posted on Jan, 23 2020 @ 03:06 PM
originally posted by: DiddyC
Hi ATS I'm finally here, after 10 yrs of hiding, daring not to post, but you no what.. I've had enough of all this poop going on and I thought you
know what sod it! So here I am
So then, you already know everybody here, right??
Have you already been to the ATS clinic to get your shots? Over to the Quartermaster's office and gotten your standard issue hip-waders, fireproof
nomex under-roos and your ATS book bag full of rocks? If not, you need to do this straight away! Then you need to go over to the Science building to
be fitted for your tinfoil helmet. From there, you need to proceed directly over to the Indoctrination building for your 'Mind-Meld' with DTOM on the
T&C's. Oh, and pay attention because there IS a quiz!
By about this time the mind altering drugs will be starting to wear off and it will be time for your lunch break. You'll have an overwhelming urge to
consume just ridiculous amounts of cabbage for no apparent reason during your lunch break. The cafeteria offers 17 different kinds of cabbage. Just
go with it; everyone else had to go through it too. Oh, and don't worry, the restrooms behind the ATS cafeteria have plenty of TP and complimentary
The afternoon sessions are mostly about how to endure relentless beatings and floggings, ad hominem attacks and self-mutilation. Let's see, did I
miss anything? ...
Oh yeah, outside on the Quad before your afternoon sessions there will be tables of ATS activist groups trying to offer you red or blue colored
goggles, and imploring you to sign over your soul to their side in the 'Mud Pit'. I recommend avoiding these guys initially; a lot of them phart a
lot and don't have very good personal hygene most of the time. And watch out for the baby-eaters.
Anyway, ....WELCOME TO ATS!!
(Life as you knew it is now officially OVER...you belong to US now!)
edit on 1/23/2020 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)