the more good you do, the more you suffer. satan in control?

As a Christian, we're taught everything in this life is temporary and the meaningful, everlasting rewards are in heaven. The least among us will receive the most. Convenient yes, but makes sense to me at this point in my life.

I've read a few NDEs (Near death experiences) and almost all of them claim there was no importance placed on trophies, but rather it was all about "relationships". A life review examining the outcomes of every interaction and how it was important to you and everyone else. They were also aware that murder and suicide (excluding medical reasons oddly) carried a lot of weight. You're here to experience things to "grow" spiritually, which is usually uncomfortable to say the least.

With out redemption, we are in grave danger.
The accuser gains control through shame.
if you are not good, you will feel shame, and it will justify the next and the next.

there is much more at stake than a pain free life.
happiness is a shallow ideal.

what I argue is not that one should not do good. But that one is not awarded for the good he did, rather he is punished. On contrary, the evildoers seem awarded, some of them quite much.

It is especially striking when that comes in the form of a Church unjust dictatorship (yes, there is NOTHING DEMOCRATIC inside the Church structures!). The Church (and first of all the Catholic Church but also the others) is a model of reward of bad behavior. And I don't mean the pedophilia scandal. I mean the methodical corruption and money laundering. And in the past the killing of people, the burning of people. But if today we do not have outright physical killing, nevertheless we have a spiritual such. How many youths have been taken away (and again, I do not mean the extreme but limited in number pedophilia cases, I mean all the rest 90%). How many life paths have been altered to the extend the young person completely loses his orientation and grows older in expectation of a kingdom of God that never comes on earth?

Why should the pope restrict his reform to only the politically correct issues? Indeed to feed the hungry is a worth noble task! But first of all he never did it, maybe blocked by the bureaucrats. And second, why didn't he clean up the mess in the Vatican? Why did we see only cosmetic restructuring, but NOT HUNDREDS OF RESIGNATIONS OF BISHOPS? Hundreds or thousands, whatever it takes!

Otherwise, the medieval satanic controlled Church will continue in 21st century with less overt but not less firm grip on power. Until its bitter end. Will that be the great harlot of revelation or not, IDK. Maybe we are not in that last moment at all.