What to do with "stuff".

A central part of my 30's has been helping extended and immediate family sort through elderly family members "stuff" after they've passed.

No one is ever thrilled about it, not just because of the grief, but also because no one actually wants the "stuff". Perhaps a memento or two, and the rest gets donated or sold.

I'm a minimalist, so "stuff" isn't really something my kids will ever have to deal with, but my father is a straight up hoarder. He loves his stuff, and I would never really ask him to downsize just so I wouldnt have to clean it up, but I'd never expect my own kids to do that if I was older.

What's your take on the issue? Do your kids want your 'stuff' (probably not). Do you want your parents random things, aside from special mementos?

Elders are always trying to give us dishes. So many dishes. We donate them to college kids. They probably love eating from retro Sears catalogue China. 😂

Set it out by the road if you don't want it.
Somebody will pick it up.

a reply to: Homefree

Or make a funeral pyre and offer it up to the God's of stuff.

I’m sure there are some pieces of furniture and the odd relic or knick knack my kids may want to remember me by.

I need to go through my belongings and give stuff away. It’s a nasty job to leave to family. Them dealing with the bare minimum is enough.

a reply to: PhilbertDezineck

Always down for a party.

a reply to: Atsbhct

I actually love the "stuff". I love running across things long forgotten by all but those who have already passed.

For instance, when my grandmother passed and we were going through her "stuff" we found an old suitcase. Inside of the suitcase were 3 hand pieced quilt tops with a small piece of paper pinned to each with names on them- one for my mother, one for me and one for my sister. They were definitely Granny's hand work and we never knew about them until going through "stuff".

Granny always loved to surprise us. It will always be a special memory finding the surprise she left for us to find when she was gone!

I'm a collector but in limited quantities. One thing I collect are ashtray stands. I come from a a family of multi-generational smokers and love the old ashtray stands. I doubt my kids will want them, along with a lot of other things I have. So when that time comes I'll offer them their pick and whatever is left will be sold and split. You can't take it with you but you can enjoy it while you have it. Just keep in mind your kids may not have the same interests.

So on that note, I have one great-grandpa's pipe, the other great-grandpa's Philco Predicta TV and a couple of sculptures and a painting my dad did. What my kids will want, if anything, is up to them.

a reply to: HalWesten

Do you have any of the old onyx ashtray stands with the plug in electric lighter, or the hula dancer lamps?

a reply to: GeauxHomeYoureDrunk

That definitely goes above and beyond “stuff” status. It sounds very special.

I have some antiques and special pieces from my Grand Mothers and my Parents. I treasure these pieces in time from those I love.

As for my own stuff...I don't have any children, so my Sister, Brothers and their kids and Grandkids can have what they want. My siblings know my best friends and will allow them to take things too. I sometimes go through my things and give them what I feel they would love before donating anything. So yeah, whatever is left when I die, they can enjoy or donate to someplace where someone will love and appreciate these things.

a reply to: Atsbhct

My mother-in-law is a hoarder with a compulsive shopping problem. She goes shopping all the time and just buys random stuff that she thinks is cool. This past summer we went to visit and went through nearly 2 dozen giant storage bins full of STUFF. Random stuff. Most of it was brand new still in its packaging. She had probably 4 giant tubs of just purses.... Most of it was donated to charity. We rented a U-Haul and took some of it back home for our children (her grandchildren) to use in their homes.

The saddest part??? All of that was just stuff from ONE bedroom. We still have the rest of the house to go through.....

a reply to: PhilbertDezineck

No. I have a few with the quartz bottom but nothing lighted. Most of mine have the large amber glass trays. The oldest one is either late 1800s or very early 1900s, it looks like a transition piece between victorian and art nouveau. Most of them are from the 30s-40s and are called "victorian" because of their elaborate bases and tops. The latest one I have is a mid-century style woodent stand.

originally posted by: CIAGypsy
a reply to: Atsbhct

My mother-in-law is a hoarder with a compulsive shopping problem. She goes shopping all the time and just buys random stuff that she thinks is cool. This past summer we went to visit and went through nearly 2 dozen giant storage bins full of STUFF. Random stuff. Most of it was brand new still in its packaging. She had probably 4 giant tubs of just purses.... Most of it was donated to charity. We rented a U-Haul and took some of it back home for our children (her grandchildren) to use in their homes.

The saddest part??? All of that was just stuff from ONE bedroom. We still have the rest of the house to go through.....

That's what my mom's house is like. I dread the day my brother and I have to go through it. We'll just shovel stuff out into a dumpster and call it good, I imagine. The house needs to be torn down, I don't think there is any saving it from the decades of hundreds of cats.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Yard, garage or Estate sale!

a reply to: HalWesten

Okay...you have one on me there. My in-laws do not have any pets.... They had a cat years ago but the first time it peed in the liquor cabinet under the bar....well...no more Mr. Kitty.

There's a lot of stuff coming to me and my sister.

I'm not sure either of us really want it, but at the same time, we're not really willing to give it up too.

It has a ton of history connected to it. It's a sense of connection with generations of family before us. There are pieces of no real world value that came over the prairie, and I'm not lying about that part. That's well over 100 hundred years and generations of history in those pieces.

How do you turn your back on stuff like that?

Timely. I'm in the process of doing that for two reasons.
First if I get to stick around, I'll be leaving the USA for more affordable and comfortable senior accommodations.
And, never having had kids, there's nobody to deal with stuff so we might as well be relieved of it.
But I've got a farm full of greenhouse, tractor, pumps, plumbing, wind & solar power & electrical, ad nauseum

Here's my plan: Craigslist for the big stuff, ebay for the small stuff, auction the farm equipment (unless my AG guys want to buy it direct), Salvage recyclers for the tech gear & yard sale the rest before leaving. Heck, I'll probably sell somebody the house to dismantle and salvage all the building materials. Looks like about 18 months.

ganjoa

As for my mom and dad - both hoarders, I got stuck with cleaning the estates of both.
Mom was a clothes & shoes hoarder who never threw away a piece of paper.
Dad had literally 3500 pounds of paper, engineering manuals, drawings, specs 2 pickups full.
And about $16,000 worth of durable medical equipment and supplies donated to charities with doctors.

Still Dad is represented in 3 plastic crates - mostly of his six handwritten, single-spaced, college-ruled, double-sided novels contained in 3-inch ring binders & another small box of my Grandmom's stuff.

Mom's memories occupy 2 pieces of furniture and a few objects d' art.

No clue what we're going to do with this stuff, but it'll probably be sent to sibling's kids (at their expense) or sold.
Wishing for a scanner that could recognize handwriting and turn it into text files on the novels, they'r like 500 pages apiece.

ganjoa

I'm a minimalist as well, but I'm also a believer in "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I'd love to have a chance to go through anyone's pile of junk the see what I can put to new use or even sell or trade.

I've made lots of new stuff from old stuff. Some of my friends know me as the "mad junkyard technician." I love putting modern technology in the frames of old equipment.

But my passion is old cameras. I never have enough.