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On a scale of 1 to 5, how do you rank...?

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posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 06:48 AM
I've tried to tell people, ten thousand times if I've told them once..."Nobody ever looks at this stuff!" "It's only used when the company wants to get rid of you" "Someday you'll realize I was really helping you, not hurting you!!!"

What the heck am I talking about???

Every year (now twice a year) we have to go through an annual review process. We have to rate ourselves, and then our manager rates us...on a scale of 1 to 5. Then each manager has to do the same thing with all their employees. Right up front; I absolutely hate this process! Now, other companies may be different, but the only people who ever see these reviews are HR. The senior managers (like myself) and the rest of the managers are too busy managing all their people and the programs and projects they have to go back and look at this stuff. It's just an administrative requirement so someone over in HR has a job, nothing more. In other words, it's BS. Now before you go getting all mad, allow me to explain.

If you want a promotion, or a different career path, or a raise...come talk to me. I have time for that. I always do. Why would I wait an entire year for you to tell me this on some bogus review paperwork that doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone other than some dork over in HR??? The fact of the matter is, few people in my field want a different career path, and surprisingly even fewer still want promotions or raises. Every year I get a budget for raises. Part of my job is to dole out this budget to employees. I give every employee the maximum raise I can give. (Yes, they're all that good!).

Equally, if you're screwing up, I'm not going to wait a year to tell you this on some bogus review form. I'm going to come find you and tell you right then, and we're going to discuss how to fix whatever the problem is. If someone is going to get canned, I'm going to be the one to do it. If you keep screwing up, I'm going to write you up, and that's going to go into your file. Do it again, and you're gone. HR never even gets involved other than to give them their final check. Again, I'm not going to wait a year to do any of these things.

So, review time rolls around. I tell everyone to score themselves a "3", for everything. They can write a novel in their review if they wish, but no one is ever going to see it. I tell them if they score themselves a "3", then I will score them a "3" also. Incidentally the 1 to 5 scale is basically as you would expect
1 = Significantly below average. Requires significant improvement
2 = Below average. Could improve.
3 = Average. Meets expectations
4 = Above average. Meets or exceeds expectations
5 = Significantly above average = Consistently exceeds expectations.

The only time these HR people will stick their noses into your business (and they have no idea what our business even is) is when there are significant differences between the manager's score and the employee's score across the board. Makes sense, sort of, in some twisted, top-heavy management sort of way...I guess. That is IF these people even understood one iota of what we even do, which they most definitely do NOT! They can't even spell half the words we use on a daily basis. I digress.

So, I had this employee who thought he'd be smart. I warned him, but he didn't listen. Scored himself all 5's across the board. I score him all 3's across the board. True to form, HR sticks their nose in. Employee wants the carrot, but gets the stick from HR instead. OOPS! Tried to warn ya! Now I get ordered to write him up! For what?? He lipped off to HR. Not my problem! I deal with my problems in real-time, not annually. I refuse. They try to write me up. Fine, go ahead! In fact, do it five times, or fifty, I don't care! Fire me now, right this instant, but before you do...just make sure to drop your phone number off at the regional VP's office so he knows who to call when the revenue stops coming in!

But get this!!...

Employee now "gets it". Scores himself all 3's. Well, we did have some performance issues with this guy earlier, I talked to him, and he did an awesome job fixing the issues. So I scored him 3's and 4's in the appropriate areas (not my usual style, but I knew these damn reviews were important to him). Note: if the manager scores the employee higher than the employee scores himself this just gets blown off by HR (further proof of the worthlessness of this whole exercise). So a year goes by. This time the employee scores himself all 4's. We're back to normal now, so I score all 3's. Now he's hacked because I scored him a 4 last time and only a 3 this time, so he thinks he's now doing a bad job. SMH. What part of scoring all 3's don't you get in this stupid process which means nothing????

All of this because some HR person, or group, needs to justify their existence with a bunch of senseless paperwork and bureaucracy.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 07:18 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

The meta information must flow, i suppose.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 07:29 AM
a reply to: andy06shake

That's exactly what it is too!

Just metrics for someone to crunch, someone with nothing else more productive to do. Garbage In = Garbage Out.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 07:38 AM
Self-important bureaucratic BS is correct.

We had one company wanting extensive sales reports every Friday. Included was an excel spreadsheet designed so intricately and detailed you could tell they hadn't ever written an order themselves. Not to mention this info was easily found on orders already placed. In other words, all that you really needed to do was a report on possible leads, orders waiting to be received, and customer comments. All the other info entered was easily found in the computer system.

