Cool h'Whip

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
Things like that make me hate. I don't want to hate.

Just because I'm that guy.

Make sure you listen to the wonderful *crunch* *thunk* as he cuts into that bad boy with his monster serrated bread knife.

a reply to: TheAlleghenyGentleman

And that reminds me to sharpen a bunch of my knives prior to Thursday.

originally posted by: Nyiah
< cough >

I've totally never done that regularly....

< avoids eye contact >

I think I'd rather you eat the Cool Whip instead of doing that. Please, please, please don't do that.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

That video is unacceptable. He should be banned from youtube. I want him to get gout.

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
That video is unacceptable. He should be banned from youtube. I want him to get gout.

Imagine walking into work and trying to teach everyone that technique? You should try it and try to keep a straight face.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I like to walk over to people boards and take like 5 or 6 pieces of dice whatever when they have left their station and line up inconsistent pieces to be a jerk. That always makes me laugh.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nyiah
< cough >

I've totally never done that regularly....

< avoids eye contact >

I think I'd rather you eat the Cool Whip instead of doing that. Please, please, please don't do that.

Lol, believe it or not, noooo, you don't want me switching it up. The flat edge knives are a MUCH bigger risk for me, I've shaved off my fair share of digit skin, and even lost knuckle skin steadying stuff the right way (fingertips tucked/knuckles-out) It took YEARS to get the creases back in the scarred skin. In hindsight, I probably should have gone to the ER for that one, it was a very deep wound and I'm sure I should count my blessings that it didn't get infected.

If it's a soft or juicier fruit/veg, I use the serrated knives, I depend on that "grip" to avoid maiming myself. Never had a knife accident with one, unlike the proper knives.

Speaking of kitchen escapades and me, I'm about to go bake up some chicken for dinner. Fingers crossed that I don't screw it up, injure myself, or burn the house down in the process

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
I like to walk over to people boards and take like 5 or 6 pieces of dice whatever when they have left their station and line up inconsistent pieces to be a jerk. That always makes me laugh.

Total Mario Batali move.

a reply to: Nyiah

Dull knives are more dangerous than sharp knives. Always.

Watch some knife skills course videos on youtube. If you were learning to play an instrument you would a watch video. Why skimp out on knife skills?

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
a reply to: Nyiah

Dull knives are more dangerous than sharp knives. Always.

Watch some knife skills course videos on youtube. If you were learning to play an instrument you would a watch video. Why skimp out on knife skills?

My husband worked as a sous chef, he's tried, believe me, he's tried. His reactions have been on par with Aug's, BUT he does concede that how I do it works well enough for me that he'd rather I stick with what pans out as safer for me. Safer or better in general doesn't apply to every single individual in reality, even he knows that.

a reply to: Nyiah

But.... why? Watch a video. Start small with a piece of celery. Make the claw hand, hide the thumb (use it as a brace) and slowly chop. Just practice that.

Don’t grip the knife handle. Grab the hilt and wrap your hand around it.

Don’t tell me you can’t do this if you wanted to. Anybody with two working arms can do this with practice.

My particular kitchen nemesis is the vegetable peeler. I get along all right with knives.

a reply to: ketsuko

Buy the right peeler. Would you try to do a construction job with crap or wrong tools?

Peeler amazon.

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
a reply to: Nyiah

But.... why? Watch a video. Start small with a piece of celery. Make the claw hand, hide the thumb (use it as a brace) and slowly chop. Just practice that.

Don’t grip the knife handle. Grab the hilt and wrap your hand around it.

Don’t tell me you can’t do this if you wanted to. Anybody with two working arms can do this with practice.

Again, BTDT -- a sous chef is no Augustus, but they know their tools and how to use them. Practice does not apply here, hubby's been trying to "correct" me for 16 years now. It simply does not compute and feels much clumsier & less sturdy to me.

C'mon, there's always wiggle room for us outliers to manage to use an iffy method well. I'd wager it's just a natural default that can't be overcome.


Edit: Put it this way, the kitchen is NOT my domain and never has been -- I was that kid who got kicked out of Home Ec because I caught the stove on fire trying to sautee...onions. Be happy I can use something and not injure myself with it, lmao XD

a reply to: Nyiah

I wouldn’t recommend learning from somebody you love. That will just be a huge distraction and bad power dynamic. You would have to learn independent from him to actually train yourself and to feel confident in what you are teaching yourself. You can do it.

a reply to: TheAlleghenyGentleman

I swear I will find a way to peel skin right along with vegetable.

Husband lets me nowhere near the mandolin.

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
a reply to: Nyiah

I wouldn’t recommend learning from somebody you love. That will just be a huge distraction and bad power dynamic. You would have to learn independent from him to actually train yourself and to feel confident in what you are teaching yourself. You can do it.

That's of no issue, I put my foot down long ago on if he's going to teach me something, treat me like I'm a n00b where he works, not the wife. And to his credit, he does, and does not falter. I see up close and personal how drastically different his work side is from his home side, lol, "Are you going to point me for a # up or something?" "Cut the sass and focus on what I'm showing you here, you wanted to be treated like an employee and that's what we're doing." Ooookay, I did ask for it


Edit: Come to think of it, my dad was the same way when he taught us something. He's a gentle, soft-spoken guy, but rode our asses teaching us kids skills. We hated it because he was a borderline rigid asshole sometimes, but in hindsight, I don't think it was much different from hubs' & my method today. Works well for us because I'm already used to separating the two sides of someone maybe?

a reply to: ketsuko

But it says in two languages

Caution!!!

This is a sad thread.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: TheAlleghenyGentleman

I swear I will find a way to peel skin right along with vegetable.

Husband lets me nowhere near the mandolin.

I seldom peel veggies anymore, I have to go slowly with a knife or a peeler, makes no difference, otherwise I slice myself. That and there's a lot of nutrients in the skins, I prefer to not waste that if I can help it

a reply to: Nyiah

You should buy some cut resistant gloves. Cut gloves. Problem solved. They sell them on amazon.