Covid-19 Community Support and Mental Wellness Thread

a reply to: Blaine91555

I passed that mark more than a handful of years ago.
I have managed, through no fault of my own, to have avoided very many of the afflictions of my peers.

I do fret, however, that it's all going to hit me at once at some point.

a reply to: Hefficide

Top thread and great job in making it

I have smashed everything. Everything.

Totally drunk but so what?

I murdered a coffee mug. Two, actually. I murdered a plate. Strange splinters all around my apartment.

Murdered my right hand bones. Somehow got into a fight with a wall and i lost that fight.

Please people. deal with this all better than i am doing. You deserve it. This is madness and i like ATS people.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Maybe you'll hit rock bottom and be able to push back up soon?

I truly hope so and send you all my prayers.

Just checking in to see how you all are!


I was on lockdown for 2.5 months. The first few weeks, I thought I was going to lose it.
Already going through a rough time, then being isolated in my place for so long.... I got really depressed.
No one to even talk with on the phone (except my therapist).
One night I decided to get drunk, hoping it would allow me to pass out and sleep. Started drinking cinnamon flavored whiskey (wow, I had never tried that - it is so good!). Got completely wasted. But it didn't make anything better... it got worse. All the emotions I have been trying to keep under control bubbled up, and I got suicidal. Made some failed attempts.

But then, after that, it was like I had hit rock bottom and there was nowhere else to go but up. I was ashamed of my crisis that night, and set out determined to get better. I thought about people in prison, and how they can use that time to grow. I started meditating at least once a day, I started going out on a long walk each day (as soon as it was allowed). I upped my exercise, ate healthy, made sure not smoke or drink alcohol.
Started to feel good, look good, think good. I actually began to appreciate this!

At about two months though, I just felt fed up and ready to emerge from this cocoon. The rules lightened up, I was allowed to return to the office part time. This week I am back full time, and restaurants and cafés are allowed to open. Social life is opening up slowly.

I just bought a home for myself! First time I have done anything like that alone. Got a promotion at work (the time working at home, doing the work of three people successfully allowed me to blow away my boss).
I plan out day trips each weekend for long hikes in nature, and am getting muscular and tan. Still haven't had an urge to drink - I've never drank regularly, but a binge night when low has been my behavior in the past.

I'm still a bit lonely, but appreciating the loss of some very toxic relationships from my life. Hoping to rebuild better ones.

I was able to use this isolated time to transform. It feels like I am a totally different person.
With everything else going on in the states, that is maybe a bit harder to do. But I truly hope for others that some can find some benefit in it too.

We all matter. Love yourself!!

originally posted by: Bluesma
a reply to: Finspiracy

Maybe you'll hit rock bottom and be able to push back up soon?

I truly hope so and send you all my prayers.

Hey darling.

They say, that when you are at the bottom, then only way is up. That is untrue. You can seek stuff dwelling at the bottom. You begin too see stuff. Sunken ships. Old tires. Rusted bicycles. Only way is not up. You can seek stuff at the bottom. Rock bottom.

I thank you whole heartedly, for your prayers.

I wish that i was human human enough to pay it back. To pray for you. I believe in God. Nothing can change that. I have prayed for 20 years in a row and my things went worse and worse all the time. And therefore, i am scared of praying on behalf of others. I summon unwanted beings.

Nevertheless, you have my good wishes and well vibes. My sincere thanks for responding to me. It may be only an ATS post for you, but it means the world to me dear human

Every time i lie down...every damn time. so this morning, i bladed. i am unfulfilled by what i did. i must be losing my touch in my old age. but hey, having fed the darkness that never shuts up at least ill be able to sleep now...for a while.

a reply to: Bluesma

I was able to use this isolated time to transform. It feels like I am a totally different person.

Sort of psychedelic.

Congrats on the purchase. Now comes the maintenance.

a reply to: Phage

Yes well said Phage.

My son finally went back to work now that our governor says it's a bit safer.. it's been about two weeks and hes talking about leaving the danged country!
His boss is bending over backwards to accommodate him. His job usually requires a trip or two to home depot to pick up appliances or other needed equipment but although there is a state mandate that masks be worn it seems no one is paying attention. So, someone else makes the run to home depot.. and my son picks up what he need from the shop... only the employees in the shop ain't paying attention either.. nor are the people in most of the resturants so there only a few places offering curbside service that he can swing by to grab lunch. And, then there is the hassle of trying to work while he is trying to protect himself in peoples homes... which, now get a call from the company telling them they need to wear a mask while he is in their homes. It is ridiculous!
I tried talking to him, suggesting that maybe he go talk to a doctor and find out for sure just how much risk the virus presents to him, since god only knows how much that we are reading is true. And, then it comes out... it doesnt matter because he would bring it home, and I am here, and I am high risk!!
We still cant get tested for the virus around here, let alone get an antibody test, which it is quite possible that we all have antibodies here.. but, no way to know for sure.

I am thinking maybe it would be better if I just moved out.
Cant afford to.. the kids really cant afford. And, it's not like I can drive myself around to get groceries and stuff anymore... let alone drive around looking for a cheap apartment. But, wth!! Hes blowing a good job because of me. So, I am seriously considering removing myself from the equation.

