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I Am A Celibate

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posted on Sep, 18 2021 @ 10:57 PM
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First of all, I would like to thank Member robsmith for his excellent thread that, strangely enough, inspired this one. I thought that this would be an interesting topic amongst some. I know that those who know me find my embracing of celibacy to be odd to their minds, very distant from their perceptions and reality. I'm starting this thread to simply discuss the topic openly, hopefully get some opinions or stories from others and answer any questions that are asked (seriously, I have no shame and don't mind discussing this subject at all...otherwise I wouldn't have begun this thread I suppose). So let's begin...

I am what I call a true celibate. That means that I have, honestly, through years of prayer and fasting, removed myself not only from the act of sex, but from the desire thereof...completely. I am 46, financially independent, an accomplished musician and considered very handsome (though I would say much more ruggedly so now). I say those things to simply say that I am not societally ousted from sex. I could engage in such activity if I chose, but I genuinely do not wish to. I've been a drinker pretty much my whole life, and it has caused problems. Subsequently, I have logged my time in the halls of AA. There is a saying (one of many) in AA...dry drunk. AA is an agnostic program that is designed to lead the participant to a spiritual awakening (with the higher power of their own understanding) in order to fill the void inside of that person that they had previously satiated with alcohol. A dry drunk achieves the end of cessation from drink, but never finds the spirit of replacement. Hence, they are typically known as angry, grumpy people (that's what that name infers). A dry drunk still wants to drink, but they use will and discipline to keep them from it, and thereby find no release or joy in their sobriety. This is a metaphor for the celibate who simply withholds sex from their life without finding their way through to the prerequisite over-coming of the desire.

Celibacy (true celibacy) is the greatest achievement of my life. It has opened up my life in ways I never could have possibly imagined. First of all, it has obviously altered drastically my dynamic with women. Make no mistake, I have not always been a celibate, in fact I was quite the opposite for a long time. I think one reason I'm so comfortable with my celibacy now is that I was able to partake in more sex throughout my life than any man should probably ever deserve. But that monster morphed inside of me until there was something there that I simply hated. I could no longer see women as people, humans, someones mother, someones sister...no, they were all just objects of sex. I look back at that viewpoint and shudder.

Now, however, I can see the other side of that, and that is a beautiful gift of celibacy. I hold beautiful and deep conversations with women because, and believe me, they know whether your talking with them honestly or with an agenda. Lifetimes of experience over generations have made it so. Also, as an almost ironic result, women truly love me. I think I'm just cute to them now, but that's great. I love women, and finding myself in welcome and loving grace with them is a gift.

Also, celibacy has been a powerful tool for me to take my power back. I'm going to tell you a little secret. Don't tell anyone, because nobody knows about this, and I wouldn't want it getting out. Ok, here goes. Women use sex as a weapon. Whaaaaat? Did I say that? Was that out loud!? Ok, yes, it's true. Women move men around like pieces on a board and believe me when I say that it is sex that gives them that power (begin the flaming now if need be, but I'm not backing down on that one...it's simply true). Having removed myself from any want or need for sexual relations I am no longer influenced by such things. Make no mistake, I am in NO way denigrating women whom I love and respect with all my heart. Neither am I in any way saying that women are not powerful of their own volition...that would be ridiculous. I am simply saying that many women in this world know how to get a man to eat an apple.

I've always felt very much like Paul. Paul was an avowed celibate. Some even say that it was his preaching of celibacy that caused his murder (women who were following his teachings apparently began to embrace celibacy and this did not sit well with the men). Makes sense. Paul did say, however, I would rather that you were like me (a celibate), but if you cannot be then marry. Also makes sense.

I have no idea what any of your typically smart and smart assed minds are thinking about this thread, but it was fun writing it and hopefully might spark some interest in a subject not often discussed. I am not advocating this as a life-style for any except those who would want it. Sex is a natural and beautiful part of life. If it weren't for it, I wouldn't be here to type this. For me, this life-style works, and that's all that matters...

Peace...



posted on Sep, 18 2021 @ 11:16 PM
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I had too many girlfriends before my marriage, I goofed up after my divorce, thinking that it would bring her back, and also because I was so lonely. Im getting hit on right now bigtime. Im celebrate too. Probably 9 years. Nothing wrong with that. Im tempted, but standing strong so far. Even if I fall, Christ has already provided forgiveness. Im standing so far

your going to be ok, Your heart is in the right place



posted on Sep, 18 2021 @ 11:19 PM
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Everyone that is single should be celibate according to the Bible. And if you are married you are commanded to take care of your mate's sexual desires and needs. Unfortunately this world is filled with sexual immorality, any form of sex act outside the holy bond of matrimony between a man and a woman. How sad it must make God to see humankind abuse the wonderful gift of sex the way they do. And how happy it must make the opposer of humankind, Satan the Devil. God's patience is indeed great.

