She texted her (dead) father and - got a reply

originally posted by: Nyiah
I practically NEVER agree with Sheye.

But 4 years of creepy message-reading on the guy's part before saying anything makes this an unsettling story, not a heartwarming one. Something seems very, very off right there, and not in a good way.

But a chick sending random texts to a phone number that is still in operation, is not weird.

female, ok.. she female.
male, bad... he obv psycho monster.

originally posted by: Nothin

originally posted by: Nyiah
I practically NEVER agree with Sheye.

But 4 years of creepy message-reading on the guy's part before saying anything makes this an unsettling story, not a heartwarming one. Something seems very, very off right there, and not in a good way.

Well that just goes to prove it then !
The possibility of a Non-Creepy Man, is non-existant anymore.

Non-Creepy Man: is extinct !!!!!!

Long live Non-Creepy Man !!!!

Next up on the endangered list: Innocently-Texting-Personal-Info-Into-The-Websphere-Woman.

LONG LIVE NON CREEPY MAN!!!!111



Oh wait, thats not a.... Oo

originally posted by: Nyiah
a reply to: Nothin

Both you and Brian, BS. It has nothing to do with him being a guy, and everything to do with a stranger lurking her very personal texts for years. It would be equally creepy if the other end had been another woman, gender has nothing to do with it. Unsettling behavior does.

This is insane....

he lurked her texts now?

Jaysus....

I guess you're imagining him salivating and getting a boner of every one of the texts, spending every day with his phone in a shrine, or something.

Maybe he was just not considering it an endless tirade of texts...

Especially if they had lost a daughter around the same time, and it elicited some form of emotion in.. oh wait, men don't have emotions.. I forget.

originally posted by: Sheye
a reply to: BrianFlanders

I know dudes can be creeps. I just don't see it here.

Four years ! Four years ! Think about that time frame. I can see a couple months, maybe even a year if he’s really mourning his daughter... but Four ??

I also think it’s a bit of an unhealthy way to mourn your daughter by attaching yourself secretly to someone elses daughter. Something off about that.

Nothing unhinged about sending someone random texts though. That's all good.

a reply to: BrianFlanders

You can't win, Brian...

And it's doing my head in that they don't get it.

est quod est, men are creepy bastards, so say the feminazi...

a reply to: gallop

I can't fault the guy... how many of us would reply after the first text "Sorry, but this isn't your dad." -- she'd have been struck with guilt for having texted a stranger... I think in this way, there is something to be said for serendipity..

I’m going to say it again.. four years ! .. that’s not serendipity.. that’s borderline stalking.

originally posted by: BrianFlanders

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: BrianFlanders

originally posted by: Sheye
a reply to: BrianFlanders

I know dudes can be creeps. I just don't see it here.

Four years ! Four years ! Think about that time frame. I can see a couple months, maybe even a year if he’s really mourning his daughter... but Four ??

That's an interesting observation. So the chick mourning her father by sending texts to no one for four years was totally normal but the dude mourning his daughter receiving the texts the chick was sending was creepy?

Maybe you could explain to me how they're not both creepy?

Nope! Totally nothing to do with sexism!

The difference is she was just venting into her phone through text, believing in some sort of magic that her father may connect to her. It was therapeutic for her to believe he was reading it.

He ,on the other hand, was well aware that he was viewing private conversation from a mourning daughter to her father. He should have let her know earlier that he was reading her texts.

Had it been a boy texting his deceased mom, and a woman was reading along for four years, without making herself known, I’d find it equally as odd.

OK. Got it. Double standard. Your reply is inconsistent nonsense. It is actually bizarre (and probably very unhealthy) to spend 4 years believing you're sending texts to a dead person. But have it your way. You're clearly determined to justify your prejudice so you can have it. I have no real horse in this race. I simply saw the silly witch hunt for what it was and called it. So congrats on derailing what would have been a pretty positive thread.

I agree that it is probably unhealthy to send texts to a dead person... so I take back what I said about it being therapeutic. It would have been better for her to simply have a diary where she wrote to her deceased father.

As far as derailing a pretty positive thread, I’m sorry I’m not a rainbows and lollipops kind of girl who swallows every feel good story in how it’s presented.