I am also seriously considering writing my governor a very angry letter and telling him that appearently his mask mandate is just too hard for people to abide by.
I am a disabled widow living on my social security benefits. I have managed not to need any additional help from the govt by sharing expenses with my sons. That will end though if I am forced to move into my own place....

All because half this country just cant be bothered to take some precautions to avoid spreading a virus that will probably end up killing over a quarter of a million people before its done!! Well done america!!!

Hi.
Just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread.
It is comforting to read about how we are all coping in our own ways, and living through this.
In my situation, I have only been out twice since mid February. Both times accompanying my husband, who has done the bulk of the food shopping since the start. Both times...I felt overcome with panic. The queues, the masks, the amount of people not recognising social distance guidelines...the unfamiliarity of a what was once a simple, mundane task, just seemed to morph into a dystopian type of nightmare.
Last time I went with him was about a month ago. I don't know if I can face it again.
But the biggest thing right now as we enter phase 2 of the easing up of restrictions is that I have not seen any family for 6 months now. And now I am afraid to see anyone.
We have two daughters, both work in the Health Service and between them 5 grand children. We have aging parents, who have health issues and have been shielding since lockdown began. I miss all of these beautiful people so much.
My husband and me live on a farm, very rural location, at least an hours drive from any family. We have had no visitors at all since a family Christmas at the farm.
I worry that I will never see our family again...obv we keep in touch via video messages atm, and it is a comfort to know they are all healthy. I know many people have lost family. It is heartbreaking just switching on the news these days.
I hate hearing the terms ' new normal ' and ' unprecedented '
Mentally I feel so not ready...to go out, to travel around .. to be near people. I wonder if I ever will be.
One of the most disturbing things I seen recently was a short govt guidance ad type thing, that was recommending breathing exercises for people to do when they become overwhelmed by the prospect of going outside again having been in lockdown for so long.
At first I was...oh it is not just me then ! And then I was hit with a wave of sadness...ohhh...it is not just me then.
I mean, is this it ?...from now on.
I try to be glass half full, most of the time. But I can't see a clear way back from this.

Thought this was quite a refreshing 'perspective' video.

a reply to: karl 12

Ummm...barely. Maybe if ur a goth kid. Lolz! Luv u tho!

a reply to: kosmicjack

Ha thanks my friend - hard videos for hard times.

Love you too.




Edit:



X

I'm back, again, after a far too long of an absence.

In the interim, while 2020 has kept on 2020ing, my own life has been a reflection of it as well. A cascading, domino effect of small disasters...

A few weeks ago I walked into my kitchen to find it flooded. A pipe inside of the wall had burst. It turns out the burst pipe had been leaking for a very long time with most of the water draining away from the house and underground - but in that process, had caused the backs of the cabinet bases to rot.

End result: My kitchen as it was two weeks ( ish ) ago, and as it mostly remains.



In the time since that kitchen has become the modern equivalent of King Tut's Tomb as everyone who interacts with it experiences the curse.

The contractor has experienced a myriad of set-backs. Family emergencies, ordering items for the job that showed as delivered but never arrived, a cut to his hand that required stitches and several days away to recover and an illness.

My landlord, who spent a day trying to "help" the contractor with the job was exposed to something that caused him, that night, to break out into full body hives and spend a night in the ER. He still has the hives and is on steroids and antihistamines for them.

But the worst... The absolute worst...

While taking things down the contractor asked me if I'd ever seen water bugs ( read German roaches ) in the house. I said "Yeah. We'd have a bit of an issue but I've been spraying and buying baits". He said he'd found a couple of nests and advised we call an exterminator, so I did.

The exterminator came and thoroughly sprayed the entire house. Something I was very grateful for and happy about.

For about a week.

I don't quite understand how it all happened, but after spraying the German roaches disappeared... But in their place a different species appeared, quickly and en masse... And immediately it was a total infestation. Darker, rounder, far more aggressive and disgusting roaches, everywhere and in everything.

I went from seeing a bug or two of one type, here and there, to walking into a room and seeing dozens of another species scurrying here and there. They were everywhere, in everything.

Two days ago I checked into a motel so that the exterminator could bomb the house overnight. I came home yesterday afternoon and spent the day cleaning and washing everything.

Today it's so far, so good... But the kitchen still looks like that picture and I'm cautiously awaiting the next installment of "Curse of the Kitchen Sink."

Oh, and it's still 2020 outside. so there's that.

a reply to: Hefficide

No worries.

'Bout two weeks should do it.



My killer cat caught two rats in two days last week.

a reply to: AmmoniaMudhemp

Strange Days Indeed.

This trip we're on now is like 911 without the airplanes.

Weird, this was in recent posts, indicated Salander posted 5 mins ago?? but the post indicates July 4??

Anyway, I'm hanging in there, not back to work as much as needed..when is going to end? asking for EVERYONE!!

Hope all is well with the rest of you.

originally posted by: Phage
a reply to: Hefficide

No worries.

'Bout two weeks should do it.

My killer cat caught two rats in two days last week.

We have a cat out at the farm, her name is Miss Meowgi she is such a savage, I'm thinking of re naming her Jeffery Dahmer, she keeps leaving us heads and so on..lol

Dang Heff, your story frightens me. The "king tuts tomb curse" did make me chuckle though, I must admit.

I hope things turn around for you quickly.