The thing was this company had over 100 reps there was no way the CEO was reading all of these, nor were the managers, These reports or lack thereof were used when they wanted an excuse to fire you. In other words, you caught heat if you didn't submit one or if it was late, but an excellent in-depth detailed report on a week full of sales garnered nothing rarely even a comment. Mostly just a cursory thanks BS.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 07:45 AM
a reply to: putnam6

Same kind of thing! Just complete nonsense!

We've had so many of these come and go it's laughable.

On a funny note, this past year, because of covid, we've been working remotely quite a bit. Well, we couldn't connect via the secure VPN's to the Oracle databases where this application is hosted. So, we couldn't do the reviews. Contacted numerous IT administrators about the issue. **crickets** Okay, so no reviews then!

No one even noticed!!! LOL!!! Not a single person!!

Lot's of "value" there, huh? /sarcasm

edit on 9/25/2021 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 07:56 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
I think I've seen your procedures on TV

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 08:05 AM
HR is not there for the employees.
How do I know this....unnamed sources of course. 😆
What you go through would make me CRAZY!
So, my rating.
Does it matter in my case since I am no longer considered relevant? 🤔

Looking back to when I was still considered relevant.....5, yes a solid FIVE. IMO of course...

Nice Rant...lifts the 10 overhead to score the OP

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 08:15 AM
a reply to: DISRAELI

OMG! That's funny!!

That is SO true!! The questions are practically identical too! I swear, some robot must write these questions!

What's so funny, is that after 25 years I just leave them blank, and then my "boss" (who's really the same rank as me and a good friend) doesn't have to write anything either. I check a 3 box, he checks a 3 box, we both sign it and we're done. No one has said a word, not a peep, to us in the 15 years we've been doing this. And the worst part is, it's like 20 sections of this same nonsense, over and over again...every year (now every 6 months).

It's just complete BS!!

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 08:21 AM
a reply to: PiratesCut

LOL...and you'd still get a 3 from me.

You'd learn soon enough! I'm going to tell you you're a 5, and I'm going to pay you as a 5, but I'm gonna' score you as a 3 every time. Once you get back from HR, after getting the stick instead of the carrot, you'll score yourself a 3 from then on too!


Seriously though, the "machine" is a robot, and the robot doesn't know how to interpret another robot. When it comes to the "machine", I'm a robot. Screw the "machine"! The "machine" doesn't think, it doesn't care, it doesn't know doesn't want to know you. It can count, and that's all it can do. The "machine" is just a mindless calculator.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 08:43 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Call me a dinosaur.
Despite raises being fairly automatic depending on the companies "point system" having a solid positive annual review from your Boss is important. I could give a rats behind what HR thinks or even does with it.

It's dependent on me to acquire new skills, be a team player with whatever clueless cluck got hired in, and roll with all new implemented policies regardless of their unworkable stupidity.

Having an upwards trend of solid quantifiable improvements noticed and documented by the Boss is money in the bank towards future jobs. Since the company won't do more than acknowledge you were employed there having written documentation of your achievements and lack of any disciplinary issues is all we get.

What HR does with the reports to justify itself is moot.

Rating yourself has always been "hokey" but it does open the door to conversations on aspects of the job you have mastered that flew under the Boss's radar, or to request more training on the parts you're working on. It's usually better to point out your own weaknesses with a "action plan" in place than let a supervisor have to point it out.

Like I said....I'm a dinosaur.

Forgot to add, I was a 3 who's gone to 4's with a couple of 5's tossed in for skills not normal for my job description
achieved. While giving a stellar rating the Boss will add his wish list of what he see's as your next challenge in the comment portion. Something we're pretty sure HR never bothers to look at, but covers his butt since no one is 100%.

edit on 25-9-2021 by Caver78 because: Temp lost plot of OP's question, ROFL!!!

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 08:47 AM
I’m really glad we are playing a game here.
Would you believe me if I told you I knew what you would come back with?
I wonder how many heads your words here fly over.
Maybe I don’t want to know because it would depress me.
Keep doing you!!!!