I know many Christians who remain celibate if they do not marry. You are not alone. Of course even Paul said it is a gift that not all have.
edit on 18-9-2021 by QFlux because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 18 2021 @ 11:27 PM
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just remember man has a fourty day cycle. Mosses explains it about living im the desert



posted on Sep, 18 2021 @ 11:52 PM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

Peace to you as well.

Have you achieved this goal all on your own, or have you studied writings that help with guidance in achieving it?

How long have you been celibate? How log did you abstain before reaching your goal of being as you now are.

Do you think you will ever have sex again?

Are you involved with some kind of religious group? I know that there are cults that demand celibacy for members for a period of time. The Moonies insist on celibacy until their leaders pick them a spouse.


+1 more 
posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 12:50 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

I honestly thought both you and visitedbythem were both middle aged women……….



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 12:57 AM
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It took me years to do but I no longer have much interest in sex. I eliminated foods that stimulated sexual desire and I could have it if I wanted to but no longer crave it. We are conditioned to think it is necessary by society and they want us to believe we need medicines or supplements to be obsessed with it again. It is easier for the government and health industry to control us if we think we are inferior because we do not have sex drive controlling our lives. Sure, I was older when I did this, and I thought I had to do it to satisfy my wife yet, but talking with her she admitted she had lost interest too. We gave up lots of the food chemistry that makes you horny. Food chemistry they tout as being great because it promotes sex drive. I am tired of being convinced I need viagra to be acceptable. Sure sex is fun, but not a necessity of life.

I hear some guys still hooked on sex in their sixties and talking about the girls being so pretty because they have a full rack. I now do not even notice them anymore, but kind of do notice the guys hanging around them acting like horndogs. There is nothing wrong with not having a desire for sex, I was reading articles about monks and their diets and decided to try if I could lower my drive, it worked. My testosterone level is not low, but I am not driven by testosterone anymore mentally.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 01:02 AM
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i don't think i could do that.

I love sex. i love women. I don't see them as sex objects or things to be conquered. I do see women try to manipulate men with sex though.

Also i don't think "god" gives a # who you have sex with or what you do. Being raised a christian i came to an understanding early on in my life that Christianity and most religions are actually satanic and want to deny pleasure to its followers as well as manipulate the masses to have babies in their religion to help it grow faster.

Sex is human nature. To deny human nature is to halt your spiritual growth. There are amazing spiritual experiences and states of mind you can attain with a partner if you know how to meditate and open your souls to each other. Religion aims to crush anything spiritual so it makes sense that they would demonize sex and make the followers miss out on one of the most important experiences you can have as a human.

Embracing your sexuality is an extremely important part of spiritual growth in my opinion and experience. Suppressing sex because of religious beliefs creates fear which is the opposite of love.

If you're doing it for personal reasons i can respect that. I understand it can be beneficial. It's the people who act like they know what God wants that really piss me off. Keep that fear mongering love hating ignorant BS to yourself.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 01:54 AM
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originally posted by: QFlux
Everyone that is single should be celibate according to the Bible. And if you are married you are commanded to take care of your mate's sexual desires and needs. Unfortunately this world is filled with sexual immorality, any form of sex act outside the holy bond of matrimony between a man and a woman. How sad it must make God to see humankind abuse the wonderful gift of sex the way they do. And how happy it must make the opposer of humankind, Satan the Devil. God's patience is indeed great.

I know many Christians who remain celibate if they do not marry. You are not alone. Of course even Paul said it is a gift that not all have.


Really?

Tell that to the priests



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 03:20 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

because of the unanimous consensus of the 4 billion other men who live here so the *BEEP* am I.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 03:30 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

AA is an agnostic program that is designed to lead the participant to a spiritual awakening (with the higher power of their own understanding) in order to fill the void inside of that person that they had previously satiated with alcohol.

I would love to introduce you to Paul Hedderman after reading what you wrote......I am sure you will appreciate him and what he has to offer.

