The Fence [MUL2020]

Daryl sat on his porch watching the sun go down. It was as peaceful as it always was and he really enjoyed this part of the day... going through the list of things accomplished, goals met, life done right. The house he was sitting in front of he had build himself using the forest around him. The bench he was sitting on he had made from a maple tree that was dying so he made something in its memory. Everything he saw looking around was his. But the journey from there to now wasn't easy...

Although to be honest, the goal today wasn't hard to do. It was to watch the sunset.

Daryl was retired and had a few hundred acres to take care of.

When he originally retired, he had wanted to farm. So he did... trying different crops and trying to guess where the market would be the next year.
It turned out he sucked at it.

Then he decided that raising cattle would be the ticket. After all, how hard could that be? Turns out that it was pretty hard and he sucked at that too.

So he decided that he should just putter around, raise a garden and tinker around in his shop. Turns out he was pretty good at that.

So that is what he had done the last two decades or so. The wife had passed away before he retired, the kids just didn't understand him but he was oddly comfortable where he was in life.

Daryl had read in the paper that he had a new neighbor. Someone had bought the Hobbins property. He remembered the funeral. Good old Jimmy! So many good times shared with him. He hoped that the new neighbor would be someone he could get along with.

And if not, why would it matter at all? The new guy would be a mile or so away and the only thing they shared was a fence line.

Although he had heard some noises over that way the last few weeks.

Daryl reached for his only vice... his chew. The can of Copenhagen looked tattered and worn and just... sad. The contents that were left were not exactly what he would call "moist". A better description would be "dry".

So tomorrow he would have to go to town.

Where "people" were.

Daryl sighed. But he hadn't gone into town for awhile. He perked up.... maybe he could buy a few of those candy bars that had coconut in them. The mounds kind. Maybe he could buy a few with the almonds in them... just for a change of pace.

The sun had set and darkness was gathering. He went inside to sleep so he could get up early and prepare for a supply run in the morning.


The next morning after breakfast (remember to put ham on the list!) he put on his jacket and looked at his pistol. Should he bring it? Better safe then sorry... he had heard on the radio that there was some commotion in the US right now. Something about cops or a flu or some such nonsense.

He slid the Sig Sauer 226 from its holster, did a quick inspection and put it back. Daryl ran his fingers over the pin of a golden eagle clutching a U.S. Navy anchor, trident, and flintlock that decorated the holster. A rare grin played over his face at the memories it held.

He clipped his sidearm to his belt and went out to the truck, the chickens scattering under his feet as he went.

As he approached his front gate he saw something new. A fence! That was nice of his new neighbor... the old pine posts had needed replaced for years. He marveled at the long line of new cedar posts with 4 strands of perfectly set barbed wire. THAT had cost a pretty penny! Daryl put his truck in park and got out to survey this new addition. He sighted down the posts... whomever had done this had some skill. This was wonderful!

But...

He looked, sighed, looked again...

The fence was about 12 feet inside his property line.

He rooted around to find his corner stake and finally found it next to the post that the gate was attached to.

Yep... about 12 feet inside his property line.

Daryl scratched the whiskers under his chin and thought about it. Could be an honest mistake. Wonder if the other end of the fence ended at his corner stake?

Daryl walked the 3/4 mile of fence line, again admiring the fence.

It was a beautiful fence... he didn't think he could have done a better job of it.

At the other end of the fence he found his corner stake, which looked like it had been found, cleaned off and marked with paint. 12 feet away from the fence.

He walked back to his truck and thought about it. Did it really matter? It wasn't like he was using the property anyways. Was it just an accident? It didn't look like it...

Coming over the hill Daryl spotted a shiny new Range Rover parked next to his truck. Someone was inside. The new neighbor, perhaps? If he was a friendly fellow then this fence issue wasn't going to matter at all. He walked down the hill to see what was in store for the day.

a reply to: Lumenari

As he came nearer a man got out of the Range Rover.

Well, if you could call it a man.

A bad comb over rested atop a face with beady eyes and a hawkish nose. Yellow Crocs over black socks that only emphasized skinny white legs. Khaki shorts holding in a little pot gut...topped off with a Hawaiian print shirt.

It would be safe to say that he wasn't from around these parts.

Daryl scratched the whiskers under his chin and watched him approach.

He held out his hand to Daryl who shook it, noting a weak handshake and wet greasy palms.

"Hi there neighbor! John Smelty. A pleasure to meet you! Your name is Daryl, correct?"

Daryl nodded.

"I just needed to clear some things up real quick. I bought the Hobbins property and noticed a few things I need to fix. First off, I needed another acre for my property to qualify for a tax advantage, so I put the fence where it needed to be for me. I researched your taxes over the last seven years and you are not using the tax break so I thought I would use it."

"Also, it seems that my property's water is currently coming from your well and I am supposed to pay you $45 a month for the easement. I don't want to do that and I've got a drilling company coming in the next few days to drill me a well. Did you know there is only one well drilling company within 300 miles of here? That's crazy!"

