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Have you ever been down in the gutter

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posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 05:01 AM
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Picking oneself is hard to do. The VA has a program to help Vets that are in the gutter so to speak. They guide you in a path of self respect and help you find not only your self worth but get you housing and hopefully you can maintain employment.
Being down in the gutter is real. Its like a bottomless pit of hopelessness, but if you can grab onto the walls of hope, then there is a chance of one pulling oneself out of this pit.

I didn't work with the VA on this project on an island in the pacific, but I know that being in friendship with those ( a few ) that help the Vets out that it is very challenging. Alcohol is a down fall in all cases of those that have lost all hope.

Do you have a story to tell?



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 05:09 AM
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a reply to: musicismagic

In my early twenties I was a single parent working my ass off in two jobs which hardly paid the bills, felt sometimes like I couldn’t get a minute to breathe, coupled with a few crazy girlfriends and too much smoking and drinking I do remember having a few anxiety attacks. I would never leave my kids so suicide has never been an option but to say I was unhappy would be an understatement.

Eventually life sorted itself out and I’m now a lot happier, my problems now are with the direction of society rather than personal ones, my kids turned out ok and the sacrifices paid off so I can’t complain.

Now I can’t wait to retire and spend my time walking the dogs, fishing, camping and watching the stars at night by a fire with a wee dram. Simple dreams but a complicated life has led me to think that’s where I’ll find peace.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 05:50 AM
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a reply to: Grenade

I had no idea what a 'wee dram' was so I searched it. I got a few different results. I'm assuming you're referring to a little bit of scotch or whiskey...




BUT this is what the Urban Dictionary says:

Wee Dram
The act of ejaculating into your partner's armpit.

www.urbandictionary.com...





posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 05:52 AM
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originally posted by: BrokenCircles
a reply to: Grenade

I had no idea what a 'wee dram' was so I searched it. I got a few different results. I'm assuming you're referring to a little bit of scotch or whiskey...




BUT this is what the Urban Dictionary says:

Wee Dram
The act of ejaculating into your partner's armpit.

www.urbandictionary.com...




As a talented musician I find your lyrics of that of a mind that has touch the end of the 7 colors of the rainbow.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 05:57 AM
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a reply to: BrokenCircles

You got it. The whiskey part. Never tried the other description, not sure that will go down too well.
edit on 11/12/21 by Grenade because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 06:16 AM
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I got out of the service at age 21 after 4 years in the military. Spent a few years working various jobs and eventually found drugs and booze. Wasn't long before I lost everything and lived out of my car. Then I lost the car. Slept outside, ate whatever I could find but never begged for money or stole things, not sure why. One day I felt my spirit just give up. It was almost peaceful in it's surrender. In my mind, it was over and thought I'd say goodbye to family I hadn't spoken to for years and when I called they said they thought I was dead but offered to buy me a plane ticket "home". I hated it more than being homeless honestly but I recovered and built a new life. Without that help, I don't think I would have made it. People don't hire you for long term when you're homeless. You're dirty, have almost no possessions and can't even cash a check because you lost your banking privileges on the way down. I never went to the VA or knew about any kind of programs back then, but I'm glad they have some now. I donate what I can in time and money to a few causes now because while hope is one of the most important things you need to survive, resources are a must in todays world and sometimes you find yourself outside of the places where you can do it on your own.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 06:21 AM
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originally posted by: Paschar0
I got out of the service at age 21 after 4 years in the military. Spent a few years working various jobs and eventually found drugs and booze. Wasn't long before I lost everything and lived out of my car. Then I lost the car. Slept outside, ate whatever I could find but never begged for money or stole things, not sure why. One day I felt my spirit just give up. It was almost peaceful in it's surrender. In my mind, it was over and thought I'd say goodbye to family I hadn't spoken to for years and when I called they said they thought I was dead but offered to buy me a plane ticket "home". I hated it more than being homeless honestly but I recovered and built a new life. Without that help, I don't think I would have made it. People don't hire you for long term when you're homeless. You're dirty, have almost no possessions and can't even cash a check because you lost your banking privileges on the way down. I never went to the VA or knew about any kind of programs back then, but I'm glad they have some now. I donate what I can in time and money to a few causes now because while hope is one of the most important things you need to survive, resources are a must in todays world and sometimes you find yourself outside of the places where you can do it on your own.


having a heart to go back to is like the 7 colors of the rainbow



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 06:28 AM
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a reply to: musicismagic

It wasn't. When I graduated HS the only thing I asked for was a waiver so I could join up at 17 and get the # out that place.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 08:13 AM
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Just remember, someone like Paris Hilton will never appreciate how lucky she is, since she's never struggled pretty much her entire life. And it shows in her character.

