The Fear of Being Wrong (Or The Addiction To Being Right) Is Annoying AF

Okay, I will make this as polite as possible--more of a conversation--even though it's in the rant section where the icon is someone screaming in anger (lest it get deleted). And I certainly won't reference any previous instances of this, as that has gotten one of my rants deleted before as well.

Let me start with a positive statement: It's okay to be wrong.

Yes, being wrong happens to us all*, and not a single one of us knows everything. That's perfectly fine, and an accepted part of being human by most people. It should be embraced and used as a tool--a motivator--to research and learn and expand our understanding of things in our world.

I have been wrong uncountable times in my life, and I still get the proverbial "it" wrong now and will in the future. But I try to learn from it; I try to research topics before I opine on them; I try to communicate with purposeful intent so that things can't get misconstrued (but they still often do, mostly at the fault of the reader).

That parenthetical point is from where my rant originates. I have recently fallen into the trap of arguing with people on here who, intentionally or not, misrepresent or lie about what I say and then argue against me based on their interpretation of what was said. When I explain that they are arguing against something that I did not say, even quoting myself directly to support my point, there is nearly a universal refusal to accept that they were wrong. And then, they often double-down on their argument or begin moving the goalposts in order to make their original response sound correct or appropriate (and sometimes add a dose of ad-hominem attack in there for good measure).

• Is this simply a fear of being wrong?
• Maybe an addiction to having to be right all of the time?
• Is it unhealthy hubris?
• Is it just simply unintentional trolling...or passive-aggressive intentional trolling?
• Maybe just a case of poorly reading between the lines?
• Anger at getting called out on a public forum?

I don't really have an answer nor a solution, but it is absolutely annoying AF. I definitely acknowledge that I should probably employ the mentality of assessing if someone is worth arguing with before I hit the "post" button, but the thing is that it even happens with well-known members who I don't think act this way. And, unfortunately, I can't predict who will act this way and who will not.

I know that a lot of people deal with this and I'm not alone at all, but dammit, why do people have to suck the enjoyment out of threads and this site sometimes acting this way?

* I know that I'm not always immune to this, but I sure hope and believe that I do not do this so often that people think of me as being "that guy." Maybe I'm wrong...

Maybe you should just trust the science bro.
Jk
Great rant

I have one of those post-it notes on the top of my monitor.
It has one word written on it.

"Darwin"

It is there to remind me that,
in the end,
Darwin will sort it out.

until then, enjoy the popcorn

I have one of those post-it notes on the top of my monitor.
It has one word written on it.

"Darwin"

It is there to remind me that,
in the end,
Darwin will sort it out.

until then, enjoy the popcorn

I've only been wrong twice in my life. One time I thought I was wrong...but I was mistaken.



Seriously though, if you're never wrong, you're never learning.

a reply to: sraven

My problem is that I have "the heart of a teacher," and that means that I am cursed with wanting to share things that I know or discover. Some people just don't have the heart of a good communicator, I suppose, and that's where it gets hard for me to quit sharing or defending things that I know are valid.

It's a curse, and my rant won't change anything, but it's just getting so old.

The problem is that everyone believes they are right, no matter what, in a very polarized society.

a reply to: LordAhriman

This is true, but what 'gets my goat' (is that a saying?) is when linked and quoted data--or even my own quotes of what I actually said--gets ignored outright without any explanation, and then gets argued against anyhow without much backing up the argument.

It's just frustrating, and I wish that both logic and debate classes were mandatory learning before graduating high school. Too many people lack the appropriate skills necessary to have a rational debate about things anymore.

a reply to: LordAhriman

Case in point about wanting to learn...now I know the origin of "what get's my goat."

a reply to: SlapMonkey

I'm never right.

a reply to: SlapMonkey

Here is the problem. The very thing you hate could cause everyone in this thread to completely agree with you.

However, what if some or possibly all (myself included) are only agreeing with you because they fear being wrong (sub-consciously) and justify it by being so in denial that they tell themselves to agree with it because it is correct.

Or maybe I am just overthinking it too much?

Anyways, I myself enjoyed the rant, made me think and agree 100% with you as well

Beliefs are fragile things. Often ingrained from trusted sources of information be that government, media, science and/or religion. If for example, you question a persons belief about 911, you are actually asking them to question their trusted sources (government and media). If you prove that their trusted sources are questionable. That person has to subconciously re-index a life times worth of beliefs that were once thought true. That in itself can cause a mental breakdown until the subconcious has accomplished that task. So majority will become irrationally defensive, even abusive, to maintain stability of their belief system when it is threatened. Much safer to drop seeds rather than rip someones mind apart.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: SlapMonkey

I'm never right.

Well, you are correct about that, sooo...we're in a pickle.

a reply to: XXXN3O

There is no spoon.

originally posted by: SlapMonkey

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: SlapMonkey

I'm never right.

Well, you are correct about that, sooo...we're in a pickle.

Wait, what?

a reply to: glend

Yeah, that is a very valid point, but I don't see it as an excuse for the behavior. We can all look to the left and right of these threads and see "DENY IGNORANCE" in massively bold letters (well, I do on my iMac, anyhow...don't know about on phones). This type of behavior goes directly against the goal of this site and what it should be standing for.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for the censoring of these people or anything (it just dawned on my that it could sound like I might be calling for that), I just don't fully understand that type of behavior, especially when it comes to something that I wrote, and the people misstated and misrepresented what I said, then I quote it for them and explain that's not what I said, and they continue with their line of arguing.

It seems like a certain level of insanity to me, and I know that it's hard to rationalize such a thing, so that's why I just did a rather open-ended rant with what should be read as hypothetical questions.

I agree with your points, though, but I'm not even talking about topics that are that dramatic, for the most part. Good insight, though, so thanks for the reply.

a reply to: SlapMonkey

Myself, I don't flap my pie hole unless I'm positive of my facts. Even then, when I'm wrong, I'm still right.

I'm always right. It's the facts that are always wrong.

I'm also feeling very leftist today.

a reply to: SlapMonkey

This is a information age...
Its a information war since 9/11 .

Truth doesn't matter

Its about who can scream the loudest.

You repeat a lie long enough it will become "truth" to the masses.

You are trying to use Reason and Logic to understand the enemy .

But the other side is patients in the mental insitution , escaped and now with a mega phone.

Reason and logic is invalid in these times. You have to play their game and beat them with their own ignorance and stupidity ... Yes i'm talking about you"Liberals" and leftists

a reply to: seedofchucky

Unfortunately, it's not only one side of the political spectrum. It's an individual problem, from what I can understand of it, not a party problem.

But, I refuse to "play their game," and maybe that's character flaw in me, but I just have higher communication standards than that. I'll walk away before I stoop to such levels.