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The Old Man -LF 2021- non writer

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posted on Sep, 23 2021 @ 03:37 AM
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“You there in the shadows come sit with us by the fire, ah it’s you good good… Now listen closely…”
New to these people and surroundings you can’t help but feel welcome safe and more comfortable than you’ve been for quite some time, maybe more than you ever have been… Perhaps it’s because you know they are like you well at least they are unlike them…
And that’s enough… You sit quickly as close as you can to the old man who’s patiently waiting for you to get settled. As the old man speaks his voice is very unlike his visage his voice is that of a strong man deep yet soothing as his words flow freely it reminds you of waves washing ashore.

As you listen you glance around at the 32 others you couldn’t help but count them it’s the most people you’ve been around in your life… Well what your life is now anyway. Most of them you can barely make out in the warm glow of the firelight and pale moon amidst the dark of night and the long shadows of the forest which feels as though to be holding you all in a gentle embrace.

The old mans wisdom is undeniable as you learn the secrets, truths, the facts as it were. The very history the reason behind the madness which has plagued your existence since you watched you family taken from your home. Your mind flashes to the horrific images of your family beaten in front of you as they were removed from your life and put onto the trucks with so many others whom you could also hear along with your mother your best friend who was staying the night and two sisters. The wails ands screams those cries of lament filled the air and your very souls with the full terror of each and every one of them. But you couldn’t hear your Dad anymore even the gurgling of his blood filled lungs had stopped his eyes now cold and unfamiliar all the bright beautiful blue was gone instead only two deep black pools remained fixated upon you hiding under the China cabinet a tight fit even for you.

It had never made sense how you were not found or looked for better until just now, as the old man spoke of the coloured stickers on the mailboxes or door. You remember them they had mysteriously appeared only days before everyone was removed from their homes. They were used to determine the number of people which lived there and what was to be done with them. And that’s about all you can remember back to as far as anything close to what was normal to you.

Since then it was one empty home after another as you went from home to home searching for any sign of life gathering food or whatever you could carry that seemed to be useful or entertaining. Eventually you found a secret room with stairs leading down to a large round metal door that closed behind you after pushing on a large red button on the wall which in childish curiosity you just had to press causing that enormous door to close all to quickly sealing you inside for what you now realize has been over 8 years as the year is now 2029. The only good things from those days were those nice packages of food which reminded you of presents every time you opened one. The wall full of movies the weights that comfy couch and those magazines with all the naked ladies you seemed to grow fonder of them with every year that passed…

Much to your surprise after long ago giving up all hope of ever being able to open that door, it opened all on its own.But if you would have known all those years what was going on ,you would have been wishing for the door to stay closed forever or until all that food was gone. which even after all that time hardly seemed to have put a dent in the enormity of the supply. To have stayed there and not seen what had become of people during your time alone would have been just fine with you. Much better than the horrific visions that filled your mind while awake or in dreams.

You hear now the reason behind the abominations Covid 19 you remember somethings about how it had affected you no school you thought that was cool but those masks not being with friends stuck inside far less fast food. Grandma dying from it was the worst you could remember, and you always wondered what all the fuss about the vaccines was about. Until now that is for the old man is learning you about how the rna and the endless mandatory booster shots in time began to change people. It had the power to rewrite genetic code and that’s exactly what it did. All manor of changes happened and people became part this and part that but were never again fully human chimera he called them.

A few years after that people or these chimera now also became part machine as most also had what he called chips installed in their brains gifts of Elon and his Beast known to them as the voice of God. “Blasphemy!” Spitting in the fire as his face and eyes twisted momentarily before he continued and you learned this beast was the epitome of artificial intelligence which controlled almost everyone and every thing through these chips which he called neuralink.

As the darkness gave way to a bright blueish light and you wondered at what this light was which had started only weeks ago once more the old man answered without need of question… “Apophis is burning brighter each day” his words that name lingered in your mind for some reason, that name Apophis seeming somehow familiar… Then to your shock you feel as though you are falling back into a vast empty expanse as he informs all that by his calculations it is exactly 7 days 16 hours and a few mins away from impacting Earth. Which he claims will be a global killer. Very little to no life will be left…

As your mind races in torment and you wonder how quick you could make it back to that shelter would there be enough time to get there? How many of these people could you bring and fit in there… Time seems to slip away and you are alone with your thoughts you feel that sickening torment gnawing at your mind and soul again and you struggle to hold onto your sanity. Is this to be the complete and utter fall of mankind? You almost jump out of your skin as you feel a hand on your shoulder but the touch also instantly helps calm you…

The old man bends low and whispers in your ear
“Take heart, I’ve always had a plan for you…”
“All I ask is that you have a little faith in me…”
edit on 23-9-2021 by 5StarOracle because: Word



posted on Sep, 23 2021 @ 05:14 AM
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a reply to: 5StarOracle

S&F



posted on Sep, 28 2021 @ 03:33 PM
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Wow! The twists and turns as I tried to read and also figure out where and when you were going. I like the second person perspective ---- it's chilling, like someone reading a book of your life to you. I really enjoyed your story, and especially the twist at the end.