Having it tough just gives you a better perspective when things get better, and gives you an appreciation for life that money can not buy.

Struggling makes you strong, teaches you perseverance, makes you humble, makes you empathetic, charitable, and teaches that hard work results, most times, in bettering yourself and your soul.

Struggling sucks yes. Every time. But you can embrace the experience and use it to appreciate when you are not struggling.

And yes, I pulled myself up, but every little thing I have I appreciate, especially my health which I partly attribute to the afore mentioned "hard work".



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 08:20 AM
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originally posted by: BrokenCircles
a reply to: Grenade

I had no idea what a 'wee dram' was so I searched it. I got a few different results. I'm assuming you're referring to a little bit of scotch or whiskey...




BUT this is what the Urban Dictionary says:

Wee Dram
The act of ejaculating into your partner's armpit.

www.urbandictionary.com...




Ive had to urge to do a lot of weird questionable things related to my sex life, wee dram? not so much. How do you even broach the subject or do you just latch on to it like a dog humping your leg
edit on 11-12-2021 by putnam6 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 08:26 AM
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a reply to: putnam6

I think you both need to be really really drunk, and she (or he) needs to be completely passed out in a very deep sleep.

But you MUST have jokingly mentioned it sometime earlier in the evening in order to get consent first, of course.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 08:39 AM
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a reply to: BrokenCircles

You should probably read this back and reconsider.

This isn't the 1970's mate.




posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 08:52 AM
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a reply to: Grenade

Well, I wouldn't do it, but he asked "How...", so I figured I'd answer.




posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 09:07 AM
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a reply to: BrokenCircles

I'll remember this advice while getting to know people a little too well in the prison showers.



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 09:49 AM
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a reply to: musicismagic

Not all hard times are created equally.

Poverty and homeless comes with a poster depicting the substance abuser, the mentally insane, and the lazy.

Sometimes hard times cannot be avoided. So many have forgotten, or are clueless about the times of the dust bowl, and the great depression. We are not far from a historical repeat.




edit on 11-12-2021 by NightSkyeB4Dawn because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 11:47 AM
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I grew up in alcoholic house hold with parents who also grew up in alcoholic house holds. Self medicating was the normal for pain and pleasure.

I didn’t even know anything was wrong with my family until I was around 15 or so and starting drinking myself that I began to understand what was happening at home. But it was a flawed understanding and I fell into the same pit fall myself. I do not blame them for i know now just how difficult a challenge they had to face in their own demons.

I like my others sought out a life of instant gratification in which my sole purpose was to be high. I would work 3-4 jobs 60-70 hour work weeks. I would always pay my bills but never was there a cent left over after being paid. I lived like this until I was 28. I sought help and went to treatment on my own volition believing their had to be a better way to live then what I was doing because I was going to kill my self soon if I couldn’t stop destroying myself.( not intentionally like blowing my head off but I was weak and had overdosed before.)

I found what I was looking for there it gave me a 2 month break from the only life I had ever known(I don’t think I lived one single day 100% sober as an adult until I checked in at 28.

I learned about myself and other with clear eyes and mind. I went from atheist to agnostic. I found a power that I didn’t know existed within me. Something greater then me and and greater then this place. From that spark I sought to better myself both mentally and physically.

My son was born 2 years into my sobriety on the exact day I checked myself in for help.
The synchronicity’s that began to unfold once I started the right path were profound.

I am sober to this day about to enjoy my 3rd year.
a reply to: musicismagic


edit on 11-12-2021 by Athetos because: (no reason given)

edit on 11-12-2021 by Athetos because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 11:58 AM
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a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn


The richest, most powerful country on the planet. We give billions to other countries and yet our own people are living in squalor.

smh



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 12:16 PM
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originally posted by: BrokenCircles
a reply to: Grenade

I had no idea what a 'wee dram' was so I searched it. I got a few different results. I'm assuming you're referring to a little bit of scotch or whiskey...




BUT this is what the Urban Dictionary says:

Wee Dram
The act of ejaculating into your partner's armpit.

www.urbandictionary.com...