I’m such a cad 😜

a reply to: gallop

Holy smokes, I have no idea what this even means.

I hope you weren't offended as that was not my intent. All that was meant
was God is God and your stated preference on everything or anything
should not be considered any more than mine or anyone else's. And that
you even have a choice to believe in an after life or believe a lie or have
the brains to figure out for yourself that the lie is the most retarded thing
you ever heard.

Hope we're not off topic

I'm not sure if this was said yet, but how was it sent to someone other than her father's phone?

Each phone number is unique, she would have had her father's number added onto her phone, no other phone in the world can ever have the same number.

So therefore no-one could ever have received her messages other than her father's phone, unless this man discovered it that is.

a reply to: RoryRahl23

Hi RR23.
In Canada and the USA: abandoned phone-numbers are re-opened up after 90 days.
Has happened to many of us, to call an old contact, only to have someone reply and say that it's their new number, and they don't know the person you were trying to contact.

originally posted by: Nyiah
a reply to: Nothin

Both you and Brian, BS. It has nothing to do with him being a guy, and everything to do with a stranger lurking her very personal texts for years. It would be equally creepy if the other end had been another woman, gender has nothing to do with it. Unsettling behavior does.

Thanks for the invitation to participate in a funny thought-exercise.
These are useful: by 'lifting-up' an idea, rotating it around, and exploring it from different angles, really helps develop our critical-thinking skills.

For clarity: here is a summary of the original story, and the general interpretations and comments on the first page of this thread:

Grieving child, sends text messages to her departed parent's abandoned phone-number, for four years.
But, in a bizarre twist: her departed parent's abandoned phone-number has been reassigned to a person, whom just happens to be a grieving parent, whom has recently lost their child.

This grieving parent, is confused and in a dark-place, and convinces themself, that the message is somehow from God.
Eventually: they figure-out that the messages are from a child, grieving their departed parent.
After 4 years: they finally 'out' themselves, and let the bereaved child know that they have read all of their messages.

Most folks, me included: seem to find this story to be on-the level, and found it beautiful and heartwarming.
Most folks, me included: seem to think that the vast majority of humans are basically good.


OK: In your version of the thought-exercise: you have brought the pendulum to an extreme side of the possibilities of human character. You have characterized the grieving parent as a creep, whom 'lurked' the grieving child's texts.
You characterize the parent as "creepy", and the story as "unsettling", and "very, very off, and not in a good way".
You also submit that the grieving child, is "stupid', for sending-off messages to an unsure destination.


Am pleased to offer-up, for your consideration: another extreme possibility, so that we may see how far the pendulum might swing to the other side.
Since gender doesn't matter, have decided to switch-up the roles, and genders of this thought-exercise possibility.

--- Seems like my offering was too long, to fit-in with this post, so will post it in a subsequent post.

To be continued in next post...

a reply to: Nyiah

--- Continued from above:

Poor old Anne hasn't quite been the same since she lost her beloved son Troy, in a tragic car-wreck.
She reclused into herself, and stopped going-out, and even dropped-out of her church-group.
Her old friends from the church-group became very worried about her, and decided to get her a cell-phone, so that she could contact them at any time she needed. After all: she had been the go-to dependable person, whom helped so many, for so many years.

Fred couldn't believe his luck. Like what were the odds, that that old church dude would come into the pawn-shop where he worked, looking for a low-budget, used cell-phone?
Even though the old fart told Fred that he should shave his big bushy beard, he continued to smile.
He sold them his deceased mom's old phone, with the number still attached.
He couldn't believe it ! He was gonna to have a new mommy !!

About a month later: poor old Anne was sitting there at the table, in her dimly lit tiny appartement.
She was slumped on the table, her head in her hands, the tears streaming down, just as every other evening.
The heavy dose of antidepressants had her in a deep stupor, and feeling like her brain was numb.
On the table: an empty bottle of wine, her newish cell-phone, and a loaded pistol...

Ding! A new text-message has arrived on her cell.
She doesn't move, but groans at the thought of having to, once again, reassure those nosy church folks that she was just fine, and didn't need anything.
She has nothing left to give, Why won't they just leave her alone ?

