Arrogance and Hypocrisy

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: Nothin
a reply to: Sheye

Hi Sheye.
Am allergic to arrogance, but it seems like mine stinks more that another's.
For another may not know better.

We recognize these things in ourselves, no ?

Yours stinks more than others ? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Don’t know you personally.

I see hypocrisy in myself and at times, a tad of arrogance though I’m more apt to suffer from low self esteem.

I see it in spades in others and honestly is nauseating to me.

I know I probably shouldn’t care but its just a reaction I get that’s hard to control.

But mirrors are good.. I don’t fear them .. and I wish more people used them to really see how hypocritical they are.

Good that you are familiar with mirrors.

Some say that we see easiest in others, that which we recognize in ourselves.
Just as it's not easy to not judge others: it's also not easy to not judge ourselves, and be gentle and understanding with ourselves.

Is 'low self-esteem': a label that somebody has slapped on you ?
What if they're just expressing their opinion, and they're not right ?
Is it not a 'comparative' label, that misses-out on the complexity, and nuances of 'you' ?

a reply to: StallionDuck

I’m so truly sorry .. I’ve gotten sort of used to people twisting things on me with accusations that I often jump to that conclusion.

Still not sure about people calling out what they hate most about themselves, but I will pay more attention to that in the future.

Once again .. my apologies for jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. Hard to let go of past head games at times.

a reply to: Sheye

Arrogance was always my greatest weakness. I still work on trying to humble myself daily.

It's never easy. The suffering of life can be unbearable at times.

For me personally, my arrogance was a reaction to the many years of being treated like complete # by the people that were supposed to be good to me.

Eventually it got so bad that I perceived everyone as if they thought they were better than me, and I couldn't stand it. My arrogant view was a defense mechanism to protect my fragile psyche from the abuse.

I grew strong and proud in order to cope with my internal insecurities that fear I'm less than everyone else.

In the end I became more insecure and desperate, and the arrogant ego proved itself more troublesome than the ridicule and prejudice I was trying to escape from.

I just wanted to be loved, it was that simple. Falling into arrogance definitely didn't help solve that problem.

What happened was that my feelings went into the pit and my problems grew until they consumed me and shattered my psyche completely.

I've become much more distant and quiet. I just sit and think a lot.

I don't believe in anything. I lost touch with this world completely. I lost my faith in everything pretty much over the years, but at the same time I decided only to have Faith in God now.

I believe one day things will change, so I'll be patient.

I don't really care about what ppl say much these days because I know they too will suffer and eventually see the truth of how cruel and heartless they were.

So I can just let go of it all.
I have to or it'll wreck me.

a reply to: Sheye

Just a thought....

But what you are describing (others thinking they or their religious beliefs are better then you because of your personal religious beliefs) to me is not arrogance.

It's bigotry.

Our current American culture is rife with examples of bigotry towards others with differing religious beliefs.

If you are bigoted towards Christians now for instance, you are celebrated for it.

Which is particularly sad in a place like America, where one of our civil rights is freedom OF religion.

Not freedom FROM it.

A bigot is a hater, she said. A bigot hates Catholics. A bigot hates Jews. … It's no sin to be poor, she said. It is a sin to be a bigot. Don't ever be one of them.

— Pete Hamill, A Drinking Life, 1994

Not a Christian (and not religious, I'm spiritual) but you get my drift.

S&F for the OP because it's something to discuss and think about....

I am not religious, but from my point of view anyone that would judge someone else’s spiritual beliefs is an asshole. This includes atheists.

No one can prove their point of view therefore any belief system is ultimately an act of faith. Again, this includes atheists.

I would suggest we all let others believe what ever spiritual belief brings them peace...even if that is no belief at all.

a reply to: Nothin
I will address your post later .. I am expected elsewhere soon.

You make some great points .. but I also disagree with a few statements.

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: Trueman
a reply to: Sheye
I have to deal with arrogance everyday. Nothing makes me think it'll get better.

It sucks.. doesn’t it 😕
Then again maybe you’ve just become immune to it ? Hope so .. I don’t like the nauseous feeling I get.. hopefully it goes away. 😂

Well, you just keep going when you know you're not the problem.

a reply to: Sheye

Don’t confuse arrogance with confidence. Sometimes it looks the same. If you want to witness hypocrisy just watch Adam Schiff for 5 minutes.

a reply to: Sheye

No sorrows needed

It's almost expected here. Though, I've gotten used to the folx around here that are genuine (whether I agree with them or not) and there are 'others' that are just.. angry

It's true, it rubs off. I try to stay clear but sometimes it's just fun to throw a little monkey poo back at them. You could make a post here about flowers and if there is one minute blemish on the topic for some possible reason, someone will be there to point it out with the utmost disdain! lol

Still, it's not easy to know the true intent of words in a post or response because for some strange reason everything seems to have two meanings and who knows... I might be just so self loathing enough to take it the wrong way at times.

