I can't keep a secret, long time pranks.

Reflecting on JAGStorms "tell me a secret" post I though I would share with you my 12 year prank feud with my mother-in-law.
It started when I was courting my wife. I had a friend that was a camera man for a very popular UK soap opera. Now he used to tell me what was going to happen as the program was filmed 3 or 4 days in advance. Now fast forward, I would be watching the soap down the mother-in-laws and I'd "predict" what would happen. This went on for a few weeks till she found me out.
A couple of months go by and I'm married to her daughter. I must say at this point my failings. I cannot keep a secret from the family, it starts with "look into my eyes and don't laugh" searching questions asked and I can never keep a straight face. Believe me I have no secrets from my wife so all my pranks get found out.
Now back, a couple of months go by and we regularly go to the mother-in-laws for Sunday dinner. I hate roast parsnips, so the MIL shapes a parsnip like a roast potato, my favourite, It looked like a roast potato,. First mouthfull I was nearly sick at the table to the amusement of the family. Pay back. She did this to me a couple of times with months between lulling me into a sense of false security.
Jump a year. I used to go to the MIL house to pick up my wife from work. One day the MIL says she has to go out to the shops. While she was gone a knock on the door and 2 beautiful women stood there, but, the first words they said was "do you believe in Jesus". Oh my, they were godbotherers, Jehovahs Witnesses, So I let them try to convert me then said to them "look I have to go out now but if you come back later I will make a pot of tea and get some cakes and we can have a really good chat". They left, I picked up my wife and left. Next day the MIL was fuming as they had returned and tried to push their way in till she went on a rage and kicked them out. That led a year later to the evil bit.
My father-in-law was on a committee at a local club (they were all in on it) on Saturday a cabaret, my MIL said "come and sit by me" very strange my spidey senses were tingling. The table in front of us was suddenly full of empty glasses, Didn't think anything. The act, a magician, last trick he produces the biggest snake I've ever seen. Now I seriously hate snakes, phobia aint a strong enough word for it. So what happen, he makes a beeline for me. I think he got within 10 foot from me, the table, glasses everything went in the air and I escaped. Major payback.
A year or so later we're on holiday in Malta, we visit the market and end up in a cafe. My MIL buys the drinks, I have a cappuccino, and she says "I've put some extra sprinkles on", we call the chocolate dust sprinkles. I let it cool a bit, takes a big drink and splutters it out to the amusement of all the customers. The taste was vile, so I take it to the counter and they gave me a fresh one all the time laughing. The extra sprinkles was salt. double payback.

NEXT. We used to go to a holiday camp when the kids were young (anyone British will know where I mean) it was great free fairground rides, free swimming pool, free cinema, free cabaret and free stage acts.
Well, at that time my young lad had broke his leg so he was in a wheel chair. We go to the theatre and get ushered to the front. The act at the time was a well known gay comedian and he wanted women volunteers on the stage, so I keep, pointing to my wife, he gets off the stage and pulls he on. So for 15 minutes she's on stage with 4 other women being made fun of. My pay back.
The following year we are back again and we go into a Western themed bar. The compares come off the stage looking for singers. ALL my family volunteer me, I could not get out of it. Now when you're on a stage with 4 other guys in front of 800 odd people taking it in turns to sing a line of home on the range then have to eat a spoonful of cold bake beans. The winner was the one who emptied their can first. These are just a few of the pranks played and I wouldn't swop any of it for the world.

My MIL pranks didn't last very long. My wife thought it would be a gas to get her mother involved in our finances while I was working overseas. One day when I called my wife, the MIL answers and proceeds to give me an earful of how I earn and spend money.

Payback time. When I returned from overseas...I lit her on fire!












(JUST kidding!)