I just won £182 million

Yep. Thats right, you read it here first I just won £182million on the UK Euromillions lottery.

I don't have a winning ticket, but I'm pretty sure all of the others that were bought are fraudulent and the winning numbers were altered by a dead Prince in Nigeria hacking in to the lottery software and changing the winning numbers so I lost.

This must be so, because Derek from the newsagents where I bought the ticket claims his internet was hacked by some Nigerian scammer a few weeks back, and Louise - the lass from the local chippy - says she saw some bloke looking a bit shady round the corner a few weeks back.

There is unsubstantiated evidence to suggest that Camelot, the lottery company in the UK, is fictional and based on the Knights of the Round table, which is linked into elements of the lost pages of the Magna Carter from 1215 suggesting that everyone in the UK should be flogged to death immediately.

I will, of course, be RELEASING THE CRAPPEN, to try and take this to the UK supreme court without any evidence, because .... well I can... and in the meantime I will be setting up a legal fund on Patreon so that you, dear reader, can donate lots of cash to me in exchange for FREE AIR and the chance to watch some videos on Youtube where I can categorically prove that I had the winning numbers all along using mathematics, made up statistics and blind luck.



This message has been brought to you by the words Political Parody, and the number 182

I hope you choke on it.

a reply to: neformore

Was this an example of fabled "British Humour"?
If so, the rumors now make sense.
🤦🏼‍♂️

originally posted by: neformore
Yep. Thats right, you read it here first I just won £182million on the UK Euromillions lottery.

I don't have a winning ticket, but I'm pretty sure all of the others that were bought are fraudulent and the winning numbers were altered by a dead Prince in Nigeria hacking in to the lottery software and changing the winning numbers so I lost.

This must be so, because Derek from the newsagents where I bought the ticket claims his internet was hacked by some Nigerian scammer a few weeks back, and Louise - the lass from the local chippy - says she saw some bloke looking a bit shady round the corner a few weeks back.

There is unsubstantiated evidence to suggest that Camelot, the lottery company in the UK, is fictional and based on the Knights of the Round table, which is linked into elements of the lost pages of the Magna Carter from 1215 suggesting that everyone in the UK should be flogged to death immediately.

I will, of course, be RELEASING THE CRAPPEN, to try and take this to the UK supreme court without any evidence, because .... well I can... and in the meantime I will be setting up a legal fund on Patreon so that you, dear reader, can donate lots of cash to me in exchange for FREE AIR and the chance to watch some videos on Youtube where I can categorically prove that I had the winning numbers all along using mathematics, made up statistics and blind luck.



This message has been brought to you by the words Political Parody, and the number 182

So you have proof that shows your numbers came up and then they were changed.

You have evidence showing how the numbers were changed.

If so, you have a good case mate.

a reply to: neformore
Even as there are those who hope you might choke on that little piece, that is what I did. Took a second but the sip of coffee I was engaged with kinda stuck for a second. Nicely written Mr. More and of course, as ridiculous as reality.

a reply to: neformore

Is this supposed to be analogous?

Satire?

Humor?


Not sure what mark you're aiming for.

a reply to: neformore

I will be setting up a legal fund on Patreon so that you, dear reader, can donate lots of cash to me in exchange for FREE AIR and the chance to watch some videos on Youtube where I can categorically prove that I had the winning numbers all along using mathematics, made up statistics and blind luck.

Sign me up! Where do I send my PayPal, et al, passwords, so you can take all the money you need to expose ALL the massive corruption!

a reply to: Sookiechacha

You can dial 1-800-Gimmethecash right now. Choose option 3.

Lefty humour such funny and much wow.

OPie major hurr durr to themself. At least you'll keep your other half brained friends happy in this thread.

👏

If only you guys would share that braincell amongst yourselves more often we'd get funnier threads more often.

a reply to: neformore

Sunday afternoon in Ol Blighty, and here you are musing about American politics.

On this side of the pond we call it "pompous".

originally posted by: JinMI
a reply to: neformore

Is this supposed to be analogous?

Satire?

Humor?


Not sure what mark you're aiming for.

He is acting out due to the turmoil he is feeling inside. It drives them crazy that we sincerely laugh each time they hold up pinocchio, and refer to him as office of the elect. From the DNCs behavior, it is obvious that they expected to lose, or worse yet, tried to lose. DNC has just set up the nation to be burnt down by the left, when it is revealed that they have lost. They will lose that one too

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

You have a time machine! Its Saturday

a reply to: neformore
Nef, ATS wouldn't be the same without you.

Enjoy your...er...um...winnings.

No, no it's not.

It's an attempt at sarcasm, a bad attempt.

You know British humour rocks really 😉

I didn't realise we had crazy lefties over here too! 😕

a reply to: neformore

Congratulations on your lottery win. Now for the bad news, you're in the United Kingdom.

You're in for 4 years of talk of a redraw and negotiations of how best to pay you. You'll need to negotiate trade deals with your grocer, your barber, utility companies, transportation companies, etc., before you can be paid. You'll also need to negotiate a deal on how many foreigners will be allowed to come to your house and take up residence there.

Meanwhile, your government is entitled to 80% of your winnings, and they want their money now.

I’m sure the Royals are sipping tea, looking down their noses at you laughing.

From the tower..
(In pompous English accent)
“ohhh look Henry, the peasants are actually defending us”
(all laugh in silly English accent)
“ahhwhooo, bah, bah, bah!”

a reply to: neformore

Can’t argue with that logic.

By the way, I just won the powerball. Suck it fraudulent losers.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan

Sunday afternoon in Ol Blighty, and here you are musing about American politics.

On this side of the pond we call it "pompous".

Don't bother with him they are still miffed that they got their asses kicked twice...About as bad as liberals in 2016...
BTW I didn't need a Nigerian scammer to vote 12 times...

I heard that Europe was under a second round of even stricter lock downs, but seeing Nef lose it like this just has really driven that point home.

Nef, it's OK. You'll learn how to love being under perpetual house arrest to save you from a disease that's so insidious they have to test you to discover if you've even had it.

Not sure that I catch your point.

Is this about your feelz that you have a right to free stuff?