"By the way, why are you wearing a pistol? Is that even legal? Do people out here think it's the Wild West or something? That's just silly."

Daryl attempted to get a word in edgewise.

"John, about the fence..."

Mr. Smelty smiled a cruel smile and interrupted him.

"Daryl, I'm a retired attorney and I've read up on the state laws here. Here is how this is going to work. If you want to fight this in court I'm going to tie the lawsuit up for YEARS. In the meantime, if the lawsuit isn't settled in 2 years then I get the property anyways. Long and short of it, that is mine now and there really isn't anything you can do about it."

"And on that note, nice meeting you and stay the hell off of my property. Have a good day!"

John turned, got into his shiny new SUV and peeled out, throwing dirt and rocks onto Daryl's truck as he left. He stood there, thinking about what just happened as the dust settled.

It appeared he wasn't going to get along with his new neighbor.

He shrugged, got into his truck and went to town for supplies.


That night he woke up with an unfamiliar feeling clawing at his gut. Could it have been the ham? Maybe that newfangled chocolate bar? He did eat a whole one, after all. His face seemed flushed too. What was happening?

Then he realized what it was, something he had not felt in years.

He was angry.

No, not angry. He was royally pissed off.

Well THAT won't do. He would have to fix that in the morning.

Noon the next day found Daryl putting the tow chains away on his tractor. He wiped the sweat off of his brow, took off his leather work gloves and stood back to gaze in marvel at what he had accomplished in a few short hours.

There was now a pile of broken fence posts and twisted wire beside his front gate. Although the word "pile" didn't really do it justice. It was more of a monument of sorts, fully 12 feet tall and probably 50 feet around. A memorial to a fence.

He chuckled and got on the tractor. The big chore for the day he could scratch off the list. Daryl headed to the house to make some lunch.

As he was sitting at the table cutting up the remainder of the ham he was startled by the phone ringing. Soon it stopped, then started again. Odd... it hadn't rang in months. Everyone knew that if you wanted to talk to him he was always right here. Oh well. It was his phone and he didn't feel like answering it right now.

He unplugged it and went back to making a sandwich. With fresh potato chips!

a reply to: Lumenari

The afternoon found Daryl sitting on the front porch. The sun would be going down in an hour or so but he figured soon he would have some company.

Sure enough, not 20 minutes passed before the Sheriff's truck drove over the hill and made its way to the front of the house.

Roy got out of the truck, took off his hat and approached the porch.

"Evening Daryl."

"Evening Roy. Hope your wife is doing fine. How can I help you today?"

"I've received a complaint from your new neighbor. Can you join us down by your gate?"

"Of course, Roy."

Daryl got up and walked down the front steps. Roy noticed his side arm and his eyes widened slightly when he recognized the insignia on the holster.

"Um... is there going to be some trouble Daryl?"

"Nope... just sorting some stuff out."

"Well, I'll just see you at the gate then."

As Daryl pulled up to the gate he was witness to a rather amusing sight. John Smelty was literally hopping up and down screaming into his cellphone. His hair bounced up and down in time to his red-faced hysterical movements.

Roy got out of his truck and approached Mr. Smelty, who threw the cellphone at his Range Rover and approached the Sheriff.

"What is wrong with Daryl? Is he insane? This fence cost me THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS to put up and he just thinks he can pull it down? I will SUE!!! What is WRONG with you people! I want to press charges for destruction of property NOW!"

Roy sighed and walked over to Daryl.

"Did you do this Daryl?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

Daryl motioned Roy over to his front gate and showed him where his corner peg was, then pointed to the line of sheared off fence posts.

"That's why."

Roy scratched his head, nodded to Daryl and told John "Just wait here and don't do anything stupid. I'll go get your paperwork."

As Roy was busy writing up the ticket, John hissed at Daryl "You have NO idea who you are screwing with. I will OWN your property when I'm done with you. Stupid backwoods country f---." John shut up as Roy approached, paperwork in hand.

"Here you go, John."

John leered at Daryl and snatched the paperwork from Roy's hands. His jaw dropped and his face went white as he read the ticket.

"WHAT!!!! You are charging ME!!! With LITTERING!!!"

Roy sighed. "Yes John, it appears to me that you have left a large pile of trash on Daryl's property. I was nice and left off the trespassing charge, although if Daryl wants to pursue that I will. After all, his land is posted. No trespassing. You have a week to get this cleared up or I will have the city come pick it up and we will send you the bill."

"Any questions?"

John opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again... he looked very much like a fish out of water. Then he ran to his SUV and sped off, sliding into Daryl's gate as he left and tearing off his mirror as well as a fair amount of paint.

The two men remaining heard the scream of frustration from Mr. Smelty as he sped down the road.

"Did you need me to ticket him for the gate, Daryl?"

"Nah... I've been meaning to put a new one up anyways."

"Ok! If there is nothing else I'll just leave you to it then."

Roy tipped his hat and said "Good night Daryl."

"Good night Roy."

The men went their separate ways.

Daryl had one more chore to do though.

