Why do you ask ?

This is not a rant or about relationships, just a question I've pondered for years and think I've figured it out.

When I'm picking out new line for the weed eater, I've never asked my wife or girlfriend which one I should get. I know she has no interest and doesn't really care, so I don't ask.
New mower blade ? She doesn't care, so I don't ask.
How should I arrange my workshop ? Again, she doesn't care.

So ladies, can you tell me why, in the name of all that's holy, do you ask us what color to paint the walls ?

Last month, my fiance decided to paint the bedroom, came home with about 50 of those color sample cards and said "Look at these and tell me what you think "
Well, my first thought was "Oh sweet Jesus take me now 'cause I know what's coming next ". Yep..45 minutes of "Yes honey that would look good ". The thing is, we know you're gonna paint it whatever color you like and our opinion doesn't matter. No matter what we say, in the end, you're just gonna pick what You want. As long as my bedroom is not neon green with purple stripes, I don't care.

I think I've figured out why, but will hold off on that to see what the ladies have to say.

a reply to: DAVID64

Last time I was in this predicament, I just pointed out everything that I liked and luckily, she decided along the lines that I was thinking. Unluckily, I am not an interior designer... That room looked like the insides of a babies soiled diaper.

a reply to: DAVID64

As a guy who has been married 30 years in March, I'll tell you like this, when asked if "this is OK", the answer is and always will be "yes dear". My father taught me that early on, and it's kept the peace thus far.

As you said, our opinion means exactly jack sh!t anyhow, so might as well make them feel good about it.

originally posted by: SoundisVibration
a reply to: DAVID64

Last time I was in this predicament, I just pointed out everything that I liked and luckily, she decided along the lines that I was thinking. Unluckily, I am not an interior designer... That room looked like the insides of a babies soiled diaper.

yes, but you can blame the choice on her, at least to your buddies, don't ever do it to her face.

a reply to: DAVID64

I think we all fall into this trap occasionally.

In The fall I noticed my wife should have some new tires on her car before the snow flew so I asked her out of habit, what kind of tires do you want?
She looked at we with a deadpan straight emotionless expression and said "round'....

Yeah... I deserved that.

But I will say that it is a courtesy to ask for an opinion even if it won't change the final decision.


On a side note... Never ask a woman where she wants to eat.... Ever..

My advice here is just say..
Get ready, we are going out to eat.
Where are we going?
Guess...
*******?
Yeah! Good guess.

Works every time

a reply to: network dude

Amen brother.

You're wrong.
You have always been wrong.
You will always be wrong.
Get used to it.

a reply to: Bluntone22

You know what I think it is ?

Women see us like...well, you know that kid who sucks at sports but the coach let's them play for a few minutes to make them feel part of the team ?

Yeah...that's us.

a reply to: network dude

HAhaha! I figured I'd save that morsel for a fight down the road. So far, I haven't had to re paint said room... I figure when I have to Mansplain logic down the road, I will use this room as exhibit A. Followed by," a LOGICAL person would not have let me choose this uglyass color!"

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: DAVID64

My advice here is just say..
Get ready, we are going out to eat.
Where are we going?
Guess...
*******?
Yeah! Good guess.

Works every time

This right here is game changing. If I could nominate you for a Peace prize, I would.

Meh,
I'm one of the few that does not ask.
I wait until you are gone on a snowmobiling weekend, and just do it. LOL


But since I hate painting, washing walls, all that BS, we actually agreed on tearing out all the drywall, and putting up tongue and grove pine.
He gets to use tools, and I get to destroy stuff. Win Win.

And I only threatened him once with the air nailer.
So far.

a reply to: SoundisVibration

How about a "piece" prize ?

Wink wink

originally posted by: network dude
a reply to: DAVID64

As a guy who has been married 30 years in March, I'll tell you like this, when asked if "this is OK", the answer is and always will be "yes dear". My father taught me that early on, and it's kept the peace thus far.

As you said, our opinion means exactly jack sh!t anyhow, so might as well make them feel good about it.

^^ Ditto

The problem is that my wife has sussed out "our" tactics. She now accuses me of only agreeing because I don't care and to squirm out of the decision making process.

Backed up against a wall, with no escape, I'm forced to argue for the same 45 mins. as the OP! It's lose-lose every time.

a reply to: DAVID64

So ladies, can you tell me why, in the name of all that's holy, do you ask us what color to paint the walls ?