She knows that if she doesn't respond, they might send someone over. Why !! ?
After agonizing over it for some minutes, she musters the strength to lift her head, and check the message.

The text seems to be from "unknown", and not one of the saved contacts, that they had saved on her phone for her.
The message begins:
"Dear Mom. I miss you so much." ...

Wait ! What the heck ?
Her mind starts reeling. What the heck is this ? What's going on ?
She falls-off of her chair, onto her knees, and starts praying.
She doesn't know much about cell-phones, and what may be possible with this newfangled technology.
Could it really be her beloved son, messaging from heaven ?
Or is it a message from God, to let her know that her son is with him in heaven, and in peace there ?

What to do ? What to think ?
Should she respond to God via the text-message, or in her prayers, as usual ?
She rolls off of her knees, onto her side, on the cold floor.
She continues to pray, and sobs herself into a pool of tears, as she passes-out into a drunken sleep.

Fred sits slouched in his couch, watching the Wrestling channel, wondering if she's gonna reply...
One hand on his phone, the other hand... somewhere else...
He had been so patient to put his plan into motion, and he pretty darn proud of himself.
He kinda missed his mom, but he had mostly gotten over her passing in a couple of weeks.

After not getting a reply for three days, he contacts his good old buddy at the cell-provider.
His buddy is able to confirm to Fred, that the message had been received, and read.
They had attached a tracking script to those SMS messages, for that very purpose.
This is good enough for Fred, he has a new mommy !

He continues to send texts to poor old Anne, every few days. Sometimes going weeks without sending a message.
It's not easy to text with only one hand...

Ding! "Oh mommy, I miss you so much today! My girlfriend has broken-up with me, and I'm feeling so awful. I just wish that you were still here, to hold me in your arms, and tell me that everything is gonna be OK."...

Poor old Anne has started to wonder about these messages. Of course: she has not mentioned them to anyone, for fear that they would send her off to the institution. They had already spoken to her, about not being alone anymore, and putting her up somewhere, with friendly attendants to help her.
Because of her condition: they had given her even more anti-depressants, putting her into a constant deep brain-fog.
Even though she is as poor as a church-mouse, shes pays the extra bills, for these unsolicited text messages.

She has started to wonder if they might be from a real person, whom has lost their mother.
But how ? How in God's good world could that happen ?
It would be much too crazy of a coincidence, even though God does work in mysterious ways.
She hadn't received any kind of signs, when her husband, Good-John, had died from cancer some 8 years ago.
Then again: she didn't have a cell-phone back then. But wait: had God maybe given her other kinds of signs ?
She just couldn't remember. How horrible! She couldn't even remember what had happened in the months following the death of her beloved husband.
How she hated this life, and what she had become, and prayed constantly that God would just end her life, and reunite her with her beloved John and Troy.

As time passes: Fred continues to send his 'satisfying', one-handed messages.
As time passes: Poor old Anne, through distorted lenses of depression, powerful antidepressants, alcohol, and religious fervor, continues to read these strange messages from God.

After about 3 years: Poor old Anne's depression starts to lift, and diminish it's dark veil upon all of life.
Her powerful antidepressant prescription is reduced slightly.
The folks from the church-group have gotten her to start attending AA for her drinking problem, and she has even come-out twice to the church-group's meetings!
She continues to receive the mysterious text messages, and still dares not mention them to anyone.

After another 6 months: she has started knitting again, is attending regular church services, and church-group meetings.
She starts asking folks sort-of random, nowhere questions, about how the whole SMS messaging thingy works.
She asks if God can send text-messages, you know, just for fun.
Her friends begin to wonder if she is receiving unsolicited, and harassing messages, that are also adding a financial burden to her.

After about 4 years: her smile is enough for her doctor to finally reduce the dosage of her anti-depressants, slowly clearing some of the remaining brain-fog.
She is now pretty sure that the mysterious text-messages are not from God, nor her beloved Troy: but some young man whom has lost his mother.
But for the life of her: she can't even imagine how it could be possible for that connexion to have happened, other than it being God's will.

She is now able to reflect on the history of those messages, and sees a young man, apparently dealing with the struggles of life.
The gaping holes within her, are somewhat filled with her developing sentiment, and care for that poor young man.
She kinda even wonders why the fellow is sending messages to his departed mommy, but realizes that young folks don't pray too much, and maybe it was his way of 'praying'
to his departed mommy.

