I'm spending your inheritance

I just heard a conversation over my office wall that got me thinking; two colleagues of mine where having a friendly conversation about their dream of retirement and one said to the other, referring to his daughter, "Sorry Maria, I'm spending your inheritance..."

Now I personally don't expect my own parents to leave me anything much when they pass on; mostly because they don't have very much to start with and what they do have will likely go to medical and elderly living expenses. Whats left over will than need to be split three ways between my siblings and I (even if whats left over is a negative number). Now to be clear, my parents are the type to give strangers the shirt off their backs, if they had the means they would leave me the world and I in turn will happily pick up what ever elderly expense they might not be able to afford themselves. We are that type of blue collar family.

The gentleman having the conversation in my office aren't in the same boat. They do have the means to leave something material to their children (as will I, hopefully, when I reach their age). Their's is a willing and deliberate choice if they leave nothing for their children when they pass on. To be clear I have no idea what my colleagues are really planning to do; and it is irrelevant to my thoughts; they are both warm and caring people from my perspective.

But their conversation did get me wondering how the different generations view inheritance, both giving and receiving. I tried to find some real figures regarding the topic but all I could find was generational baiting articles. So I figured I'd ask the real people on this message board what they thought on the topic.

So what generation do you belong to; and what do you think about inheritance, both giving it and receiving it.

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Depending on how you define it; I am either the last of the GenX generation or the first of the Millennials. My view on inheritance is that it is very important for me to leave as much as I can to my children, even at my own expense both health and entertainment wise.

Times and life are tough and I don't see things getting better, I think my kids will need all the help they can get and I signed up for that job when I decided to have children.

I also look at those people who are of better means then myself and very few of them got to where they are on their own; I am a big believer in generational wealth building. When I die it isn't the end of the game, my personal success will me measured beyond that point; if I think its important to save now for when I am older, than its also logical to save for when I am dead.

interesting OP

We, are miles apart
this Boomer, Trump is 2 years older than myself, is a cranky pragmatist... my son & daughter and their children might drink a farewell 'toast' to my remembrance at my Wake, with the Urn of Ashes

Only thing I want to leave my kids are fond memories, and a path towards a happy life in which you don't rely on material goods. Wealth does not buy happiness, I know that. I went from well into 6 figures to being a barber, and I am much happier now. I hope to pass this lesson to my children.

Oh, and I was born in 81', so genx or millenial, idk. I come from blue collar, lower income family, so I connect more with Genx myself.

Only thing I am getting from my parents is bills. No inheritance. Part of it is that they weren't financially savvy, but the other part is they did sacrifice a lot to give me opportunities they didn't have. So no hard feelings.

My wife's parents may leave a sizable estate. However, it just depends on the medical situation. Also have to split with her brother, but the bottom line is they are loaded. We haven't had the "conversation" with them and don't ask for anything or even expect it, so who knows what their plans are for wealth transfer.

Even if we don't get an inheritance, I'd guess our kids would get a sizable estate. Both wife and I have multi-million dollar insurance polices. We've done pretty well for retirement. They'd get something. My goal is so that they can do things I couldn't do, but not to make it so they don't have to work.

The upper classes definitely believe in wealth transfer and making life easier for their kids. I work in mortgage finance and was blown away at how many people I saw who got significant down payments and other gifts from parents. I used to always wonder how some people I knew could afford certain properties until I realized they were getting help from parents or had received large inheritances.

I think passing on wealth to kids when they are grounded can definitely make life easier and help them pursue careers and other endeavors they may have passed up over finances. However, there is a fine line between spoiling and ruining your children if they don't have to work for anything. Most of hte folks I know seem to be well grounded. They get say $500k which helps not having to worry about bills, they still need careers, etc. On the other hand, when I see people getting millions at a young age, they seem to be screwed up.

a reply to: DanDanDat

I'm amazed at how many people don't purchase life insurance policies. That is the easiest way to ensure you can pass on wealth to your kids.

This is why (in the fine tradition of Obamacare) there should be a "birth tax" (we'll call it a tax but it's actually a fine for being stupid and reproducing when you're poor and stupid). Let's just be arbitrary and unrealistic and say raising a kid right can be done for only a million dollars.

So this "tax" is due on the day the child is born and if it isn't paid, the parents get placed in "government housing" with their child. Now in plain English, this government housing is actually a prison camp for stupid people but to keep things from sounding mean, we'll call it "subsidized living for needy families".

In this way, we keep costs down and we control the outcome as much as possible. The children of stupid people get next generation government cheese that secretly sterilizes them so it doesn't happen again. You see. We have to wait for this because we can't just take stupid people and sterilize them before they've proved they can't do the right thing.

originally posted by: BrianFlanders
This is why (in the fine tradition of Obamacare) there should be a "birth tax" (we'll call it a tax but it's actually a fine for being stupid and reproducing when you're poor and stupid). Let's just be arbitrary and unrealistic and say raising a kid right can be done for only a million dollars.

