I can't breath

I'm in NW Florida and storms have left tree limbs and debris everywhere. Yesterday, like every other day, I was taking fallen tree limbs from the back acreage to the front. When it got dark I forgot to close a gate and just went inside for supper. In the morning my wife let the dog out, gates open, now he is dead. Right in front of the house. Wife blames herself and is inconsolable, I know it is my responsibility to keep everyone safe. I failed but I'm not yet done. Some of y'all must be wiser than me. How can I recover?

a reply to: DukeMisterio

Oh my god that's.... I really feel for you and all in your household right now. I'm so sorry.😔


Edit: clearly you have remorse and won't forget about this. It was a mistake and hope in time you can forgive yourself.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

Forgive yourself and your wife does the same. You bury your beloved pet and rest easy knowing its not mad at you, its chasing squirrels in dog heaven and doing just fine.

That really sucks and I feel for you both. Life just happens until it doesn't though and I hope you guys wont be too hard on yourselves.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

Aww shoot.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's not your fault or the wifes fault.
If a dog wants out of the yard, their going to find a way.
I'm guessing he got hit by a Car?
If so, did the person responsible stop and notify you?

Just know he's not alone up there.
And plenty of us on ATS have been in the same place you are.

I bet My big dog Loki welcomed him at the gates.
We called Loki the bone collector.
We lived in a remote area in the wooded country side.
Loki would head out in the morning (we had over 100 acres of land)
And come home a couple hours later carrying a great big Moose bone.
He did that almost weekly for a few months.

As I said, we know how you feel.
We miss our boy too.

oh I am so sorry...I know you feel aweful and the wife is really upset, forgive yourself she will forgive you in time...giving you both (((((((((hugs))))))))


a reply to: Macenroe82

Oh no.. Im so sorry. I know how awful it is to lose a beloved friend like that. It was an accident..please try to go easy on yourselves and forgive yourselves. I know its easier said then done though. Big [[hugs]] from Texas

a reply to: DukeMisterio

I had my beloved dog get into some snail pellets that my daughter and her partner had left (covered and carefully wrapped, but the dog got under the tarp and tore open the bag) outside while they were moving house. The dog had retained significant physical damage from the poison and would never fully recover, so we had to make the decision to put her down because she would suffer.

This happened a month after losing my son after a long fight with cancer, as well.

Needless to say, my wife and I were devastated. It felt like one more thing beyond the limits of what we could handle.

There were no recriminations, there was no fault, we were just broken by circumstance.

Fortunately, grief comes and goes. A beautiful sunset is still beautiful and life goes on, somehow...

Take heart in that you and your wife still have each other. You can't undo things and shouldn't blame yourself for things that are really beyond your control. You just have to cherish what you do have, more.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

Sorry to hear...sorry about my comment, I didn't expect that story.
It sounds like he was a happy pup with good owners.
A lot of owners are vanity owners.
You can't control mother nature sometimes.
You can only recover from loss with time.
1 day at a time.
Getting some time away from there, if it's really difficult at first can be helpful with initial grief.
Good luck guys

Reading some of these comments.

Thank you everyone. You are an uncommonly good bunch.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

For years my wife has told me that I like animals more than humans. Basically, she’s right. I am sorry for your and your wife’s loss. During my 67 years, I’ve lost six pets. Companions giving unconditional love and surprising pleasure. I’ve been heart broken every time one has been killed in an accident or I’ve had to hold them while they were injected. The heck with grown men not crying—-I wept like a baby. We have a 14 year old cat we adopted from a shelter now. She’s moved with us from AZ to NC to SC. I’m afraid we’ll say goodbye to her fairly soon.

God bless you both—I know some don’t “get” the difficulty you’re experiencing, but most of us do and sympathize greatly.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

I am so very sorry for your tragic loss.

Time heals.
Forgive yourself, and your wife the same.
Allow yourselves to grieve, to hurt and then the holes in your hearts will slowly fill with good memories of your sweet dog.

Blame 2020.
The year that won't go away.

hey mate I know words are just that but the words I have just read both made me cry and also brightened my heart to read of the kind and beautiful humans that have offered you some solace and suggestions.
my friend is getting on in years and I know that I will be devastated very soon but I will enjoy every moment I can with him. And when my choice is to let him go gently I will be shattered once more but I will come back to here and reread what every one has commented and feel better knowing that I am not the only grown man that has shed tears.
energy and thoughts to you from Australia mate.a reply to: DukeMisterio

Your pup awaits you on the rainbow bridge to join you in everlasting battle in Valhalla until ragnarok. Made me cry. Darn doggies and their perfection.

a reply to: DukeMisterio

Woah...so sorry. I got a 17 month old Yorkie-demon-klepto-Spaz-terror we have to leave a lead on in case he gets out 'cause he'd be gone and we're older....

Forgive, don't forget, replace as necessary! It's no one's fault..live and learn...sorry, God Bless
😟🐕

Allow me to extend my sincere apologies for my earlier comment.

I did not read the entire OP prior to posting, and was trying to be funny about spelling in the title at a very inappropriate time.

My comment was wrong, and inappropriate. No excuses. Period.

I am very sorry for your loss, and sincerely apologize for my comment.

Sincerely,

FCD