If Aliens Offered To Solve One Problem

originally posted by: EnhancedInterrogator

originally posted by: Stupidsecrets
If they visited and said they would show us how to solve one problem but that's it what do you think we would choose?

What:

• Unlimited clean cheap (or even free) energy.
  

Why:

• Most other (non-political) problems can be solved by zapping it with enough juice (and maybe some political ones too).
  

.

But then all of Appalachia will be out of a job ( coal) and theyll all turn to opiates or space-crack or whatever to quell the despair and the potholes in roads will be big enough to swallow cars.. adn theyll turn to cannibalism. Itll be total cannibal wrong turn stuff in 3 states. Why would you do that?? Are you evil? A misanthrope? Hate Appalachians?

originally posted by: olaru12
Raise the overall intelligence of Americans so they wouldn't worship clowns.

Agreed. Okay well that takes care of the Left.

**snicker**

originally posted by: Advantage
But then all of Appalachia will be out of a job ( coal) and theyll all turn to opiates or space-crack or whatever to quell the despair and the potholes in roads will be big enough to swallow cars.. adn theyll turn to cannibalism. Itll be total cannibal wrong turn stuff in 3 states. Why would you do that?? Are you evil? A misanthrope? Hate Appalachians?

Enough Amps (properly applied) could probably solve those problems too.
:-)

a reply to: AmmoniaMudhemp
wtf, who really want to live forever?? Only a coward I am sure.
No, I think one of the things they can help us solve are producing hydrogen in an energy efficient manner, or that good 'ol cold fusion.

I prefer the hydrogen production efficiency myself, but maybe those in the know consider Fusion to be a better option?? Hey, if they can just give us one I could really care less. That way our fighter jets, bombers and tanks can use cleaner methods of propulsion.

Ask them how we can stop destroying ourselves.

Assuming we hadn't destroyed them before the subject came up.

originally posted by: olaru12
Raise the overall intelligence of Americans so they wouldn't worship clowns.

I'm sure you meant this as a political comment, but Americans (along with everybody else, apparently) really worship our entertainers / sports figures much more than politicians. More people know who Taylor Swift is than who their congressional representative is.

The root of hate would need to be addressed , I think.

If every discovery that man makes is to weaponized then I see no point in discovering anything else.

The last thing mankind needs is a new way to cause harm and hardship on each other.

a reply to: EnhancedInterrogator

They would probably respond they can't give us the key to free energy, because we already have it. But anyone to releases that information is quietly and quickly eliminated. I would imagine the oligarchs would 'sacrifice' 50% of humanity to keep that secret.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know!

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Sustainability without war.

originally posted by: Stupidsecrets
If they visited and said they would show us how to solve one problem.

They are us in the future visiting at any timeline they wish. They/we are on the path of destruction and know it (desperate). Everything is happening at once (hard concept here).

originally posted by: FreeFalling
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know!

Solved:

• Make somebody lick said Tootsie-Pop at least once a minute, with a counter that increments every time they do.
  
• Connect them to a machine that shocks them with electricity if they do not lick it at least once every minute.
  
• Release the test subject once the center of the Tootsie-Pop is reached, and get the data from the counter.
  

See, proper application of Amps, solves another one!

.

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Aliens, whatever or whoever they are, I doubt have a clue how to help the human race.

Unless, as the AA theorists espouse, they are God. Then according to these religious scriptures there’s only one-way God deals with humanity he supposed to have created, and that’s some form of destruction. Cosmic ass-whipping of immense proportions.

Floods, earthquakes, sending armies of killers and rapists, plaques, and all kinds of bad stuff. After all of that then he creates Hell as if we weren't already IN SOME KIND OF HELL.

I would forget the aliens

a reply to: EnhancedInterrogator

Might not be EXACT quote, but close ...

From Running Scared (1986):

(Billy Crystal) "Try not to scrape the third rail, OK? There's about 600 volts in there."
(Gregory Hines) "It's not the voltage that gets you. It's the amps."
(Billy Crystal) "How many amps are in there?"
(Gregory Hines) "Enough to push a train."

Infinite Ammunition.

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Teach us quantum assembly. I want to dump out a vial of "stuff" loaded with instructions onto a pile of toxic waste and have it turned into whatever I want, made of whatever materials I wish.

Should mean an immediate end to scarcity. And a lot of gaudy structures dotting the landscape for awhile until people get over the novelty.

originally posted by: olaru12
Raise the overall intelligence of Americans so they wouldn't worship clowns.

I entirely agree.

Ask the aliens to get rid of the Democratic Clown Show.

Maybe nuke them from space...

Just to be safe.

originally posted by: Blue Shift

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: Stupidsecrets

How to take the hangover out of the tequila.

Ever try milk thistle/dandelion capsules? Eat a few of those before and after and no hangover. Something about them absorbing the toxins in alcohol and moving them out of your body before they have a chance to do any damage. Works great for some people. You gotta plan ahead a little, though.

I take milk thistle every day, actually.

I was kinda being cheeky with my post because nothing gives me a hangover but tequila.

But I really like tequila one a week.

the greatest threat to the planet would be climate change, which isn't a hoax.

originally posted by: EnhancedInterrogator

Enough Amps (properly applied) could probably solve those problems too.
:-)

We used to have a saying in EOD, "There is no problem that cannot be solved with the proper application of high explosives"