Because if they ask first, you can't come back later and say you don't like it and blame her, because you agreed to it.

Never engage in any of that trivial stuff, it’s a trap.

Usually men will pick one colour and then the woman will debate it until you choose their pick anyway. I usually ask what colour were they thinking and just agree. On occasions, this is still not good enough because they will change their mind within 2 minutes and that is a whole new ball game entirely.

4 hours later after a major shouting match has calmed down, they revert to the original colour.

Women. Can’t live with them, can’t live with them.

originally posted by: network dude
a reply to: DAVID64

As a guy who has been married 30 years in March, I'll tell you like this, when asked if "this is OK", the answer is and always will be "yes dear". My father taught me that early on, and it's kept the peace thus far.

As you said, our opinion means exactly jack sh!t anyhow, so might as well make them feel good about it.

As a man married 30 years...can you answer the ages old question?

If a man speaks and there's no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?

OK, now for my perspective as a woman.

My husband is actually more color sensitive than I am. So I ask him because he is better at picking tones that look good together.

It gets him into all kinds of trouble. For example, I started a new afghan a couple weeks ago and he got to help me pick yarns. Now I'm not totally crazy. I did the gross work and narrowed down what I roughly wanted, but for settling on the finer shades, I had him come help me decide. Did I want this or that shade of blue? Which one was going to work better?

When it comes to something like painting the room in a house ... well, he lives there too. And I know from experience that if I make decisions and he doesn't approve, I'll get a snide remark. He claims to not care at all about clothing, and I take care to make sure our kiddo doesn't look like a rag-bag on his way to school and that the mask he still has to wear coordinates with his outfit. Husband claims to not care, until he does. Kiddo has a white mask that has some minor stains at this point in the year. I put it out one day, and husband made the remark that it looked like underwear with skidmarks.

So you tell me he doesn't notice or care, or at least that he doesn't care ... until he does.

So he gets asked about it.

a reply to: DAVID64

So you have a wife and a girl friend. How do they feel about that?

a reply to: DAVID64

Neon green with purple stripes sounds great. Maybe with some orange circles, you know like almost yellow ...
What was the question?

a reply to: ChesterJohn

???

I have a fiance.
I was speaking of my ex wife and past experience.

a reply to: DAVID64

First off, I HATE painting! (just wanted to get this out of the way right up front!) I can do a lot of things, even build custom cabinetry, but painting I thoroughly suck at, and I admit it. I don't know what it is, but I wind up with more paint on me and stuff I don't want to paint than on stuff I'm trying to paint. I just loathe painting!

There are three (3) jobs I will gladly hire and pay someone to do on a house. Those are: Painting, Tile work and Roofing. Sorry, hot button, but I digress.

Regarding your dilemma, I had a similar experience just last year. Wife wanted to paint the kitchen. Okay. Now, I'm a pretty boring guy. I like vanilla ice cream, all my cars and trucks are white. Wife asks what color I want...I said "white" (of course). Jeezus, I had no idea there were so many different colors of white!!! We spent the next two weeks looking at little sample strips of paint (all white). Finally, I said I just couldn't tell whether "Eggshell", or "Antique" or any of the other 700+ variations of white were the right one from the strips. So, my wife volunteered to get some samples and paint some areas, side by side, so we could look for real. Seemed like a good idea.

One day, while I was at work, she painted out all the samples she had (about seven I think). When I came home, before I could even grab a beer, I was accosted with picking out one of the samples...right now! She wouldn't tell me what one she'd picked, so I picked one. To my utter amazement, I picked the same one she had picked! YAY!!! So she goes and gets a couple gallons of the selected color and starts painting (I already told her I'd hire someone before doing it myself).

Well, she gets about 1/2 a gallon on the wall and we're both standing there looking at it. Wife asks me to be honest. Honest?? (think: A Few Good Men here...'you can't handle the truth!'). I said it looked like "Dirty Toilet Bowl White" and I didn't like it. (Then I started to pack up to go live in the barn, where I was about to be exiled to). To my shock and utter dismay, she heartily agreed with me! OMG!

Aha! Now I have a secret weapon! Wife asked what color I thought she should "re"-paint the walls. I said "white"! Now I don't have to pick paint colors anymore!!

Thank Gawd she likes to paint cuz I was way out on the 'edge' with that experience, and narrowly escaped having to snuggle up to the tractor for warmth throughout my retirement.