My a cappella nightmare.

I very recently dreamed that I was at some huge campus function with thousands of spectators, and the ending was a competition between 5 minute male a cappella performances. Each group would only sing for 5 minutes, but only two arrived, a third needed to be made-up on the spot, for the sake of dispensing 3 prizes. So immediately one of my tipsy girlfriends pronounced that I loved singing (although I know I actually cannot sing), and put my name on the list. Much of the rest of the dream was actually me trying to run away and hide in the crowd.

But alas, they found me eventually and I was shoved onto the stage with 3 other dudes (although the curtain at this point was still closed).
Seeing no way to escape I suggested we do "Shosholoza" and "The Lion Sleeps Tonight".

The one guy was quite happy with that and started humming already. But the other two dudes were unimpressed and said we must do something - it was like a word-salad to me. Oh flip, I thought, we're different generations. Now all is lost. Instead of working out some basic signals and movements, here we're arguing as the precious seconds tick away.

And then the curtain opened.
Microphones on, the spotlights are blinding.
And suddenly ... I woke up.

Shudder, not nice.
Well I checked "a cappella" is actually the correct Italian term for vocals without an accompanying musical instrument.
brians.wsu.edu...

What might have transpired next?
Which songs would others suggest in a similar situation?

Well, my suggestions in the dream:

a reply to: halfoldman

Here's my all-time doo-wop/almost a capella tune. It's not too well known, but I think it could have worked in your nightmare situation.

originally posted by: halfoldman
What might have transpired next?
Which songs would others suggest in a similar situation?

No "quest" in m own dreams lasts much longer than that (or as long) without being distracted into something else. So I reckon you launched into "climb every mountain", and then found yourself climbing a mountain, with the vague idea that you would not remember the words (in order to go back to the stadium and complete the song) until you had reached the top. Then you would reach a fork in the path, and you would have to go looking for a bear to tell you the right way up, and you would still be having an argument with the bear when the alarm clock rang.

Chin up, chest out, and in my most baritone operatic voice: "I swear by the moon and stars and the sky, for better or worse till death do us part, I love you with every beat of my heart ... I love you Blue Mountain State" (for example, break into "unwilling" man-tears).

OK, step back, my bit is done.

(Psst guys - "We Will Rock You". Let the crowd do the other 4 minutes. They'll love it. Just my humble suggestion.)

The next conceivable nightmare, the other two groups bring out the flick-knives back-stage.
"So, you stole our show; you morons were supposed to be laughed off the stage".
And there I am thinking, if only I'd kept my big mouth shut.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Well it was a nightmare.
Just one possible trajectory in hindsight.

a reply to: halfoldman
PS. I never thought mainstream music could be married well to Franz Kafka - but yip, that is Kafkaesque.
dictionary.cambridge.org...

Giving away my age, but who first sang "I Swear"?
en.wikipedia.org...

Actually it was first a country song, but the version that was drummed into my skull by ceaseless radio and television repetition was by All-4-One (nope, not Boyz II Men, at least not at first).

In fact my submersion into metal and alternative music was first brought on by this song, because the sheer mental terror of its repetition was such in the 1990's that mainstream pop stations became unbearable.
And still today, I know most of the lyrics, although I really don't want to.

a reply to: halfoldman
The mind simulates situations in dreams
To tackle threats and stresses in waking life
Ignore the 'interpretations', they're all conjecture.
You feel something in the dream, identify it
Then do something to eliminate the discomfort
Sing a song loudly in public, note the discomfort
That is the problem your mind wants gone
Whatever is preventing your freedom on that situation
Perhaps you long for freedom to express and not be embarrassed
But then again, that's just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt

All in the context of my "nightmare" of course.
Nothing against any style of music or group.

Here's Sweet Child O' Mine by the DU (Durham University) Northern Lights.

If I could sing:

"To all the lighters I've loved before
My first blue Bic and then much more.
Some I lost upon the floor,
Punks and ravers smokers all,
I hope the unit's Zippo is still in my drawer.

Over the years ... they did change shape
From beaded bendy grip, fancy floppy flip,
To a lady, with a plastic nape.

And the pictures and maybe none
The clear green ones are all gone.
The Indian chiefs, the ganja leafs
The different signs of my beliefs.

To all the lighters I loved before,
Sometimes a lover, sometimes a bore.
But in the darkness of the night
It makes me feel alright
To know we'll have a light".

a reply to: halfoldman

My little reworking above based on To All The Girls I Loved Before, performed here by Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson:



Being gay I can't really try and sing that with much conviction, so my version would be dedicated to a nostalgic view of lighters.
(I couldn't just change the genders from "girls" to "boys" because then the bigots and wafflers would accuse me of being a pedophile. It had to be about something completely different, you see.)
Hey it might not be a dame, but nevertheless, a memorable flame.