So this "tax" is due on the day the child is born and if it isn't paid, the parents get placed in "government housing" with their child. Now in plain English, this government housing is actually a prison camp for stupid people but to keep things from sounding mean, we'll call it "subsidized living for needy families".

In this way, we keep costs down and we control the outcome as much as possible. The children of stupid people get next generation government cheese that secretly sterilizes them so it doesn't happen again. You see. We have to wait for this because we can't just take stupid people and sterilize them before they've proved they can't do the right thing.

Hitler, is that you?

/facepalm

I feel that whatever is left for my kids to pick through when I die should be theirs. I will be dead. I won't care. Only the living care about inheriting things.

Me, I suppose when certain people die I will be in for a little bit, but aside from paying off bills and maybe a nice vacation, maybe a little nicer home and wheels, it won't matter much in the big picture.

Now my kids on the other hand, they have a false sense of what things cost in the physical world. What security is, what it means to feel accomplished. They (with one exception of the three) seem to think that "money does not matter" while at the same time expecting me to buy every fart handle they see. Too much commie philosophy going around these days and its going to make for some very unhappy LIVING people after I am hopefully long gone.

a reply to: DanDanDat

I hope to share with my kids everything that I have while I'm alive. I will leave enough for burial expenses and to take care
of business and that's it.

My parents have left all the inheritance to me, and it will be an utter and complete shock to
one of my siblings. The other sibling asked and I told him straight up, I'm getting everything. He is ok with that.
My parents went through a lawyer and made sure there was no way my sibling could fight and win.
They even got doctors notes saying they were of sound mind.

It is going to go over like an explosion when it happens. One sibling will fight it, and basically cut off their nose to spite their face. They have already tried to get things that were given to me. I even feared they were going to steal it from my house while visiting. (something sentimental, & yes they have stolen things from other relatives)

The most ironic thing is, I am the most well off, and I don't care about my parents money/house/stuff (with the exception of a few sentimental items). They have had decades long battles with the other two, sometimes going years without talking. They have already given me all the antiques I could ever want, and some to my adult kids.

a reply to: Edumakated

I haven't witnessed the pitfalls of inheriting to much to early as you describe; but on a similar topic I mentally grapple with the idea of helping my own children pay for their education when it comes time.

There where a lot of valuable lessons I learned paying my own way through college that have had a direct impact on my career and any success I might have. But on the other hand having to pay my way through College there where sacrifices I had to make that might have equally contributed to my success. Not having to work a 40 hour job could have meant I studied and learned more, going to a better college could have helped with networking. Now I didn't have a choice, life dictated how I was going to pay for college. Hopefully my kids, and myself, will have options when it comes time for them to go to school (or not go); .... how do you know when you are giving to much money to kids not ready to have it?

----

Life insurance is a good way to leave money; unfortunately whole life doesn't have the same return on the investment as other more traditional investment tools. I have a policy myself, but often wondered if I should dump it and invest the cash value in something else.

a reply to: DanDanDat

I am an early Gen X, my parents are Boomers. My dad has already informed us that he is leaving everything to his wife with the exception of a few personal mementos (and a few items that he has already given to me, not sure about siblings). His take on it is that he raised us and taught us to do for ourselves and that is the best thing he could ever give us- which I agree with. I'm sure our mom ( parents divorced and both remarried) will leave us a small amount of money, enough to each take our families on a really nice vacation or what not, but she plans on spending the bulk of savings on living her best life- and I agree with that as well. I do not feel "entitled" to all they have worked so hard for, it is theirs to do with as they wish.

As far as our own children (we have 2 Millenials and 2 Gen Z between us) there will for certain be lots of old pictures, antiques and personal mementos but as far as money goes? If we spend it all that is OUR business. If we leave them a little something, fine. If we leave them with nothing but an old house, a few antiques and some mementos that is fine as well. If they feel "entitled" to anything more then they are mistaken.

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: BrianFlanders
This is why (in the fine tradition of Obamacare) there should be a "birth tax" (we'll call it a tax but it's actually a fine for being stupid and reproducing when you're poor and stupid). Let's just be arbitrary and unrealistic and say raising a kid right can be done for only a million dollars.

So this "tax" is due on the day the child is born and if it isn't paid, the parents get placed in "government housing" with their child. Now in plain English, this government housing is actually a prison camp for stupid people but to keep things from sounding mean, we'll call it "subsidized living for needy families".

In this way, we keep costs down and we control the outcome as much as possible. The children of stupid people get next generation government cheese that secretly sterilizes them so it doesn't happen again. You see. We have to wait for this because we can't just take stupid people and sterilize them before they've proved they can't do the right thing.

Hitler, is that you?

/facepalm

Yeah. Of course. We're in the middle of a thread in which it is being debated as to whether or not it's ethical to reproduce and leave your kids with nothing. Of course the guy who would dare to suggest that's stupid and unethical (sociopathic is more like it) is Hitler.

originally posted by: DanDanDat
a reply to: Edumakated

I haven't witnessed the pitfalls of inheriting to much to early as you describe; but on a similar topic I mentally grapple with the idea of helping my own children pay for their education when it comes time.

