How to properly take things.

As a member of The American Union of Thieves, Crooks and Robbers, you will always follow the below rules or else. These apply to all residential and commercial operations. You will need additional sheet Theft 2 for industrial, bank and highway operations.

You can decide on a prospective client any way you like but we suggest staking out the location for a while to determine when the location is expected to be occupied.

When approaching the door to enter, you will use the following to be certain there is no occupant. Use the doorbell if available for at least one second, knock four times, repeat this two more times, doorbell and knock, to be certain no one is there.

Should you get a response, ether verbal or showing a weapon, you will leave your business card and vacate the premise at once. This will help keep track of your activity for our records and the property owners records. Feel free to try again later.

Should you get no response, take the key from the hook above the door and open it. Make certain you return the key to the hook after locking the door when you are done. You must also leave your card by the key along with one inside the door in case something happens to the one outside.

You must wipe your feet before entering.

You will only take high value items that are easily removed and carried without damage. Any damage to the property or contents will be counted against your haul value.

All items removed from an operation must be tagged and kept separate in your prearranged warehouse location for no less than one month, 30 days.

At the end of one month, if the property owner has not contacted you, you can move the merchandise to ether a dealer or an auction house for sell publicly.

Should the property owner contact you within the 30 day period after removal, you must negotiate the return of the items based on the owners yearly income, the value of the items, and if they want to pick them up or you deliver them to the original location. Any damage that occurred to the items or building or other property will be stetted at this time.

At this point, 40 percent will be paid to the American Union of Thieves, Crooks and Robbers. You must pay your helpers, your warehouse rent, any taxes and any other expenses from your 60 percent. This is payable on a quarterly basis. Failure to do so will have stiff penalties.

In exchange for paying this fee, we (The American Union of Thieves, Crooks and Robbers) will provide any legal assistance in any third party or other cases at a 50 percent discount. This discount does not include any ammunition used in these legal proceedings.

Should you fail to follow the above rules, stiff penalties might be incurred.

Thank you for supporting your local unions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this as a joke but after posting it, I am afraid we are moving towards something similar.