Your writing is visceral and direct. Reminds me somewhat of Cormac McCarthy, whom I love for his unadorned frankness. Well done!


a reply to: 5StarOracle



posted on Sep, 28 2021 @ 08:15 PM
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Just when I think I've found my favorite I read another and like it more .

The line up of stories this go around is top notch .

I must say yours is one of the best Star and Flag.



posted on Sep, 28 2021 @ 08:43 PM
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a reply to: argentus

I wondered if it would be difficult to follow, I tried to make it be about everyone or anyone but more importantly have it actually be about The Old Man…
Was a good way to get tired enough for sleep…
edit on 28-9-2021 by 5StarOracle because: Word



posted on Sep, 28 2021 @ 08:46 PM
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a reply to: asabuvsobelow

Thanks for the kind words



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 05:09 AM
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a reply to: 5StarOracle

A well written, interesting and engaging story.

My only suggestion would be a focus on punctuation. A slight change in the punctuation would make the piece easier to read but that is of course only my opinion. It doesn't detract from the story and that is good.

All-in-all, a solid story, and once again well written. Well done!

S&F for you.



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 05:23 AM
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a reply to: Kreeate

If only you knew how often I lose connection to ATS on my phone, how often pages don’t load or how hard it is to edit even one word in a post…
Never mind the fact I never really liked punctuation…
In fact I find a lot of punctuation to have the opposite effect it’s supposed to have…

Curious though…

Whom do you suppose The Old Man is?

Also curious as to why you said you starred and flagged… but never actually did…


edit on 1-10-2021 by 5StarOracle because: Word



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 05:39 AM
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originally posted by: 5StarOracle
a reply to: Kreeate

If only you knew how often I lose connection to ATS on my phone, how often pages don’t load or how hard it is to edit even one word in a post…
Never mind the fact I never really liked punctuation…
In fact I find a lot of punctuation to have the opposite effect it’s supposed to have…

Curious though…

Whom do you suppose The Old Man is?

Also curious as to why you said you starred and flagged… but never actually did…



I can absolutely understand that punctuation could be problematic via phone or tablet. It's downright frustrating sometimes.

Your preference of using, or not using punctuation is of course your own. Do keep in mind though that writers write to an audience, and that particular audience may have a preference towards punctuation. I know, this is not a publishing house. Just my two cents. Take it as you will.

From what I can read into the story, to me at least, the Old Man is in fact God. Or at least some iteration or representation of God. Because in whom else shall we have Faith?

I did star and flag. Reasons are my own.


edit on 1-10-2021 by Kreeate because: typo



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 05:50 AM
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a reply to: Kreeate

“Some iteration or representation of God”…
How profound…
An interesting little ride I’ve taken you on tonight…
No?

edit on 1-10-2021 by 5StarOracle because: Word



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 06:42 AM
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originally posted by: 5StarOracle
a reply to: Kreeate

“Some iteration or representation of God”…
How profound…
An interesting little ride I’ve taken you on tonight…
No?


You are clearly only out to provoke and entice. I have no interest in that. These sections are sacred to me.
Want to sling mud and argue? Go post in the Mudpit.

I gave you my honest and heartfelt opinion on your writing. I was positive and gave constructive feedback.
That is what we are supposed to do here. I will not engage with you any further because you are confrontational and argumentative.

Good day to you.



posted on Oct, 1 2021 @ 07:08 AM
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a reply to: Kreeate

Spare me your self serving tripe
I know you well
I see right through you



posted on Oct, 7 2021 @ 11:55 AM
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a reply to: 5StarOracle

I really enjoyed that. Thank you.

But don't go back down to the bunker! It's going to get flooded. Get to the top of the highest mountain you can...quick! hurry up!



posted on Oct, 9 2021 @ 06:32 AM
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a reply to: merkins

Thank You…

The Old Man suggests we relax and enjoy some more stories, perhaps roast up some hot dogs…
Raising an eyebrow stealing a glance up to the sky you see whats coming…
He chuckles and waves us back over and somehow that sounds like exactly what to do…




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