She is finally feeling strong enough, and summons-up the gumption to message him back:
"Dear Sweetheart. I'm not your mommy, but..."



--- Still too long. Conclusion in next post.

a reply to: Nyiah

--- Continued from above:

Well: that's the end of my offering, on your proposed thought-experiment.
Hope you liked it, and maybe had a good laugh at the ridiculous extremity of the example.
The idea is an attempted demonstration, that we don't know hardly any details about the story, and so why assume the worst of one, and the innocence of the other?

So: is the non-gender specific reader of the text-messages, still creepy ?
Should the non-gender specific reader of the unsolicited, unwanted, bill-swelling text-messages, have responded within what: the first 15 minutes ?
Perhaps they should have replied: " Hey! Whoa!! Am not your mommy little boy. But you know what ? OK: this is gonna crack you up. Am actually a grieving mother, whom has recently lost her son ! Isn't that weird ? Just so hilarious, and hope you find it as funny. Anyways: good luck with your grieving thingy, and please send me some money to compensate for your unwanted messages, that will be billed to my account." ?

Right? Because non-gender specific bereaved parents, usually get-over losing a child in a couple of weeks eh?
None would ever live in torment for years, or decades, blaming themselves, depressed, and disgusted with life, right ?
We expect them to be normally functioning, happy citizens, doing the right thing, within a month or two: max, right ?

Unsolicited, unwanted, bill-swelling text-messages. Just another creep, reading something they are paying for, and didn't ask for ?

a reply to: RoryRahl23

Numbers are recycled all the time. I'm in a fight right now with the local dentist office who texts me every time this kid (name will go unmentioned) has to have his teeth cleaned. I've got their old number. It happens - a lot.

A touching story! a reply to: silo13

originally posted by: Nothin
a reply to: Nyiah

So: is the non-gender specific reader of the text-messages, still creepy ?

Yes.

And if you have to write a multi-post novel to try to make a point in vain, you already knew it's a firm yes answer to begin with.

It's all rubbish. Stories like this appear on the net all the time. "Bride reads out grooms texts to girlfriend instead of vows" soon becomes "groom reads out brides texts to boyfriend instead of vows". Soon this will be "young man who lost his mum texted her phone........" you see where this is going yh? Sorry, but I've seen and observed all the false #e the Internet has to offer over the years, and have learned to spot bull# a mile off! Call it a gift if you will? a reply to: silo13

originally posted by: Nyiah

originally posted by: Nothin
a reply to: Nyiah

So: is the non-gender specific reader of the text-messages, still creepy ?

Yes.

And if you have to write a multi-post novel to try to make a point in vain, you already knew it's a firm yes answer to begin with.

No budging eh ?
Always interesting to see how folks interpret, and perceive things differently.
Just part of the beautiful mosaic of our societies.

Didn't 'know' in advance, that it wouldn't bring you any reconsideration.
Don't really know anything, which is one of the reasons for my like of questioning folks whom think that they know things.
It's always a matter of opinion and/or beliefs, not any kind of assured 'truth'.

Perhaps not totally in vain, who knows ?
Maybe someone else will ponder on it, or just enjoy the story.
At the very least: it really was fun to write !

Great story.

Never been religious however sometimes coincidence does give you the feeling something deeper could be at work.

One thing about science i couldn't get my head around is a total solar eclipse. The chances of the moon and sun being at the same apparent size in the sky from our perspective must be absolutely mind blowing when you consider the astronomical distances involved.

My Gran who i was very close to died on 1st October 2003 at around 11am. My son was 2 weeks overdue and was born 1st October 2008 at around 11am. Another coincidence i took as a little sign.

ok - i has 2 issues with this :

one - invoking god . before you credit your imaginary friend for linking the 2 people up - to " help " them grieve - just one question - who killed thier relatives ?

2 - i have no issue with the womans conduct - if sending SMS texts to here fathers cell is what helped here get through life - fine

the bloke OTOH - just WTF - you shut " ghost " communications - from a previous accout down one message one - end of - you dont read them for 4 years - then reply