He went back to the house and plugged the phone in, then dialed a number. A man he knew answered the phone.

"Hi Daryl! Haven't talked to you in awhile! Everything ok?"

"Sure Pete. I just wanted to give you a heads up about your Dad's old property. You were going to try drilling there in the next few days?"

"Sure am! I tried to tell that new fella that Dad had tried drilling a couple times but nobody could find water down to 600 feet. He says he'll pay to go to 900 feet though. Sucker born every minute, I guess."

"Pete, that man is not going to pay you. He's a lawyer. Can you do me a personal favor?"

"Sure Daryl, anything you want! You are like an uncle to me, after all."

"Don't drill for him right now."

"Sure thing! How long do you want me to put him off?"

"I'm thinking about... forever."

Pete laughed. " Sure thing Daryl. I really didn't want to do it anyways because I know there's nothing down there. Even our witcher couldn't find anything and she's really good. I'll put Mr. Smelty off for... forever then!"

"Thanks Pete. You have a good night now."

Daryl hung up the phone, went to his pump house and turned off the water to the old Hobbins property.

OK then! Chores were done and it was time to watch the sunset. He settled onto his maple porch bench and relaxed.

The sun had set and the moon was just coming up when he heard the noise, far in the distance.

A cougar? Nah... too low-pitched.
Coyotes? Nope... just the wrong sound.

Oh! John Smelty screaming in frustration?

Yep... that was it.

Daryl smiled and reached for his chew.

He was happy again.

THE END

I rather enjoyed that, you definitely have a talent for prose, sounds like that there may be a little truth in that story.

ya had me at Copenhagen LOL 2 and all years after quitting I still miss it..

Still think you need to do a podcast...

originally posted by: putnam6
I rather enjoyed that, you definitely have a talent for prose, sounds like that there may be a little truth in that story.

ya had me at Copenhagen LOL 2 and all years after quitting I still miss it..

Still think you need to do a podcast...

The basic story is either real or a rural legend where I live.

A Deputy Sheriff told me the story once, the title office people swear by it...

I mixed in my favorite John Wick scene for fun...



Threw in an Easter egg for anyone who knows what "The Budweiser" is...

But it's hard to do humor for me as a writer because it is so subjective.

For instance, I think this is funny...



Other people?

Not so much.

Thank you for the compliment and I'm being bugged more and more about a podcast...

I'm thinking about it.

a reply to: Lumenari

Nice!

I didn't break out in belly laughs, though I do admit to a sotto voce chuckle, and a generous heap of smiles.

If only all stories ended like that! What a nice World this would be!

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: Lumenari

Nice!

I didn't break out in belly laughs, though I do admit to a sotto voce chuckle, and a generous heap of smiles.

If only all stories ended like that! What a nice World this would be!

Humor turns out to be rather hard for me to do, it seems.

You need to throw an entry in on this one.

I love how you write.

a reply to: Lumenari

Humor turns out to be rather hard for me to do, it seems.

You need to throw an entry in on this one.

I got about 1/4 of the way through writing one a couple of nights ago, it didn't seem funny enough, so I shelved it. I too have difficulty with humor. Maybe if I add some humorous prefatory material?

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: Lumenari

Humor turns out to be rather hard for me to do, it seems.

You need to throw an entry in on this one.

I got about 1/4 of the way through writing one a couple of nights ago, it didn't seem funny enough, so I shelved it. I too have difficulty with humor. Maybe if I add some humorous prefatory material?

I wasn't going to write in this contest because I chose the topic and thought it wouldn't really be fair because I knew the topic a few days before.

I chose the topic because there is so much negative crap going on right now on ATS and the world that I thought as a community we needed some content that was a little lighter.

But nobody seems to want to write about the topic so I figured "what the hell" and threw this entry in here...

I am trying to write one that is one page and actually funny... this one was too long but it kept just developing by itself.

It turns out to be really hard to do for me because I'm... dark.

YOU have a rather amazing gift of being able to put a whole lot into a little space... your 50 word entry Here I wrote on a bit of birch bark and have hanging on a wall.

Give it a shot!

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: putnam6
I rather enjoyed that, you definitely have a talent for prose, sounds like that there may be a little truth in that story.

ya had me at Copenhagen LOL 2 and all years after quitting I still miss it..

Still think you need to do a podcast...

The basic story is either real or a rural legend where I live.

A Deputy Sheriff told me the story once, the title office people swear by it...

I mixed in my favorite John Wick scene for fun...

Threw in an Easter egg for anyone who knows what "The Budweiser" is...

But it's hard to do humor for me as a writer because it is so subjective.

For instance, I think this is funny...

Other people?

Not so much.

Thank you for the compliment and I'm being bugged more and more about a podcast...

I'm thinking about it.

LOL that certainly is my sense of humor, and in his day and age think it's becoming more en vogue.

a reply to: Lumenari

lol. That was excellent. I swear Lumenari, you shine.

a reply to: Lumenari

All my sympathy is with John here It's lovely when the honest fella wins.