Random Thread

My wife and I invoke "cat law" often. If a cat is sleeping on you, the other person has to do what you need. I'm about to go on a grocery run for a load of tuna cans just to get these pricks on my side.

a reply to: sine.nomine

So I lost my job, and I called the number to cash out whatever pension money I had saved up because it won't transfer to my new job. I already paid taxes on it, but the federal govt gets another 20% "off the top". I was like what there's more taxes? Yes, there's also a fee and state taxes but your state wont tell you how much it is. Therefore you'll have to pay another 10% at the end of the year.

This entire time I'm talking to the lady who is just cackling her ass off, and I'm like yeah 20% that's totally fair, I get it. Oh another 10 on top of the next 10, sure, the government totally deserves it. Has my benefit application gone through because it's been like 12 weeks? No? Okay I'll continue to suck this shaft.

I'm losing hope here. I never ask for help, but this is getting dire. I cant even get my own money. That's enough to drive a man insane.

DP

I'm sorry.

I LOVE YOU!


Lol ETA I just noticed this. I never log in with a computer, and it just says I love you all over my background. Is that just me? Lol

Let's be honest, I love the fact my avatar background repeats "I love you" for some reason.

Am I the only one who mixes up the words tangerine and tambourine? I'm over here eating tambos and slapping fruit.

I dont know how long this forum will last so I'll say this messed up crap now.

When I was a child I had serious problems with plantar warts.

I remember being a kid and if I had a splinter, my mother would sit me down in that living room that was too nice for us to hang out in, and she'd take a razor and cut it out of me. I remember the contrast of the unnatural pastels of the room to what was actually happening.

I never thought this as being odd, and as my plantar warts got worse, I began trying to cut them out with fingernail clippers. Those pesky bastards always grew back with their long black deep seeded strands. I'd be spending nights next to my father, who'd be in the den a few beers back, just dabbing my blood rag and digging away.

Eventually I had 18 warts on my feet, one of them larger than a dime in diameter. I was studying the occult at the time and meditated on my warts being peas that I had buried, decaying under a thin layer of soil. They all disappeared in a few days after years of battling them once I did that.

It reminded me of my uncle who doused for water. He said, "I've done it, and it worked, but I'll still never believe it works." I thought he was an idiot at the time, but what can I say?

Does a biplane go both ways?

Some random woman looking about mid to late sixies, leather skin and petite build, and probably methed out as all hell just rapped on our door (10pm) asking for a man named Eli. Between us and the people who were here before us, its been at least 7 years since we havent know the people here. She was holding an envelope and insisted she always comes here to deliver her envelope.

My wife is scared, given our recent home invasion and our angry neighbor... I'm just really curious what was in the envelope.

I once worked in a kitchen at a restaurant. It was Oktoberfest, and the patrons wrote a note on the receipt in German. The waitress came back to the kitchen an asked me to translate, then asked if I could translate a note back, thus ensuring a good tip. I translated for her and asked how she knew I knew some German. She said she didn't, but figured if anyone could, itd be me.

My note back: this girl doesnt know German. We're happy you enjoyed your meal, from the kitchen.

She got a good tip regardless. Lol, good times.

You can hate what I do, but if you hate me, that's on you.

No matter our differences, let's get along over the holidays. Merry Christmas, and may God bless.

a reply to: sine.nomine

I kind of half jokingly told everyone I just wanted chocolate this year.
I've now got about five kilos!!!

Was tempted to melt some down and smear on some edible pyjamas.
Seemed like a good idea til I considered the washing.

Happy Xmas.