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Things Have Gone Badly

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posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 12:42 PM
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This happened about an hour ago now. Short and safe for work version, I just found out my fiance has been talking to and sending semi nude selfies to someone else. In fact the person she has been getting illicit substances from.

We have been having issues. But as of the night before last I thought things were going well and we were moving forward and dealing with our issues. All I know is she says between then and last night she claims to have come to the conclusion that "she is unhappy" and that's it.

Needless to say I'm a wreck and have no one to talk to. I've gone through my contacts no one is picking up....they are mostly her family sadly. I dont have many friends and due to several reasons not longer speak to my family.

Just needed to get this off my chest. I'm a wreck and we are supposed to talk soon. Shes currently not home. But will be soon( we've owned a home together for 5 years now. Been engaged 3 and together 10 years.)



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 12:46 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999

Vent on here Butty. The worst thing you can do is fester and not talk.
Having been in a similar situation, things will pan out.
Just take a breath.
Good luck.


+3 more 
posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 12:50 PM
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It might not seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. You need to get her out of your life ASAP. No contact, cut her off completely. It will take time, but you will get over her.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:01 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999

The faster you walk away the faster the healing process will begin .

She always on your mind ? Replace old memories with new ones !
Try a new hobby , date new people , go out have fun ...

First few months will be hard . But after you will look back and laugh at your self for giving her so much time and energy !

Hang in there ! You probably dodged a bullet . Women aren't what they used to be . Which is why gentleman are fading ...


+3 more 
posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:01 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999

Sorry to hear this.

If you still want to be with this woman then I suggest you keep your composure and don’t act desperate. That’s the best advice I can offer, if she says she wants to go then let her, then all you have to do is stay strong and act like you don’t care. Pretty soon she will be wondering what you’re up to and be back at the door.

The only person you can control is yourself so don’t even try to change her mind, it won’t work.

Sometimes a little space and some time is all relationships need to heal.

As for her going behind your back, says a lot about her character. I’m going to get absolutely roasted for this but it’s a common theme for women to have another man lined up before they leave the one they’re with. Not all woman ofc but certainly a majority, they’ll stick through unhappiness until there appears to be a better option. Turns out most of the time this so called better option wasn’t all he’s cracked up to be.

My ex wife left me years ago for another guy, about a year later I had moved on and she split up with him. To this day she tries to get back with me and tells me what a mistake she made. Tough luck ya cheating bitch!



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:04 PM
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a reply to: Grenade

We need a like button for such coments



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:11 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999
No desperation.
She F-d up, not you.
Communication is key.
Know when to cut ties.
If you're giving all you can and she's half-assing it, GTFO.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:12 PM
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The only person you can control is yourself.


This quote right here.

And I agree with the not letting go of one branch till their holding on to another as well.

a reply to: Grenade



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:14 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999

Sorry to hear that SwampFox.

But, when things like this happen, I remind people that it was just a matter of time... So sooner is better than later when you're more invested.

If someone has the capacity for this kind of assholery, you don't want them being a cornerstone in your life.

It still sucks, it still hurts, but we have to have bad days for contrast to make the good ones stand out.

In the mean time, make sure you occupy your time. Do so with productive things. Pick only activities that will enrich you or bring positivity. Maybe it's time for a new hobby, or a second job to make a little extra dough.

The one thing I would heavily discourage is self medication. It only delays the inevitable, with baggage attached from the stint.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:18 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999

Well, that sucks!

What is it with women sending nekkid selfies to people??? I just don't get that! I must have been absent from school the day they taught that class. Probably (and thankfully to many, I'm sure) the very last thing I would ever do is to send a nekkid selfie to someone!!!

As for your situation, I can tell you from experience that you will not change her mind. Only she can change her mind. I would, however, point out to her that she might consider thinking over her actions before she goes and does anything silly. You might point out that the house might be a difficult thing to unscramble...especially if you're not married.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:18 PM
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Double trouble.
edit on 10/7/2021 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:19 PM
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a reply to: CriticalStinker

Yes, definitely no wild parties with beer and prostitutes.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:19 PM
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Once you understand why pizza is round, comes in a square box, and is eaten in a triangle, you will begin to understand women.

You gotta put her down man. Split things evenly, and DO NOT give her anything extra. I lost my Model A ford Deuce coup, and hot rod Chevelle being overly nice. Don't be overly nice



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:22 PM
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originally posted by: oweyoueightone2
It might not seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. You need to get her out of your life ASAP. No contact, cut her off completely. It will take time, but you will get over her.

And no better relationship advice will ever be seen on the boards after this.




posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:24 PM
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originally posted by: visitedbythem
I lost my Model A ford Deuce coup, and hot rod Chevelle being overly nice. Don't be overly nice

Ouch!! Who's the dude behind the wheel now?



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:26 PM
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originally posted by: visitedbythem
Once you understand why pizza is round, comes in a square box, and is eaten in a triangle, you will begin to understand women.
...


LOL!! I'm stealing that one!!

That's a perfect analogy!



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:29 PM
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Take a red pill and don't turn into Captain Save-A-Hoe. Don't save her... she don't wanna be saved.




posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:35 PM
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originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk

originally posted by: visitedbythem
Once you understand why pizza is round, comes in a square box, and is eaten in a triangle, you will begin to understand women.
...


LOL!! I'm stealing that one!!

That's a perfect analogy!


Because a square pizza won't fit into a round box... triangle is easier to hold and eat. Unless you in Chicago which cuts their pizza in squares and then require a knife and fork.

Ah screw it...



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:39 PM
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a reply to: SwampFox999
Walk away, don't look back.
Don't listen to any lame ass stories of how it meant nothing, nothing happened, etc.
If you think there was something going on, there was.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Don't invest any more time or money in that relationship.



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 01:42 PM
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Run.
Don't walk..RUN

Let her go with the other guy and then when she realizes her mistake and tries to come back, just laugh, put your arm around your hot new girlfriend and close the door in her face.



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