posted on Mar, 2 2021 @ 08:58 AM
This is only a theory provided by a male of why some people are getting friend zoned by the females they aspire to bond romantically.
I just met this amazing girl at my job space who seem to give credits to the idea of a perfect romantic partner awaiting everyone of us. You've
already heard your relatives tell you that when you meet the one, you will know it deep down right away. I've always been wondering what was
the real meaning behind that bold statement since after 31 years, I had never felt in such a way.
Well, that changed a couple months ago when I met a new coworker at my job that seemed to checklist all the things I've been wishing for all my life.
It's almost like she is the mirror of myself but in a womam body. We think and speak alike and it seems I always finish her phrase before she does.
There was numerous occasions where she brought to light the obvious fact that we act in a disturbingly similar manners. I didn't think much of it at
first and simply chose to take my time and try to know her better before doimg any moves.
But when I did make a move, she seemed pleased and accepted right away. We booked a day to go snowboarding and I had a f-cking great time. One thing
though, she told me she was going to go fishing the next day.
So, I asked myself "with whom"
Turns out it was with some random dude. Afterwards, I had no news from her at all expect from the few occasions we crossed paths at job. I expected
the worst and told to myself to wait and see if she would hit me up somehow, like a girl really interested in me would do.
I had some dreams that seemed to warn me about this specific situation... her being with another man. What to do then? Since she is a coworker, I
decided to keep my distance to protect myself and also to respect her need for space. Then, I started to consider the fact that she might be waiting
for me to make a move or maybe even going all in with that other guy.
That's why I realized that I had no choice but to hit her up again after our work shift in order to show my true intentions and validates hers. She
declined like I thought she would since it was her week turn with the kids. At least, I was fixed. I showed my true intentions but she didn't come
This is where I think many people lose control and make mistakes that get them being friend zoned. That girl just made it obvious she didn't care for
me the same way as I do, at least at the time. She appreciates me a lot there is no doubt about it but she is satisfied with the state of our
relationship for now. She sees me at job, enjoy my presence and get what she wants from our relationship. Why would she care?
However, I don't feel the same. I see her as more than a friend so clearly I'm in a loosing situation. I could go on and try to hit her up again but
then I would show weakness. A girl will do a lot when she is truly into a guy.
In the past, I would have showed lack of self respect and probably hit her up again even though I'm pretty sure she has something else going on. Now
here is the interesting part-
I had a dream where she was with another guy and friend zoned me. I also had a complete opposite one where we kissed each other. This made me anxious
because I knew it was entirely possible she was gonna reject me but then I realized I had an opportunity right there.
So the ultimate question is,
what must an individual do in order to give himself all of the chances a girl he is into also considers him as a romantic partner (if there is mutual
interest ofc) instead of the complete opposite? The answer is-
keep you distances. Stop being so open with her about what's going on in your life. Bring some mystery into the equation. Show her you respect
yourself and even though you can still chill with her you also must protect yourself considering you don't see the relationship in the same light. As
hard as it sounds, it is most likely your best shot. Sure, this is not absolute and might not be the best approach for you but I'm pretty sure acting
this way will make a girl think about you because she doesn't get the attention she expects from you.
And ofc, this is only a method to be considered if you want a romantic relationship with someone. When you are friend with a person you tend to tell
all about what's going on in your mind and in your life. But if you do that with a wanted girl who seem to be unterested at the time, she will only
take you for granted and probably see you as a friend. Just continue to be nice to her but also start to give her reasons to think about you so she
wonders what's going on in your life.
I'm doing this right now with my coworker, keeping my distance, protecting myself, not asking about her personnal life and keeping mine to myself and
even though it sucks, it's the only way I don't hurt myself. Suddenly, she seems to be noticing it and even tell me I've stopped going seek her out
and proving it's annoying her. I don't know what's gonna be the end results but if you're truly interested in someone the last thing you want is
being taken for granted.
I'm even considering moving to another department because I need change and also so I don't see her anymore. Otherwise I'm only gonna hurt myself
and I feel like only then will she truly consider what I mean for her. Either way, just wish for other people that they are happy whatever the choices
they make and everything's gonna be alright!