Bomb squad rushed to A&E after man gets WWII explosive stuck up his rectum

originally posted by: crayzeed
In my local hospital a man used to go in the AE dept. regularly with little action figures stuck up his bum. Iron man, superman etc.. The last time he went in all the staff gathered to sing "search for the hero inside yourself" by M People.

The Ballard of Lemmiwinks

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.
Hurry onward Lemmiwinks, for you will soon be dead.
The journey before you may be long and filled with woe.
But you must escape the gay man's ass, or your tale can't be told.

Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks!

Lemmiwink's journey is distant, far and vast!
To find his way out of a gay man's ass!
The road ahead is filled with danger and fright!
But push onward Lemmiwinks with all of your might!

The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead!
Don't look back Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead!
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, the time is growing late. Slow down now, and seal your fate.

Take the magic helmet-torch to help you light the way,
there's still a lot of ground to cross inside the man so gay!
Ahead of you lies adventure, and your strength still lies within!
Freedom from the ass of doom is the treasure you will win!

Lemmiwinks came to the stomach dark....
Near the depths of the lungs and heart...

Catatafish of the stomach's cove!

Catatafish's riddle will soon be told!

Lemmiwinks has made it out, his tale is nearly through!

Now that you're the Gerbil king has more adventures to go on!
Fly away to faraway lands and to the setting sun!
So many enemies and battles yet to fight!
For Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King's tale is told throughout the night!

Le-Le-Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks Lemmi-Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks, Lemm-Le-Lemmiwinks, Gerbil King.

a reply to: network dude

a reply to: Cymru

Rectum? F'n near killed him.

Did they find any Hot Wheels cars up there?

Hopefully, he won't be suffering from any explosive diarrhrea.

originally posted by: MykeNukem
a reply to: Cymru

Rectum? F'n near killed him.

I like what you did there

a reply to: Cymru

And here I thought a Taco Bell bender ended this way. Turns out all we need to do is a curry take-away bender XD

a reply to: NinjaCougar

I've found it impossible to type out Mr Slave's giggle. But... "Oh Jesus Christ!"

a reply to: Cymru

He said his doctors were the best he's ever had, they were the Bomb!

a reply to: network dude

A (w)hole new take on "Armageddon!"

a reply to: Cymru

LMAO
Bombs away!

a reply to: Cymru

What can you even say about this lol... Something about WW2 stinks? or Hindsight can be 20/20 if you attach a camera to a ww2 shell while performing a self-colonoscopy.

Cheers - Dave

Should not read this stuff while at work ...

Happens all the time.

a reply to: Cymru

Staff should have called the "Bum Squad".

(I'll leave now. Sorry.)

originally posted by: MykeNukem
a reply to: Cymru

Rectum? F'n near killed him.

Did they find any Hot Wheels cars up there?

He can bottle it like Gwyneth Paltrow did and call it Monster Jam.

I might have missed his age when skimming through the article but it's a lucky thing he wasn't a boomer.

I'm a fully paid up South ParQ+MAXPRIME member so, without sounding weird, I've got Mr Slave in my head.
Afterall... We're in the future now so we don't discriminate or stigmatise anyone... Y'know... cause it's the future. We've lost our 'tegridy.

a reply to: Nyiah

a reply to: NinjaCougar

I watched that last night.
Quality

originally posted by: network dude
a reply to: LABTECH767

This was a radio guy on a show I listen to. he has since passed away. an old guy who called himself a curmudgeon. It's even funnier if you knew his style, but even coming in cold, it's pretty damn funny to hear his inability to talk through his laughter.

worth the listen.

The Original is so much better I Really had to laugh at that as well.

Thank you that actually brightened my day.

This sad bastard is going to be the butt of so many jokes.