will APPRECIATE true freedom and harmony, silence, a good world, good people, good parents and good environment _SO_ much, it will probably boggle my mind. I WILL APPRECIATE IT SO DARN MUCH!!

a reply to: Shoujikina

That sounds very irritating. You could try to either scream like a scared lunatic back at him/her when they scream at you- hair disheveled, crazy eyes and all OR, if you can break through the language barrier make him/her go on loooonnnnggg errands for you.

Best of luck to you. Hope things get better.

a reply to: Shoujikina

I read the whole thing.

Word of advice, if you do not like people don’t live in an apartment/condo.

I simply can’t live right next to people, music/noise/smells… I’ve tried and just can’t.
It’s not just kids.

There are people that are unbothered by the hustle and bustle of that environment and I call those folks, city mice.

Also, kids are loud and have lots of energy. They weren’t meant to live in a box. Not sure if you heard of this guy called Sadhguru. He said if people have kids and live in the city they must take them to live in the country minimum two months or something like that. Kids need air, space, room to run and scream. That is the very nature of being a kid.

a reply to: Shoujikina
I'm sorry to say I've seen these "tactics" before, quite a few times actually. The other people can't tell you to go so they make your life a misery till you do go. Job done and they can move one of their own in. There is really nothing you can do because you are a lone person. But, with a big but, beware of how this is affecting you because these situations can lead to you doing something to yourself.

You sound like an amazingly strong person. Stay tough and you'll get through it. Here's wishing you better living circumstances in the future.

You can vent your frustrations online here, and always find a few sympathetic ears.

God Bless!

If they enter your premises without your consent shoot them.

In the leg. No more stomping.

Then go buy a shotgun and let everyone know it’s because you couldn’t hit a plum target like the kids melon head with your pistol.

Might help, might not.

a reply to: Shoujikina

Buy a canned air horn start blasting it when they get out of hand.

originally posted by: Dalamax
If they enter your premises without your consent shoot them.

In the leg. No more stomping.

Then go buy a shotgun and let everyone know it’s because you couldn’t hit a plum target like the kids melon head with your pistol.

Might help, might not.

a reply to: Shoujikina

You guys are all amateurs.

Put on your creepiest pair of pants, NO shirt, put a lollipop in your mouth and tell the kids parents you want to babysit for FREE. Guaranteed they will keep those kids away.


Disclaimer- this is in now way promoting evil degenerates.


On a side note. I had a horrible neighbor that used to let her dog bark all day every day, from morning until they came home from work. This dog would not shut up. I got a dog whistle and used it at 3 am, 2am, 4 am on random days.
I could see all the lights in the house go on. It was hilarious.

a reply to: Shoujikina

Seems you don't have kids...this is what most kids do regardless of colour. They yell, smash things, bicker, and the parents holler at them to get their attention and try to instill some civility into them before they are out on their own. Most. My brother's kids are cooped up in an apartment, have to go to church a few times a week and super disciplined to stay quiet but they are missing the joy of freedom and being children, exploring on their own, figuring things out on their own. Those lessons are so valuable as they allow the child to have made mistakes and learnt from them at an age it doesn't matter. Too much forced discipline creates extremes of lifetime bootlicking or rebellion. The rare kid that suits it might then excel in the military but most will struggle with it.

I raised my kids feral though in a rural area so they weren't bothering anyone. I let them fail school until they were so sick of failing that they graduated without a word from me. They turned out fine and if they hadn't it's still up to them to become the adults they want to be.

Have you thought about moving for your own sanity?

a reply to: crayzeed

Yep, that's usually how it goes and read familiar to me. I didn't experience the, what we call "rausekeln", "to disgust someone out" it myself, but saw it happening with friends. It can make you not feel at home and foreign in your own country, city or street you grew up. Has also nothing to do with hating them or foreign people in general. I understand the OPs rage to a point.

It's a difference if they speak your language mostly, try to integrate with the country and are inclusive and then I am all in for getting to know their culture and language, too.

@OP
However OP if you read this, I hope so because it's your thread, please consider that these are kids and probably influenced or not parented. You labeled them "thing", watch what you might become emotionally.

a reply to: Shoujikina

Regarding the race/ethnicity/nation issue, I propose that there is an ENORMOUS difference between two categories. Those who arrived legally vs those who are, what’s the term? Ah, yes. Undocumented.

As I realized this it all made sense. If the parents have total disregard for laws and rules…. Why would the kids be any different? Why would the parents instill respect in kids when they, themselves don’t respect society?

a reply to: JAGStorm


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now that’s thinking out side the box 🤣

a reply to: Shoujikina

This problem started when we stopped hitting brats upside the head.