Spiritual Awakening and the 12 Steps:


edit on 19-9-2021 by Itisnowagain because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 04:05 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

I have always found the thought of celibacy interesting, to rid yourselves from these impulses, Have always wanted to go live in a monastery in some mountain or something, and just meditate and focus on yourself.

Maybe someday.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 04:27 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

I don't really care what adults choose to do - or not choose to do.
Providing its consensual who really cares what other people do?

And if there is some sort of all knowing, all powerful, omniscient being I very much doubt he concerns himself with the sex lives of us mere mortals.

I know this doesn't include you but far too many people seek to impose their morals and beliefs on others.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 04:37 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf


I’m celibate. It’s been about 10 years now. I was not going to bring anyone around while raising my son. Not to mention, I have been incredibly busy.

My sons older now, but I’m happy without all the bullsh#t and drama. I also don’t want to catch anything. People are hoes these days. No thanks!

Plus COVID - Ewww!



edit on 19-9-2021 by KTemplar because: Autocorrect changes words that ruin sentences



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 04:45 AM
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originally posted by: XipeTotex
a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

Have always wanted to go live in a monastery in some mountain or something, and just meditate and focus on yourself.


If you go to a mountain, see and hear, smell and feel.

Leave your self behind.......because it is the unexamined belief in a 'self within' that destroys the harmony.
"Adi Da Samraj: “There Is No Self Within”, 1973"



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 06:52 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

Yeah, I'm celibate too but for very different reasons. I just like flying solo.


a reply to: Freeborn

who really cares what other people do?


Pretty much everyone I meet. I feel the weight of societal pressure everywhere I go. Soon as they find out I'm unmarried with no kids they might as well paint a cross on my forehead and shout 'Unclean!'

It's always a WTF? kind of response.

So, yeah, people care waaay too much what other people do.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 07:34 AM
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a reply to: TheMirrorSelf

If there's one thing I've learned it is that with different phases of life different lifestyles work best.
You need to be older to truely know what it means to be young.
It's like 2D man in a 3D world, you know what it feels to be young but you're completely unaware of this extra dimension.
It's only natural to explore life with less self awareness at a younger age. Experience and growth in relations is a prime example of that.

I've had a few good relations, even dated above my league. I can't say I've ever had a one-night stand, I find it uncomfortable and undesirable to have intimate relations with someone I hardly know. Each intimate relation I had was with women I dated for longer periods. And in all those relations I found that knowing eachother longer resulted in better sex. It also helped to know their mindset. Men can just flick a switch when it comes to sex, most women I've known not so much. It's a race you don't want to finish first. I think women can use sex as weapon, but only if you chose to be on the frontline.

Maybe it's also because I never had sex with so many women it started to feel like work. I can still get very excited of the prospect of being intimate with someone I fancy. Not that it needs to happen, it usually doesnt.
I've never experienced with celibacy, it's something only done by clergy for me. It's purpose is to take away the distraction it brings to their dedication.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 07:59 AM
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No wonder you are so prolific writing posts and threads...

Too each their own, I guess.

I have done life both ways over the years, I prefer sex-filled instead of celibate, every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

While I also see being celibate could lead to more esoteric pursuits, that common sexual release and partnership are also needed beyond its procreational aspects.

That said in today's stressful world I would think our need for sexual partnership intimacy and release might even be more important than ever before


edit on 19-9-2021 by putnam6 because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 08:18 AM
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30 years. Beat that, ahem, no pun intended!

but then I'm not someone who interacts with people on a social level on purpose. Not in real life, anyway. I have no desire to take any ol' opportunity to do it, never have.

And never met anyone on a connection level that would have felt right to spend a night with.

I'm ok with it. never understood why it was so important anyway, there is always mrs palemer or your female equivalent should that need hastened to be met. And really, every time I hear about people with active sex lives, it's always about them, and not much more, so it might as well just be VR and some kleenex.



posted on Sep, 19 2021 @ 08:25 AM
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Uncontrolled sexual impulse is the most destructive force on the planet imo.

Sexual energy sublimation and abstinence is perhaps the most important key to mastering self and getting closer to God.

Everyone should do it. At least intermittently.

I'm on day 32 right now. I've been practicing on and off for about 2 years now. Difficult as I have a sexy wife who is always walking around the apartment naked. But she has learned temperance as well.

A technique I discovered to tame the dragon is to keep your pc muscles clenched, focus your Chi at your tailbone for a while and then direct it up your spine.

Its a lifesaver when my Wife walks by en cuero after showering, lol




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