The Wine Sketch

Scene: Medieval times. A commoner is invited to a royal banquet.

King: Please partake in this wonderful wine.

Peasant: No thank you, I appreciate the offer though.

King: Drink the wine, it's very expensive and we'll give you an extra plate of supper.

Peasant: No, I'm fine as I am.

King: Drink the wine and we'll feed your village for a week and reduce your taxes.

Peasant: Wow, all that for wine? What's in it? But still, no thank you.

King: We'll make you a Duke.

Peasant: Very generous but no thanks, I am content in my home.

King: You're not anti wine are you?

Peasant: No, I just don't feel like drinking this wine at the moment.

King: Drink the wine or we'll stop you from working.

Peasant: What?!

King: And we'll ban you from the markets.

Peasant: My, how you're tone has changed.

King: Now you must drink 4 glasses or we'll stop you from riding your horse and keep you from seeing your family for the next year.

Peasant: 4 glasses?

King: Yes, and we want you to drink another glass every few months indefinitely for the years to come.

Peasant: Years?!

King: Yes, or we'll try you for treason.

Peasant: Alright, what is in this damn wine that you're trying so hard to make everyone drink?

King: We can't tell you, trade secret.

Peasant: The wine's poisoned, isn't it?

King: No it's really good for you, it's.. uh... special healing wine.

Peasant: Then why all the threats.

King: We just don't want you to miss out.

Peasant: But the Earl drank a glass and has collapsed.

King: Unrelated.

Peasant: No, he was just fine then had a glass of wine then keeled over. Look! He's blue in the face and is clawing at his chest.

King: Coincidence. Guards! Take the Earl to his chambers.

Peasant: I knew it was the wine! Look! Half the court has also collapsed after the wine!

King: Those guests got ill from something else.

Peasant: All at the same time?

King: You sure do ask alot of questions. Guards! Bring this man his wine!

Peasant: I don't want to drink it. What if something happens to me after I drink it?

King: We're not liable for that.

Peasant: Not liable for the wine you produce? I definitely don't want to drink it.

King: You must drink it so everyone else doesn't get a hangover.

Peasant: That doesn't make any sense!

King: Take the damn wine now! We've already signed a contract with the distillery and paid for a crate for each member of your family! Everyone who is drunk on this batch will be reclassified as sober and must drink the new batch! You're children too! Everyone must drink the wine!

End scene.

a reply to: CloneFarm1000

I also use my writing to make a point and relieve some of my frustrations. Sometimes simplifying the complexities surrounding a situation hits home for even the most confused reader...

Nicely done. Makes me want to write something up as well.

Thanks!
blend

Peasant: you go first! If in 10 years you haven't been lynched and still want me to drink the wine, we’ll talk again.

This was nicely done. One very important thing missing though. That this looked like wine but actually was some new concoction (by a known witch, who can't be trusted) that doesn't even work like normal alcohol and nobody had ever tried this before it was given out.
😉