I could use friendly advice.

a reply to: putnam6

So you understand. Some of us need to live alone. Not be alone, but have a home with no one else there. To me, this is freedom.

Tried roomies, tried live-in girlfriends....it's not for me.

a reply to: dug88

"Kick them out. I've kicked people out for less. I wrote a thread about it i think several years ago.

Kick them out, you think you're helping but you're enabling."


I'll look for that thread, I'm played on current events.

And yeah I see how I ended up enabling instead of helping.

I use to be a good judge of character, I could pick up vibes from people. Fifteen seconds was all I needed. But that was when I experienced deja vu frequently. Don't remember the last time I did. My guess is I'm on the wrong path. Or I somehow corrupted my inner self. I don't freaking know. I just don't enjoy anything anymore and I hate being alone but I want to be alone.

Hotlines just don't cut the mustard.

a reply to: rickymouse


You are correct, the rent would go up for each one. $175/head I believe.

It was supposed to be temporary anyway. But then she started saying how we were going to celebrate the 4th and other stuff and I got stuck and couldn't respond and I'm a punk, basically.

a reply to: EdisonintheFM

My post might seem harsh. But i've been through it a few times. You can help, but if the person isn't helping themself, stop. It won't change. You can only help somebody so far. If it comes to the point where you're feeling stressed and #'s not changing, you need to stop before things get all kinda #ed.

Especially people who'd rather get high than help themselves. If your help won't stop it, if they won't make effort, just don't. They will live like that perpetually if given the chance and will make every single excuse in every book. They will guilt you, threaten you, try to blackmail you every kind of manipulative bull# you can think of.

It's not your fault whatever they say or however you feel and whatever happens as a consequence is also not your fault. It's their life. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own lives and choices at some point.

a reply to: dug88

I hear what you're saying. I agree. It's easier said than done sometimes.

I've always been worried of other people's reactions. To anything. Can't shake that no matter how much I try.

The other guy I kicked out...was here 2 1/2 months, kicked him out about six or seven times but would let him back. Why? I missed his company, but it proved to be too much and two nights ago I kicked him to the curb. And I freaking miss him, wtf.

I don't see where it's your problem. Move. Don't invite them with you.

If I ever found myself on those kinds of hard times, I know that there are people who'd be there to help me out. This is true because:

1. I have helped others in the past.
2. I am know to be a hard worker and to fend for myself whenever possible.
3. I make myself useful when I'm around. People appreciate the fact that I am handy and will do stuff - useful, positive stuff without being asked.
4. I have family that loves and respects me and would help me out.

I always wonder why it is that people like those "guests" of yours have nobody to turn to. Well, I don't wonder; I know why.

Just move, dude. Don't get your knickers in a wad. They are clearly where they are due to some really crappy life decisions and it's ... Get ready for this news flash ...

NOT YOUR FAULT, NOT YOUR PROBLEM!

Walk away and stop taking in strays. The end.

And good luck.

ETA. If you have to have a roommate, do a background check, create a contract lease and make sure they have a stable job with stable income. You dont need to take in strays for karma points. Go volunteer somewhere if you are feeling the need to 'helping others'. Expect more of people. Raise your standards way higher. Find better friends.

a reply to: shaemac

I can see that. I was cooking at the shelter that helped me. But it's under new ownership, so to speak, and my services were no longer needed.

I have this mentality of repayment that I want to satisfy, plus it really does feel good to help people. That's why I always loved cooking jobs, I felt like I was creating smiles with full bellies.

a reply to: incoserv
You're right. I see what their habits and life choices are, but I thought I could make a difference. But like it's been said, I enabled them to continue with their vices and fed their carefree mindset.

a reply to: EdisonintheFM
Honestly, if the place is that bad. You don't owe rent. Most cities have laws in place to protect renters.. if a house is unsafe structurally, by law they can't charge rent.

Second, your either gonna tell them they have to move out or not. She cries she cries, he bitches he bitches. Be like I don't want drugs and alcohol around me. If they have an issue with it, call the police. They are not on your lease right? If they aren't on your lease they will be trespassing if you kick them out.

If they are well, sucks to be you. Move and don't tell em where you are going.

a reply to: EdisonintheFM


Ummm…let me give you some of that friendly advice your reaching out for…

“Nice guys finish last”…

‘Compassion kills”…and empathy is an excuse for the inner victim to get him some…


Stop with the beta cuck crap and grow a pair…for effs sake…your a member of the apex predator species on this freaking rock…start acting like it…







YouSir

originally posted by: EdisonintheFM
a reply to: shaemac

I can see that. I was cooking at the shelter that helped me. But it's under new ownership, so to speak, and my services were no longer needed.

I have this mentality of repayment that I want to satisfy, plus it really does feel good to help people. That's why I always loved cooking jobs, I felt like I was creating smiles with full bellies.

Ummm…there’s your problem…right there…

Your living under a self imposed emo umbrella…addicted to the feels that faux compassion engenders…it’s all about that endorphin rush…

You’ve merely replaced your former addictions with your current ones…


Now…that’s real compassion…what I’ve just illustrated…

I cared enough to show you the underbelly…the truth that lies beneath that heap of justification you’ve chosen to exist as…

You…the decider…chooses…


Nuff said…?





YouSir

I've given rooms to the down and out much of my life. I've never really had your problem. Depending on your state laws, squatter/renter/roommate rights could come up, but if you're selling the property I'm not sure how that works for them. You could politely ask them to go on their merry way. Maybe even suggest a motel if you wanna sling the coin to get them out long enough to avoid housing law issues.

Again, it's state by state. So it's hard to judge.

Are you armed? Kicking them straight out isn't legal, but if you fear repercussion, defending yourself is, after however long you have to evict.

Good luck. Its always tough to see a good Samaritan get screwed over by opportunists.

a reply to: EdisonintheFM

All roomates are assholes and if you dont think so its only because you have not found out for yourself yet. Dont make your life decisions based on squatters in your home.

Florida apartments? Trees live in Texas.

a reply to: BlackArrow

I'm looking into that. City inspector should be dropping by this week.

What I can't figure out is why doesn't the city inspect rentals on a regular basis. I had to install GFIs in kitchens and bathrooms when I renovated rentals, but this apartment complex has none.

a reply to: YouSir

LOL.

Tough love, I need it.

Everything you say I'm in full concordance.

a reply to: drewlander

I've had a few over the years that were great roommates. But overall it's been unpleasant.

Living with girlfriends is the worse, in my case.

a reply to: sine.nomine

As long as it's under 30 days and they get no mail here I can boot them.

But it is the angry retribution or revenge that I worry about.

a reply to: YouSir


Point taken.

Thank you.