Pilot for an animated show that I made

Hi all,

Last year a friend and I made this pilot episode for an animated show. Unfortunately it never got the interest we had hoped for from production companies. So now it is on the tube.

It's not really conspiracy related, although there is a long monologue about alien visitation that some might enjoy or find funny.
Anyway, there was no reason for it to just disappear, and we are curious to hear what people think about it. So if you have 10-15 minutes, please give it a look and comment here in the thread or like the video. Whatever you feel like.



Hope it made you smile.

a reply to: Mads1987

Which software did you use to make this? Animate, ToonBoom, After Effects...?

Sorry, watched for 2.33.

Boring as all hell.

Did I miss the jokes?

Who are you aiming this at?

P

a reply to: lostbook

We rigged the characters in Animate, and animated them there, and then put it all together in After Effects afterwards.
Personally I have a preference towards open source software. So we tried using OpenToonz a bit.
Also most of the illustrations were made in Krita and all sound design was made in Reaper. Both of which are free to download.

a reply to: pheonix358

No hard feelings.
My friend and I wrote it and frankly found it very hard to judge our own sense of humor. But in retrospect we have had to face the fact, that we properly aren't the best comedic writers out there, nor voice actors for that matter.

We're two guys who grew up watching South Park and such, and basically wanted to try and do something like that. So yes, it was meant to be funny. English isn't our first language, and perhaps we were to optimistic to think we could pull this of. Looking back at it now, it is also clear to me that the frequency with which we present jokes is much too low. I guess by the time you stop watching we had barely gotten started, not to say that it gets a lot better down the line. But I would say I usually chuckle at about 3-4 jokes throughout the whole thing. But even if that was enough I doubt that this alone would have been enough to hook anyone.
Because besides the humor being below average, there isn't any obvious story line to hook anyone.

It is possible that we put to much focus on the animation. Not sure if it shows, but there were not a lot of rewrites of the script. We kinda just hoped that it was "good enough".

a reply to: Mads1987

I think it is very original and I like it. Thank you for posting!

Keep writing. You guys are good. Write. Write. Write. Also do an improv if possible.

a reply to: ColoradoJens

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the encouragement.
We will keep writing, and hopefully we learn from our experiences.

Playing around with some improv actually sounds like a really good idea. I imagine it could properly help us practice both our acting abilities, and help us home in on what kinda humor we have or want to work with. Thanks again.

a reply to: Mads1987

If I could go back in time I would have listened to a producer of one of our movies.

Do improv and no matter what your repartee will get better.

You guys have something going. I went to school with Matt and Trey. I made shorts with their editor Todd Benson.

Literally write 2 hours a night from here on out and dont worry about the animation. You've got that down.

Rock on and good luck. Hope to hear from you guys in the future!

I agree that its unfunny, needs a ton more good jokes. It seems comedy ain't your thing.

The animation is great, but the characters have been done before.

If you grew up watching South Park and this is what you came up with, I'd say you need to watch it again. Im really not being nasty im giving constructive criticism.

You can tell by the lack of comments what others thought of it too

a reply to: SecretKnowledge

Can't say that I doesn't hurt to hear, but you are right.
Glad to hear you liked the animation. Essentially this tells us that we need to work more with the content rather than the animation. Perhaps try to find people to collaborate with - who knows.

I think I get what you are saying about rewatching South Park. But allow me to clarify a little bit, we never set out to copy South Park in any deliberate way. We just love adult oriented animation in general, and I guess we have always admired Matt and Trey's approach to animating and their originality for the time.

But thanks for taking the time anyway.

I randomly started it at 3 minutes and watched the entire thing and thought it was pretty funny. The commercials, LOL.

Cleaning house with Myriam was pretty good.

I like the randomness of it.

I think it has a lot of potential, but I agree it needs more work. I'm not sure if I like the two guys voices, specially the purple suit guy. Why is he so annoying in not the good way, lol. I almost didn't watch it because of him. He has to become more likable and less annoying if he's going to be a main person imo. But I like what he says like what he has to say is funny, so I think it's the voice.

Very cool animation, inspiring really!

a reply to: geezlouise

Thank you for the feedback.
I get what you are saying. I feel like both of us need to work on our voice work, but purple suit guy might have been straining his voice a bit to much come to think about it. I totally get how that could annoying old pretty fast, and that some of the jokes might get lost in all of that.

But perhaps if the characters had a bit more depth, that would also make them more engaging. Either way, thank you for taking the time and for the feedback.

Humor is subjective. I found it humorous. There are a lot of things I find hilarious that others find downright dumb.

Good job and kudos for putting it here for criticism--- and even more so accepting it graciously!