TT-2022 - My Antique Lamp

Gosh, this one is just too good to pass up!! Here's my entry:

TITLE - My Antique Lamp

Author - FlyingClayDisk

Date - February 23, 2022

---------(BEGIN STORY)---------

While walking down the street with my wife in this quaint town I spied the Ye Olde Antique Shoppe. We decided to go inside and have a look around. As soon as I walked through the door I spied this really curious looking brass lamp. I had to have it. My wife laughed at me because she knows I like weird stuff. I asked the lady at the counter how much it was, and she said, "How about ten bucks?". I looked the lamp over, it was kind of beat up a little, so I offered her five bucks. We agreed on seven. A few minutes later, out the door we went with my lamp in hand.

Later that evening after dinner I decided to go down into the basement and clean up the lamp a little with some brass polish. After a few seconds of rubbing polish on the lamp it started smoking, and low and behold, out popped a Genie! "Holy Cow!!!...a Genie!!", I exclaimed. I asked the Genie what his name was, and he said his name was 'Clyde'. Just great, of all the Genie's I get one named Clyde; wouldn't you know it! Anyway, Clyde was pretty cool. Me and Clyde got to rappin' a little bit and Clyde tells me he can grant me three wishes. I'm like..."For Real??? You really do the 3 wish thing??? Far out, man!"

So Clyde asks me what I want for my three wishes, and he tells me to hurry up because he's got this happenin' party to go to where there's a bunch of hot chicks who are really into Genies. I tell Clyde (the Genie) I want to go back in time. He asks me what my other two wishes are, and I tell him my 2nd wish is to have unlimited wishes, and I want to save my 3rd wish in case some bad ju-ju happens with my first two wishes that I didn't think of ahead of time. He tells me that's all cool (and that it was one of his better wish candidate's wishes...apparently some people wish for some really stupid crap without thinking.) Anyway, he asks me what year I want to travel back to....ummmmm (trying to hurry here)...1964. Clyde looks at me like I'm nuts and asks me why 1964. I told him not to worry about it, but to give me a few minutes to shower and put on some decent threads for my trip. He's cool with that, so I give him a beer and he hangs out on the couch for a few while I take care of business.

Before I hop in the shower I go jump on the interwebz, download all the winning lottery numbers from the very first "Lottery" as we know it today. There were some other bogus ones back in '32, but '64 is when the real deal all started happening. While all that stuff is printing out, I go jump in the jump in the shower, put on my best Adidas jogging suit, slap on about a quart of Aramis cologne and BOOM!, I'm ready to rock! I rock back over to ol' Clyde who's knocked back about a six pack of Mickey's by now and tell him I'm ready to rock. I tell him he can hang out as long as he likes, just don't leave beer bottles all over the joint cuz the wife gets pissed. Clyde tells me to stand in the middle of the room and hold still. Next thing I know there's this big flash and WHAM, I'm in 1964. COOL!

By about '89 I'm rollin' in doe! I'm like Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, the Sultan of Brunei and all the other richest cats in the World all rolled into one! These cats ain't got nothin' on me, bay-bee! Yeah sure, I let a few people win every now and then just to keep the gig goin', but when the big fat lotteries roll around I'm..."in like Flynn"! PLUS...I've still got unlimited wishes left too! I'm like Gawd, I'm wishin' people to the Moon, wishin' my own governments...just all kinds of stuff. This is awesome! Oh yeah, a year or so after I went back to '64, I wished to come back to the present to pick up the ol' lady so she could hang with me and enjoy the ride. She's like a Goddess now, got all the best Coach bags an' stuff...and shoes? Holy Mother of all things Holy, she's got shoes comin' out the WA-ZOO, lemme' tell ya!!!! Dude, I had to have a whole dang skyscraper built just so she'd have a place for all the damn shoes! Lobster and PBR's every night...Life is GOOD, Holmes!

So that's pretty much my story, dudes and dudette's.

P.S. - At one point I cruised back over to 2022 and hit up the chick who owned the Ye Olde Antique Shoppe and had a whole city built for her. Hey, that's what the chick wanted, Dude, so I did it. What the heck, right? If I run outta' Benjamins sometime, I'll just head back to '81 or so and pick up a couple trillion more! Oh, and I found ol' Clyde too. He was lookin' pretty rough, Man. I had to help the cat out, so he's hangin' around here somewhere. It's ALL GOOD!

--------------THE END----------------

Your wishes came from my book of wishes !! Some minds think alike !

Thanks for your story submission,


Good Luck in the Contest,
Johnny