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originally posted by: Hefficide
Funny bit of irony,
A friend texted me basically asking if I had any advice for dealing with the enhanced anxiety and depression levels that he's feeling due to current world situations.
My advice to him was that I do all I can to distract myself when things get bad. Watch something on streaming ( YouTube, movies or binge watch shows ), read a book, play video games, write, take apart my computers, clean and rebuild them - whatever works at any given time.
Now I feel a bit hypocritical for that advice because I've done all the things on my list today - several times over and for about 5 or 10 minutes each try. Every attempt at distractions fails almost immediately. I can't get my mind to focus on any of it.
I'm not fixated on what's going on. I'm not afraid. I'm just so subconsciously keyed up that my mind is unable to lock on any single thing.
This is the aspect of PTSD that''s so difficult to explain to others. It's not the surface level anxiety or fear that's hard - the sort of feeling most people think of and have experienced. It's the anxiety that's deep down in the dark waters that has no discernible shape or form that's the real hassle.
originally posted by: ChiefD
I’m retired for good from the workforce, and am 55 years old. I’m an introverted homebody for the most part. What makes this more difficult for me and my mental health is the fact that my husband of 27 years had a stroke on February 8. He spent five days in the hospital where they did a number of tests. He couldn’t move anything on his right side, and had a lot of confusion and aphasia. On February 14, he was admitted to a nursing home for rehab. I had hopes he would recover and come back home.
But in his first couple of weeks at the nursing home, he actually got a little worse. He couldn’t remember who my parents were, nor his date of birth, or the names of his children or grandchildren. The doctor thinks he had more TIA’s (small strokes). But sending him back to the hospital for more invasive testing would not be a good thing and the doctor didn’t recommend that. I agreed with the doctor. A little later, I had a care conference with the heads at the nursing home. They stated, very nicely and gently to me, that they did not think my husband would recover well enough to come home. He requires 24 hour around the clock care and cannot do much for himself. The nursing home is taking very good care of him.
Per a Wisconsin state mandate by the governor, all nursing homes were closed to visitors effective March 12. I have not seen my husband since then, but try and call him 2-3 times a day. He is 67 years old and has multiple things like heart disease, obesity, type II diabetes and chronic lung disease. I’m terrified he will get COVID-19 and die. I feel like I’m losing my mind some days. I feel disconnected and isolated. I try and get outside to take walks. Fortunately I live in a medium town of 25,000 people, and I don’t run into too many other people. I get bouts of depression and crying jags. My panic attacks, which all but disappeared once I retired, are back big time. I worry about having one in public. The last time I went grocery shopping, I thought I was going to start screaming.
I know lots of people are worried about COVID-19. I am very worried I will get sick. But I’m terrified for my husband. I’m trying to be “strong” but I am really sucking at that. I called and talked to my Mom today. I was a mess, crying and felt terrible. I don’t want to stress the rest of my family with this. But I felt better after our phone call.
I just keep telling myself “this too shall pass.” After this COVID-19 thing fades off, I will look for a therapist to talk to or a support group. Thanks for listening.
originally posted by: Phage
Everyone needs a golden retriever. I have one. He is very red. But, I'm sorry to say, not as smart as this guy.
I think Tucker might accidentally eat the groceries.
originally posted by: slatesteam
Thank you Heff, my name is Oliver. I have so much appreciation for this thread and everyone willing to contribute. I am finding this whole paradigm shift unsettling as well. Never had panic or anxiety attacks (once chemically induced) but since the middle of February, I’ve been experiencing waves of grief, loss, uncontrollable anxiety, and a new wave of depression. In some ways this feels like 9/11 all over again and I think it’s triggered an adverse response in me. Of great magnitude.
Preparing to lose my grandfather to this as he’s in a home is a real and present threat I’m not ready for. The sheer risk and danger to our Drs, Nurses, and healthcare workers is too staggering to comprehend for me. Let alone the economic impact and the social implications for out time..
I always have an uneasy feeling I’d be alive to see great waste and vast suffering without wanting/willing it to happen. Plenty of doom porn out there. No need to feed it. It’s just been a feeling. And now this....
For the first time in my life I almost appreciate not being married or having children. Almost. But the crushing loneliness and nursing a wounded heart are crippling. Trying to quit smoking during this stressful time is proving tough. But it must be done.
I am wishing us all the best in these unprecedented and unfortunate times. Uncharted territory for sure. So the most genuine and warm healing thoughts, good vibes, and all the LOVE my soul can muster to all of you. To everyone everywhere.
If anyone wants to chat please don’t hesitate to DM me,
I just joined Instagram during this time, not sure that the timing is great. But without being a government spy or having my own family (no need for cover), just know I’m here if anyone needs to reach out and wants a comforting ear. I’ll try to keep it together for both our sakes. I’m also on Xbox 1, for the gamers out there. Same SN across the board. Call me Slate or Oli. Lol You and Yours Be well ATS
Here’s a Metta mediation for you. It’s all I got besides the earnest tears streaming down my face, and the hope someday this will all be okay. Truly....
May you all dwell in safety
May your hearts be happy and healthy
May your breath be free
May your minds be clear and grounded
May you all be free from affliction
May you all be at peace