And there was me thinking it was a shot of Whisky?!



posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 12:20 PM
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originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn


The richest, most powerful country on the planet. We give billions to other countries and yet our own people are living in squalor.

smh


And the people don't see why we have lost all respect at home and abroad.

Propaganda, or a con? Possible.

The problem is that it is true. We have several local pantries. The need is real.

Our government does not give a damn, and they don't pretend to care, unless they are trying to forcefully inject us with an experimental substance that pours money in the pockets of our owners.

Repeated share.






posted on Dec, 11 2021 @ 01:49 PM
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a reply to: musicismagic

ATS T&C are very specific on certain aspects that I will allude to in my story. I will do my best to conform to the stated rules. Please do to ask me for more specific details. If my post must be removed, I understand and apologize. I only tell my story in hope that it might be of some use to even one other.



After I was discharged from active duty I fell into a deep depression. I was very angry, filled with self hate, and turned to hard drugs and alcohol. I tried to numb my pain in the worst of ways. I am 6'2' and 230 lbs when I am healthy, but during this time I dropped down to 150 lbs and looked like an emaciated homeless person. My decline into depravity cost me the love of my life, my friends, my job, and my home. I spent many years in a haze of self pity, too stupid to ask for help. I lost so much.

A decade later, the hole I had dug for myself was so deep that I could not climb my way out no matter what I did. I finally pulled myself up by my bootstraps at one point and marched into the VA, but was treated horribly. I mean they were Very condescending and Very mean. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, and MDD. They put me on multiple meds, but they only seemed to make things worse for me. Still, I did not give up hope. Over and over again I tried to begin anew, only to fail miserably yet again. I have failed more than I have succeeded. I have done horrible things that I am still ashamed of.

In late 2019 I thought I had finally got my sh*t together. I had a good job, and was rising in rank and making friends quickly. I was on salary for the first time in my civilian life, and was on track to become a solid member of society. Then the Pandemic began, and I was promptly let go from my job. I am a chef, and my restaurant had closed indefinitely. I was crushed. I began drinking heavily and took pills, lots of pills. Soon, I alienated my new friends and lost them too. Then my parents, the only 2 people left in my life, went into the hospital with covid induced pneumonia. When I went to try to visit them in the ICU I was denied access, and was almost arrested for public intoxication. I felt more alone than ever.

That was about all I could take; I finally had reached my breaking point. I drank a bottle of jack, upended 2 pill bottles, and said goodbye to my beloved dog, Leia. I do not remember this part, but apparently i wandered outside and a neighbor found me. I woke up later that night in the ER, had my stomached pumped, and was released, Boy, was I angry. I had not expected to still be here. Somehow I walked 4 miles home through densely wooded hills, only to try to end things a second time- the more gruesome way. The ER doctor became concerned, and called the sheriff to do a welfare check on me. They arrived, busted in my door, and found me on the floor. Again, I woke up in the ER.

This time I was handcuffed to the bed. I was desolate, bereft. The next morning, I was transported to a hospital dedicated to those who had tried to commit such acts upon themselves. The place was wretched and dirty, staffed by the power hungry and populated by the lost. Worst of all, there were little children there. It broke my heart even further to see such innocent little ones in the same place as me.

One night I sat alone in the dark, ever so scared, and feeling guilty in a way that words cannot express. I remember falling to my knees and praying for the first time since I was a boy. I prayed, and cried, and I asked for forgiveness. That is the moment that everything changed for me. I realized in a very deep way that the reason for my failures and weakness was that I had been trying to deal with my problems all by myself. I asked for help. I accepted that help. Ten days later, I was released.

I am almost 2 years sober now. I found a church with people like me, and I feel at home there. I am still working on myself daily, but I am not alone. I have help, and that has made all the difference in the world. I am not depressed anymore, and have begun to remember who I used to be. I have even been writing and painting- something I haven't done in over 20 years.

I realize that the path for recovery is different for everyone, and I am not one to preach. But for me, the path began with asking Jesus to forgive me, and letting him in. Once I did, I was finally able to let go of all the guilt that I had been carrying- a weight that almost killed me. Every man's soul is his own business, but I am not shamed to tell you about how I saved mine.

Here's to a New Year, and new opportunities to make life better.


edit on 11-12-2021 by DreadKnock because: This Space For Rent



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