posted on Nov, 22 2019 @ 12:33 AM
I know there are a few people who like some of my adventures with a childhood friend named Ward Austerbrun. Granted, he was a crazy dude (creative
genius, but crazy none the less). But, I had a lot of crazy friends as a kid (I love them all). So, this story isn't about Ward, but rather about
another friend I called "Maffra". You see, 'Maffra" was a girl and her name was really "Martha", but my mom was from 'Bah-ston' (Boston) and
she pronounced everything weird. 'Maffra" was the same exact age as me, and our parents were drunken bridge playing friends. So Martha, was
Anyway, Maffra didn't care what you called her, just so long as you called her whenever some freaky S# was going to go down (she was like that).
Now, Maffra had a sister named Mary, and Mary was the responsible one (kinda like Laurie on Halloween). She'd normally be my babysitter when the
parents were gone. Secretly though, Mary was cool, so the minute the parents were gone...me and Maffra were FREE!! And, we'd usually head off into
the woods behind the house to do something nasty. Anyway, I digress. (but at least now, you have a picture of Maffra...and me).
So all of our families used to go up north to go skiing about 25 times per year, but usually on the weekends. Total drunk-fest for the 'rents, which
was awesome for the kids. They didn't care when we came home...if ever. So there were our families and about 10 other families who would all go to
this same ski resort (it was just a dumb ski resort really). At night, all the parents would get together and get stone drunk out of their skulls
playing cards (bridge usually). All the kids (us), about 20 or so depending on the weekend, would go out and raise hell.
The favorite trick was to sneak into the dining hall and steal some serving trays by the kitchen. These were the old Bakelite trays, hard like stone
and lined with cork. After we stole a few, we'd take them back to the condos and hot-wax them with ski wax. Then we'd take them out and use them
as sleds to scoot down the ski slopes after dark. Lots of other kids tried to do the same, but this crew had it down with the waxed serving trays.
The other kids would just use their sleds they got for Christmas or something...and usually wind up hurting themselves, getting tired or whatever and
going home. Again, I digress.
So anyway, this ski place had a couple of features around the lodge. One, they had a heated pool you could swim in during winter, but it was closed
at night. The other thing they had was an ice skating rink, complete with this crappy Austrian music. Well, the ice skating rink was built into the
side of the hill, so the back of it was in the ground, and the front was about 10' feet off the ground by the ice rink side.
Now, for years when we'd slide down this hill, the common message was to miss the snow fence which surrounded the roof of the ice rink...else you'd
fly off the roof onto the ice rink below. For some twisted reason this rule seemed unreasonable.
One day someone crashed through the snow fence and wiped out on top of the ice rink building (on skis). That night, we were out "traying" (as we
called it). By the way, these waxed trays hauled ass!!! You would FLY down the hill on one of these! You had zero control, but you went fast as
hell!! The really steep and fun side of the hill was over by the ice rink side, so you had to be sure to put your feet down to keep from blasting
through the fence and sailing off onto the ice rink.
Just some physics and physiology here...falling from 10 feet onto a solid sheet of ice is not going to end well, no matter who you are!! But, the lip
on the top of the ice rink building was really cool, it looked like a jump. It was a serious drift of snow which must have gone up about five feet on
any given night.
Maffra always was crazy. So, one night she says..."I"m gonna' go for it!
And before we could stop her, she was off. It was a cold night, and the slopes were almost pure ice; she took off like a rocket. Seemed like she was
goin' about 60mph on that tray. "WOOOOOO HOOOOO was all we heard, and we figured that was the LAST we'd ever hear of Maffra...because
she'd certainly break her back or fracture her skull (or both) on the ice below.
We heard her hit the fence (she missed the opening) and saw her catch air off the cornice of snow. LOL...this was crazy!
THEN we heard a giant CRASH, sounded like breaking glass, and screams, then a bunch of commotion.
Maffra had sailed over the top of the edge of the ice rink and caught the umbrella on one of the parents tables by the pool, smashed their drunken
card game and tumbled into the pool. The pool was covered with these foam mats to keep it warm at night, and she'd crashed through those. We were
all certain Maffra was dead, but no...she jumps up and yells "Woooo Hooooo! again, bobbing up and down in the pool.
We practically got kicked out of the joint for that stunt that night, and every one of the drunken parents lectured us about Gawd knows what, but
inside we were all laughing about Maffra's great stunt (and it really was epic).
Before that whole event, our parents thought the whole tray thing was "cute". After that, they were like the cops, turning us in for stealing trays
to go "traying", but we still did it anyway. No one ever jumped the ice rink again, like Maffra did that night, but the legend of that lived on for
quite a while.
Fun story anyway.