Transitioning into a Neanderthal - possible or not?

This is hypothetical, but say I'm just your average white dude, and I see these Neanderthal dioramas and figures, and I decided, I really identity with this, and I'd like to transition into a hominid ancestor - specifically I want to be a Neanderthal.

Where would one start?
Well, I'm aiming for the Neanderthal figure here (the first 20 seconds) from the Landesmuseum in Bonn, Germany:
www.youtube.com...

Tell your trainer, I want to look like a Neanderthal.

OK, you might need a plastic surgeon too.

Body-hair?
Throw the clipper in the bin.

And forget about the vegetarian diet.
Neanderthals DNA showed they were over 90 percent carnivore.

Considering I'm 46 that would make me an elder in their community (I'm not sure they actually reached that age), but I'd be happy passing as a 35-year-old Neanderthal.

I guess brow-ridges might be a start.

a reply to: halfoldman
I like where you're going with this...but I fail to see why Neanderthals get all the ancient privelage...I mean I identify as a Cro, you know Cro Magnon.

Nobody even considers us anymore..dont EVEN get me started on my buddy who identifies as Australopithecus.

a reply to: halfoldman

Just remove all you're clothing some where far from my location
with immediate access to a vast wilderness. Head out and run around
out there for about a year. If you survive? There you go.

Imagine, now this might be awkward:

Mom, dad remember that book on Early Man you gave me?

And I never wanted to put it down?

Well, I identify as this:

I mean I exaggerate and send it up, but it's not entirely a joke.
And as a Eurasian, I'm 2-6 percent.

a reply to: halfoldman
Hey, theres a real JEDI church i hear...why not be a caveman? You could easily work for Geico.

a reply to: halfoldman

Does this mean you can no longer ask a pregnant couple if they
want a boy or a girl without including Neanderthal?

a reply to: halfoldman

Well, now I can't get "🎶🎵Itsy bitsy teeny weeny, yellow poka dot bikini🎶🎵" out of my head and I didn't even click the video you linked.

Batteries died in my TV remote, so I feel myself reversing in the evolutionary chain...

I'm well over 46 years of age...

I'm tired of getting a haircut every 3 weeks...( high and tight )

I'm practically hairless to begin with...( little facial hair, little chest hair and no back or superior posterior fur ).

And I can't tell at the moment if my Appendix is coming or going...

I just want to sleep, eat and assure my dogs that they are higher than me on the food chain. I'm a part of their pack....


I enjoy the sun...
Walks by the water...
And as little thinking as possible...

Have a S&F 🌟🇿🇦

a reply to: halfoldman



Apparently I’m already one....

originally posted by: halfoldman

Well, I identify as this:

Looks inquisitive. Looks smarter. Gotta survive right?

A reset?

Just make it not as complicated after a good reset.

Leaning to make axes in the stone quarry.

"No, that's all wrong - if you don't kill a mammoth how can you kill a squirrel?
You can't kill a squirrel if you can't kill a mammoth"!

Whack.

We don't need no education.
Teacher makes a tasty snack.

Hey teacher, we lick the marrow from your bones.

a reply to: Bigburgh

Looks inquisitive

That gave that Neanderthal very kind looking eyes.

a reply to: halfoldman

We don't need no education.

We don’t need no thought control...

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Bigburgh

Looks inquisitive

That gave that Neanderthal very kind looking eyes.

They are very kind eyes. This Neanderthal might be well over 35 years of age. But those eyes are saying... Sweet gentle and young, just taking it all in and learning. Naive and gentler than one might perceive.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: halfoldman

We don't need no education.

We don’t need no thought control...

Nope, no no no.... let's not do Another Brick in the Wall.😁

a reply to: halfoldman
No pudding till you eat your meat! You can't have any pudding till you eat your meat!

From the film Clan of the Cave Bear:



Could you dream so far back?
The imagination knows no boundaries.

To transition to a neanderthal you must go to an outdoor party at the beach at night with others who desire to become neanderthal and drink around the blazing fire with a half barrel of beer.

originally posted by: Bigburgh

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: halfoldman

We don't need no education.

We don’t need no thought control...

Nope, no no no.... let's not do Another Brick in the Wall.😁

a reply to: halfoldman
No pudding till you eat your meat! You can't have any pudding till you eat your meat!

"Do-on't beat your kids...do- on't beat your kids...

originally posted by: BlueJacket

originally posted by: Bigburgh

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: halfoldman

We don't need no education.

We don’t need no thought control...

Nope, no no no.... let's not do Another Brick in the Wall.😁

a reply to: halfoldman
No pudding till you eat your meat! You can't have any pudding till you eat your meat!

"Do-on't beat your kids...do- on't beat your kids...

we're all trained in the membrane. You got it!

Ok yinzers!
Good night

a reply to: halfoldman

As long as you're happy sweetie ... just don't go literally poking your nose where it doesn't belong.

Like cupboards and car doors.