There where a lot of valuable lessons I learned paying my own way through college that have had a direct impact on my career and any success I might have. But on the other hand having to pay my way through College there where sacrifices I had to make that might have equally contributed to my success. Not having to work a 40 hour job could have meant I studied and learned more, going to a better college could have helped with networking. Now I didn't have a choice, life dictated how I was going to pay for college. Hopefully my kids, and myself, will have options when it comes time for them to go to school (or not go); .... how do you know when you are giving to much money to kids not ready to have it?

----

Life insurance is a good way to leave money; unfortunately whole life doesn't have the same return on the investment as other more traditional investment tools. I have a policy myself, but often wondered if I should dump it and invest the cash value in something else.

I want to help my kids, but there is some benefit in having them face adversity. However, I also regret sometimes I couldn't pursue other interests because considering the ability to pay was always in the back of my mind. I made educational and professional choices mainly due to lack of resources in many cases.

I see how some upper class families treat generational wealth and it provides a good leg up in a competitive world. Not having to worry about finances is freeing in sense.

I have term policies. Never been a fan of whole life. Regardless, I am amazed at how many people can't scrounge up a few hundred bucks a year to ensure their family is taken care of financially after death. It isn't because of money, but lack of education and priorities.

originally posted by: Edumakated


I have term policies. Never been a fan of whole life. Regardless, I am amazed at how many people can't scrounge up a few hundred bucks a year to ensure their family is taken care of financially after death. It isn't because of money, but lack of education and priorities.

Thats new to me; I thought term policies where for untimely death while you are in your working/healthy years in order to provide for ones family if they lose you and your income.

I thought they became more cost prohibitive as one got older and closer to a normal death age.

They certainly are cheaper at my age than a whole life policy.

originally posted by: DanDanDat
Now to be clear, my parents are the type to give strangers the shirt off their backs,

There is absolutely nothing noble or good about 'giving strangers the shirt off your back'. No dis-respect to your parents intended, but that (blind altruism) is precisely what is wrong with the world.

The best thing you can do is take care of yourselves, and your family. If everyone did that, those who truly were in need would easily be taken care of by charities/charitable organizations.

originally posted by: DanDanDat

originally posted by: Edumakated


I have term policies. Never been a fan of whole life. Regardless, I am amazed at how many people can't scrounge up a few hundred bucks a year to ensure their family is taken care of financially after death. It isn't because of money, but lack of education and priorities.

Thats new to me; I thought term policies where for untimely death while you are in your working/healthy years in order to provide for ones family if they lose you and your income.

I thought they became more cost prohibitive as one got older and closer to a normal death age.

They certainly are cheaper at my age than a whole life policy.

Untimely death is the primary purpose. However, we set it up so that by the time the term is up, our other investments should be more than adequate.

originally posted by: BrianFlanders

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: BrianFlanders
This is why (in the fine tradition of Obamacare) there should be a "birth tax" (we'll call it a tax but it's actually a fine for being stupid and reproducing when you're poor and stupid). Let's just be arbitrary and unrealistic and say raising a kid right can be done for only a million dollars.

So this "tax" is due on the day the child is born and if it isn't paid, the parents get placed in "government housing" with their child. Now in plain English, this government housing is actually a prison camp for stupid people but to keep things from sounding mean, we'll call it "subsidized living for needy families".

In this way, we keep costs down and we control the outcome as much as possible. The children of stupid people get next generation government cheese that secretly sterilizes them so it doesn't happen again. You see. We have to wait for this because we can't just take stupid people and sterilize them before they've proved they can't do the right thing.

Hitler, is that you?

/facepalm

Yeah. Of course. We're in the middle of a thread in which it is being debated as to whether or not it's ethical to reproduce and leave your kids with nothing. Of course the guy who would dare to suggest that's stupid and unethical (sociopathic is more like it) is Hitler.

Actually , I do not believe Hitler would have went that far....
Children should find their own way through life when they become "of age" .
It is called "responsibility" and "self reliance" .

We will try to leave the daughters and grandkids something. I am working on preserving their inheritance. You see, if either of us winds up in the nursing home for any period of time, there will be nothing left for them to inherit. So that is the reason I study food science and pharmacology so much, to find out how to make sure we have something to leave our kids. Both the wife and I feel so much better and clear headed now than we did before, that is because we have changed our diet back to a more natural diet. We do still have some junk food or highly processed foods, but only about twenty percent of our diet is in that group now. I am not on any meds, other than limited vitamins and a multimineral. The wife has two pills she takes, but they are not potent.

My father is very wealthy but he doesn't really like me.
He never gave me a dime I didn't earn in living.
I don't expect anything after he croaks.

Make life harder on everyone around you so they can "earn it" too

That's my motto