Still not sure about people calling out what they hate most about themselves, but I will pay more attention to that in the future.

To be 100% honest, I can't really say that's the case either but I never really look for it. I believe it was an old schoolyard defense or things that were always said to ease the bullied victim. Personally, I blame anger as a substitute emotion. But jealousy is a pretty lousy b!tch too.

Still, I'm only guessing until something better comes along to lead me to think otherwise It's unfortunate that a good chunk of that does come from our surroundings, upbringing and habits taken from the parents. I'd say we're pretty much all flawed in more than a few ways, some minor and some not but that's something else entirely. But of course it's all subjective.

a reply to: Lumenari

Our current American culture is rife with examples of bigotry towards others with differing religious beliefs.

Sadly, I think the world is on board with that one. They say - Never speak about Politics, Religion or Sex - If you kept those things out of the conversation, everyone would get along. Makes sense.

I was born and raised Catholic. I claim it because I feel like I should, at least while I'm still searching. I don't mind knowing what's broken in this church. I don't mind when prophecy could possibly link to this church based on whats broken and how broken it may be. That's all knowledge for me to make my own choices. I also really enjoy 'understanding' other religions. I want to find the right patch in my own spiritual search for truth.

When someone reminds you over and over about the bad of 'my' church, still it's not a big deal if it's factual. When it becomes opinion and accusation while acting like the church defines everyone in it - politics - that bugs me a little. Complete and total ignorance of 'my' culture and 'my' church and saying things that aren't true - that tops it all.

Catholics worship saints... This is a very ignorant statement. I believe language fails us. It seems that proper words are used for improper explanations. Worship and Pray are two very different things but for some reason they're used interchangeably. Then the general understanding of words and not their full meaning. All fun stuff.

Still. I agree with you. It's not cool to poke at what's personal to someone else. Anything can be better said constructively without belittling someone else on their beliefs. That's such hatred and it breeds hatred like the ripples of a rebounding wave.

a reply to: StallionDuck

Sadly, I think the world is on board with that one. They say - Never speak about Politics, Religion or Sex - If you kept those things out of the conversation, everyone would get along. Makes sense.

I think that train left the station a long time ago, unfortunately.

But on the subject of talking about your personal religion online...

Why all the angst and derision towards someone who believes differently then you do on the topic?

Let the Christians hash out their thoughts, let the Buddhists do the same, let the atheists hash out what they think amongst each other.

There is no reason to pop into a Christian thread to crap on the religion as I've seen many times on ATS.

There is no "correct" religion anyways.

It's a personal choice, a personal decision.

People should respect that.

I am probably like you in that I too have a deep interest in the different religions of the world both past and present.

I think the real "truth" of the matter is probably going to be found in a mixture of them and is never going to be a "one size fits all" solution.

The numbers are wrong, heres a chart from a joke video that you can take literally.

originally posted by: muzzleflash
a reply to: Sheye

Arrogance was always my greatest weakness. I still work on trying to humble myself daily.

It's never easy. The suffering of life can be unbearable at times.

For me personally, my arrogance was a reaction to the many years of being treated like complete # by the people that were supposed to be good to me.

Eventually it got so bad that I perceived everyone as if they thought they were better than me, and I couldn't stand it. My arrogant view was a defense mechanism to protect my fragile psyche from the abuse.

I grew strong and proud in order to cope with my internal insecurities that fear I'm less than everyone else.

In the end I became more insecure and desperate, and the arrogant ego proved itself more troublesome than the ridicule and prejudice I was trying to escape from.

I just wanted to be loved, it was that simple. Falling into arrogance definitely didn't help solve that problem.

What happened was that my feelings went into the pit and my problems grew until they consumed me and shattered my psyche completely.

I've become much more distant and quiet. I just sit and think a lot.

I don't believe in anything. I lost touch with this world completely. I lost my faith in everything pretty much over the years, but at the same time I decided only to have Faith in God now.

I believe one day things will change, so I'll be patient.

I don't really care about what ppl say much these days because I know they too will suffer and eventually see the truth of how cruel and heartless they were.

So I can just let go of it all.
I have to or it'll wreck me.

Thank you for an incredibly honest and almost heartbreaking post. I too have suffered from a lot of arrogant type judgement all my life and maybe I have built walls of defence that are unhealthy too ?

I will say this though.. to me you are one of the wisest, kindest contributors here. I appreciate all your posts and they have helped me and speak to me on a deeper level than many others. Thank you for that.

I understand why you have lost faith in humanity and why you go to God for love. I think many of us feel that way.

