Covid thanksgiving

Some personal baggage I want to get off my chest. Haven’t seen my family for the past two years, some family drama playing out with a divorce put strain on folks. After my family decided covid was too dangerous to come to my wedding I held in my apartment with less than 10 guests was too dangerous for them too attend. Didn’t really talk about it, haven’t really talked since. Come thanksgiving. No phone call, no invite, estranged. My sister gives a little text saying they had dinner and sending well wishes which was nice. I decided to give a call and my father tells me they are staying locked down from covid (6 people in their county have died to date). My mother won’t say more than “hi”. Father goes on to say he’s at least happy the country can finally get better, well with president biden on the case. I don’t agree, but don’t want to actively upset my father after idk how long not speaking, but he pushes when I don’t jump to say Orangeman bad with him. I said being in an urban area, im worried until the next president is in office, im concerned about potential civil unrest, he just found totally outlandish to suggest, after all biden won. I just agreed and said it was nice to talk. The 5 minute phone call after idk how many months was just a friggn CNN piece excusing themselves for being so distant. Covid response by design wants to break up traditional family.

All the commercials of socially distant holiday celebrations break my little heart. While life goes on in this new normal, let’s end the dangerous time of getting together with family, THATS too dangerous in this day and age. In my best Charlie Brown UGH

a reply to: Rob808

Family... can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em!

My heart goes out to you. It is sad. There are certain family members I must keep at arm's length. I don't like it. The rest of my family doesn't like it, tho some have had to do the same/similar. I don't wish anyone ill. I just don't want more trouble. I cannot completely avoid them, so I have a simple motto: I will avoid them when possible, be civil when appropriate, and walk away when necessary.

I wish I had some magic words of profound wisdom for you that would make everything better -- heck! wish I had them for myself!!! -- but I don't. All I can say is that I know how you feel.

And remember, we all get two chances to have a happy family; the first is the one we are born into, the second is the family we create for ourselves. Take your hard learned lessons and make yours awesome

Do they disagree with whom you’ve married and just use Covid as an excuse?

Just as Boadicea mentioned, start your own family. That doesn’t necessarily mean have children, but make friends who are closer than your previous family. Maybe start with the ones who did show up to your wedding.

Enjoy your holidays with you significant other who is now your family. Center your world around them and do not let your nuclear family upset you.
I have a 47 year old friend who cannot stand to be around his mother, she is backward thinking and a vile person at times, always talking trash about his wife whom has been good as gold to her, and he gets so upset that he cannot have the relationship he desires. Does she see the harm she causes him? Absolutely not and in her mind she is never the problem, she blames the wife when it’s clearly herself that has issues. He has came to terms with this but he still struggles emotionally from time to time.

You have to distance yourself from people like this even if they brought you into this world. Not everyone has a pleasant family, really no one does, some people just hide it better.

To move forward you have to stop looking back.

a reply to: Rob808

Want to take a stab at how many people in your family would be your best friend if you won a few hundred million in the lottery?
I’ve heard many stories about how family becomes so important when you have something they need or want.

One of my brothers is like this.

But as said above, create your own circle.