If you are a half old man, why do you care?
Guess what? In a few years you will have no friends at all.
Your old pals will die or disappear and all your new friends will be half your age.
It's ok though, 'cause your young friends will help you with your chores and make sure nobody messes with you.
Wait... Did you once say you are gay?
Nevermind. I got nothing.
I never declared no war, but now I'm not invited to parties.
Meanwhile she's borderline and gets violent.
No but don't invite Halfoldman to parties anymore, because she will get violent, and when she tries to scratch his face off, and he defends himself
and rips her head off - you know, we don't want # at our house.
... "Ghosting" or the "silent treatment" is a form of abuse. ...
How about a different perspective? It's not "abuse." That is poor-me victim language. It grants power to others. Stop it!
By just calling it abuse you are granting it power over you.
It's not "abuse". It's simply someone being an arse hole. I have no place in my life for such people. And I won't allow such to have control
over me. They can't abuse me.
One cannot effectively "ghost back " One must simply exclude arse holes from one's life, refuse to allow them power.
"Ghosting back" draws you into their game. It is you allowing them to make you a victim, to abuse you. It means that they have succeeded
in manipulating you into subjecting yourself to their paradigm. You are reacting, therefore they are in control. Your are validating their
This very post that you wrote proves that you are allowing this person to have power over your life. You are validating their behavior. You are
feeding the beast
Don't "ghost back." Just realize that the individual is a P.O.S., walk away, be grateful they are no longer in your life and get on with the
business of living.
originally posted by: CJCrawley
So, being ignored by a friend has now got an official diagnosis. Narcissistic Ghosting.
I remember how simple life was before the internet.
I remember how simple life was before [nearly] everybody became a whiny-ass, poor-me, victimized cry-baby who has to blame everyone else for their own
issues. I remember when people used to, by and large, take responsibility for their own lives, attitudes, issues, and we're willing to get on with
life without playing the victim card.
Now the universe is expected to hand out participation trophies to everyone who has a pulse and people get their knickers all wadded up when that
Just to add, narcissistic abuse (including behaviors like initial love-bombing, then devaluation and finally the discard, gaslighting and rages) are
not new. I used to discuss these with my granny before she passed in 2016, and it was already going on in the early 1900's. It's just we didn't have
these clinical names for it.
If you haven't experienced it it's almost impossible to describe, so I understand some responses.
Until I turned about 40, I never knew what it was, or I considered it a part of the patriarchy and gender-based violence behind closed doors. Nowadays
I'd say it's more females doing it in a social way, with all kinds of malignant smear campaigns. Not to get in a gender war, it's probably both in
slightly different ways, and it's also prevalent in the lgbt scene. Some commentators like Sam Vaknim say that there is an immense increase in this
behavior these days, and a side effect of this abuse is to make the victim temporarily "toxic" as well. However, most normal people will revert to
their empathic selves once no contact with the narcissist is maintained for a while. But yeah it can be infectious.
By the way, I don't have a "girlfriend" in a romantic scene, what happened at the music festival was actually with a married couple, and on the phone
the next day he told me she'd done it to all his friends, so in hindsight this was actually part of the abuse and isolation of him, in which I was
just a pawn.
Then the issue of "ghosting back". This is really a misnomer, which means that the narc wants you to come crawling back to them with apologies for
stuff you never did so that their mistake can be covered up and their grandiosity is supplied. It merely means you ignore them back. But beware, a
narc who doesn't get supply can fly into physical rages, because for them any attention is supply, which they need to regulate their emotions. So
methods like "gray rock" at a barbecue, for example, can be dangerous, experts warn.
But for those who doubt this is abuse of the highest order and can even drive victims to suicide, I leave you this clip.
If it hasn't happened to you yet (and narcs get worse as they age and fail to find new supply easily after the previous discard) thank the Lord, or
your lucky stars or whatever.
It's very difficult to expose narcissism to those who haven't been targeted, and individual narcs should always be left to expose themselves. Don't
even try with their enablers or "flying monkeys" (an old term for narc enablers taken from the film The Wizard of Oz).
But for those who feel affected - knowledge is power!
edit on 17-5-2021 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)
P.S. And what I've described is very limited as an introduction. Ghosting happens in friendship circles, in marriages, amongst siblings, parents and
children, in workplaces, in universities and colleges, in military circles and yes, sadly even in churches and activist communities. Virtue signalling
fits the narcissist's "mask" or fake persona perfectly, and it's no accident that most destructive cults are based around narc leaders, and employ
similar techniques. "Ghosting" is essentially an intended form of "shunning". In fact, you could call it secular or non-religious "shunning". It's
just even with religious groups who've done this for ages, the "shunned" will usually know why. The narc on the other hand is very thin-skinned and in
their delusions they make up all kinds of rules they think should apply to everybody, but never themselves consistently. They may just do it for drama
and attention (supply), and ultimately to watch you suffer and squirm.
edit on 17-5-2021 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)
Just to again disambiguate between religious "shunning" and "ghosting".
The effects may be very similar, but ghosting from a narcissist (narc) will have no sense of closure.
In fact, keeping you guessing why is part of the anxiety they want to induce.
If you hang with these people, it can be anybody at any time.
So it's very abrupt, and has no clear reasons or sense of closure.
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