Wishing you peace .. and hope in joyful after life.

We're the Founding Father's arrogant?

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: Sheye

Just a thought....

But what you are describing (others thinking they or their religious beliefs are better then you because of your personal religious beliefs) to me is not arrogance.

It's bigotry.

Our current American culture is rife with examples of bigotry towards others with differing religious beliefs.

If you are bigoted towards Christians now for instance, you are celebrated for it.

Which is particularly sad in a place like America, where one of our civil rights is freedom OF religion.

Not freedom FROM it.

A bigot is a hater, she said. A bigot hates Catholics. A bigot hates Jews. … It's no sin to be poor, she said. It is a sin to be a bigot. Don't ever be one of them.

— Pete Hamill, A Drinking Life, 1994

Not a Christian (and not religious, I'm spiritual) but you get my drift.

S&F for the OP because it's something to discuss and think about....

Thanks for a fantastic post with so much truth to it.

I’ve probably been guilty of bigotry at times myself regarding religion, but no one can convince me that extreme actions in some religions, such as the extreme Muslims who murder infidels for Allah, is not something we shouldn’t collectively try and put a stop to. But that’s not bigotry in my eyes.. that’s just common sense.

I appreciate your contribution to the thread. 👍🏼

a reply to: Sheye

Once you harm others because of a personal ideology then it is no longer just a personal belief.

Then it is something that society as a whole needs to condemn.

Im seen as arrogant.. aloof.. an ahole.. I never cared really what others thought. I htink that state of being unaware how others see the arrogance is part of being truly arrogance. As Ive gotten older Ive seen the sense in TRYING to cultivate some humility in myself and work on it all the time. I fail a lot, but I keep trying to strike a balance. I DO feel superior to others.. but I DO try to temper that and I work on that as well. Unfortunately trying to strike a balance has made my reactions to things pretty unpredictable to people who know me or are around me a lot. Keep them guessing... and on their toes. It used to be a conscious thing to make myself humbled or etc.. now its habit. Im still pretty darn unpredictable though!

If we dont recognize our flaws not only are we lying to ourselves, but we are not really experiencing things properly ( or maybe fully is a better term). I think its also important to recognize sometimes the arrogant part of some of us makes it possible to do things that others cant even attempt. I WILL win, I WILL accomplish whatever is it.. sometimes arrogance gets you through. It certainly has me in several intense situations.

I was greatly humbled during one of my adventures this past year. One thing in particular... I was on a small boat and Im not a water person. I was raised on the Gulf, but I have always liked to see land. LOL! I was in the pacific on a small boat with no land in sight. Ive never seen the stars to clearly and even at my age discovered new beauty in the night sky. I felt this state of being only an observer of something vast and dangerous.. but not actually interacting with it. Unfortunately.. or fortunately... I also experienced a humbling terror.. the doldrums. Its no joke.. its so surreal and you see just how small you are in the grander scheme of things. Your senses are foreign and things dont work like they do on land or on a sea in motion. You go a little mad for a time. A good madness I think. After the fact anyway!

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: Sheye

Once you harm others because of a personal ideology then it is no longer just a personal belief.

Then it is something that society as a whole needs to condemn.

Totally agree !

I do need to remind myself to try and keep my beliefs more private, and work on my internal spiritual life through prayer. I’ve been guilty of wanting everyone to believe in my ‘truth’ at times , not fully realizing how everyone has the freedom to choose their own journey in searching for ‘truth’ and peace.

I honestly think a lot of Christians push their beliefs because they either feel they should because of bible verses saying to spread the good news, or because they legitimately care for the future and well being of others souls. I think many in other religions are like that as well.

I think some atheists have taken many years of reading and thinking about things before they came to their conclusion of ‘truth’. Perhaps they will change someday .. as any of our spiritual beliefs could.

I am hardwired to be a Christian and feel that I won’t ever change, despite falling short of everything a Christian should be at times. Honestly, I’m embarrassed at how I’ve failed at my faith ... and wonder if people from other faiths and spiritual paths feel the same at times.

Did I mention in the OP that I can be arrogant and hypocritical at times, too ? It can be a contentious battle against ego at times, but it’s a battle worth fighting for me... and someday I hope the war is over and I finally get to rest in true peace, love, and deep joy.

a reply to: Advantage

Excellent honest post !

I think it’s great you clearly see what you need to consciously work on.. even if you didn’t always feel that way.

Failing only happens because you’re trying .. and that is what matters most.

Wishing you the best in taming your arrogance.😏

a reply to: Sheye

Dealing with what's inside is the most important first step, isn't it? How else can we ever find true lasting happiness? We have to fix what's wrong with us and accept and embrace the truth of who we actually are.