“off topic so don’t reply, seems my survival vid makes peeps squirm judging by the lack of replies. i get it“

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

edit on 08-19-2021 by PiratesCut because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:01 AM
how a company "scores" performance evaluations depends on the company.

when I was in the military years ago, if you got marked below a 10 in any of the 10 scored areas,
you would not get promoted - you may as well resign and find another line of work - because a board of general officers had a very short time to review thousands of performance evals and the first thing they did was toss all the mark downs.

and honestly, in today's corporate environment, scoring is worthless. It is only used to justify the meager payout of bonuses and stock options . . . maybe annual raises.
they certainly aren't career ending.
and they certainly are worthless for professional development.

there is nothing an employee can screw up in a commercial environment that warrants getting marked down
unless someone gets killed and then they should not be working there - no need for a performance eval.

Personally, if you give me less than top marks, I'll give you my two weeks notice. I wrote it the day you asked me to evaluate myself. I simply do not want to deal with the drama . . . that is all it is . . . manufactured drama designed to hire some liberal arts college grad that does nothing and gets paid more than I do for doing it.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:14 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I go to 11...

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:17 AM
a reply to: Caver78

For a span of about 5 years, I worked for a guy who would tell me the same exact thing every year...

"I have no idea what you and your group do. You could explain it all to me and I still probably wouldn't understand. All I know is every aviation client we ever put you guys in front they rave about you and your teams, and you guys make a higher margin than practically any other division in the company. You fill out the paperwork and I'll sign it; I don't even care what it says."

At first glance, maybe that seems callous and disinterested. Perhaps, but on second glance, isn't that really the yardstick we should all be measured by? Isn't that the review that really counts? My mantra...'Leave me alone, and let me do my job. If I do it well, then reward me. And, if I do it poorly, then send me down the road. I ask for nothing more, and I expect nothing less.'

And the reality is, if I screw up it will probably show up on the news long before any word of mouth will ever reach you, but that's another discussion entirely.

Yes, maybe some of that formality works for a new person, or a junior person in a large organization, but there comes a point where some of that formality is just a waste of time and energy for a very senior person in a massive organization, a giant "machine".

Metrics are fine if you do the same task over and over again; if you're building a car, or a widget. Corporate metrics are worthless when you do something different every day, never even knowing what that will be until you pick up the phone.

Silly robot, metrics are for kids.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:18 AM
a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

**grin** Nope, go to 3.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:27 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I used to have a job where we had to "evaluate" ourselves very similar to what you are talking about. I always just gave myself all 1s and then my boss would say "why did you rate yourself so low?" And seemed to get irritated when I would say "I work for you. My opinion of my own work doesn't matter."

I never understood why they wanted us to evaluate ourselves. Seems pointless like you said.

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:33 AM
a reply to: sraven

Personally, if you give me less than top marks, I'll give you my two weeks notice. I wrote it the day you asked me to evaluate myself. I simply do not want to deal with the drama . . . that is all it is . . . manufactured drama designed to hire some liberal arts college grad that does nothing and gets paid more than I do for doing it.

Well, unless you agree that (3) "meets expectations" is top marks then you'd probably not be employed long, by your own hand. I don't ask that you (5) "Consistently exceed expectations" across the board, and if you do you're probably in the wrong job classification. And, in this organization you would immediately fall into the "Peter Principle", where you will be promoted until you fail, and you will. Someone will see to it. I do, however, demand that you do your job, to 'meet expectations', because people's lives depend on it.

I guess it's a matter of perspective.

ETA - I should have started this response off with...The military is a different story, but this isn't the military (although sometimes it sure seems like it).

edit on 9/25/2021 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:39 AM
a reply to: Chalcedony

Heh, yeah, I used to do this too (way back, many moons ago), but then they changed the way the system works so you couldn't do that anymore. Back then it would force a manager to score you higher than you did. Now they've installed a safety net (for the bureaucrats) where if this happens then a whole bunch of other unnecessary processes get triggered which are both expensive and exquisitely frustrating to the employee (things like recurrent training, monthly or weekly monitoring and reporting, etc.) and the manager. The company saw that one coming from a mile away! They basically said if you pull that you're gonna' pay. But 3's paralyze the bureaucracy, hence the 3's. A 3 is neither negative nor positive; it is neutral. A 3 neuters the "machine".
edit on 9/25/2021 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:49 AM
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I used to have a night shirt that said,wake me when I'm a size 5.
I am giving myself a 5 and I hope you agree!

posted on Sep, 25 2021 @ 09:54 AM
a reply to: mamabeth

Sure, you can have 5's. But ONLY you!

Because...Homey knows where the cookies come from!

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