2019 Year of the Man Flu

I'd have to check my calendar, but I think it's been about a year since I've had to struggle with the West's version of Ebola.

Man flu.

I have left my offices in the irrational hands of Gunthers who tend to wear skinny jeans and they seem to cry a lot.

While I stand alone, to fight the epic battle that will be spoken of in the Halls of Valhalla.

I have the sniffles and a congestion. Maybe a fever. It is described as the 4th Circle of Hell in "Dantes Inferno".

And I have a sore throat. Will this Hell never end???

So pray for me, pray even more for my wife who has to put up with my whiny ass.

And God Bless all those brave men who suffer this horrible affliction.

During flu season, I do what needs to be done.......

I identify as a woman......

The man flu takes one look at my 6 foot muscular frame in that pretty red dress with lipstick smeared onto my beard and just keeps on movin down the road.



Man Flu: "hey, what's up dude...'
Me: "But...I'm a lady.."

Since I started working outdoors, I haven't gotten the accursed man flu once.

I am glad to be free of it's wracksome chains. The inevitable turmoil it would put into my soul every September when I was in an office was nigh indignitable. Attempts to slog through the ever increasing pains should have been worthy of numerous titles of hero, but alas, voicing said opinion is quite unhero like. Quite the quandary when winning the most difficult battles of life and not a note of disillusionment crosses your face or voice. How can there be parades of victory in your honor when not a single other soul knows?!? So in a moment of weakness you let out a wet sniffle and blow your nose into your kerchief, for shame.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I had the flu early this year.
After 8 days my wife drug me to the emergency room....
I was fricken wiped out...

a reply to: Bluntone22

now, being drugged by someone is not laughing matter

a reply to: dubiousatworst

Yeah, she didnt even try to take advantage of me....
Not that I wanted too..

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: DBCowboy

I had the flu early this year.
After 8 days my wife drug me to the emergency room....
I was fricken wiped out...

No wonder you were 'Wiped out' if you were drugged.

I'm afraid now, very afraid. Didn't know 'man flu' was an administered drug.

Crikey!

bally

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: dubiousatworst

Yeah, she didnt even try to take advantage of me....
Not that I wanted too..

Well, jokes on you.

She may not have, but what about the hospital staff....those people are twisted.

I'm sure once you got admitted, got some meds and maybe a pain killer...you were done for.

Don't think it's all on the up and up. When you wake up in the emergency room with 2 doctors, a nurse, the janitor and that weird guy from IT standing there. You may have thought it was them being thorough and getting a second opinion, hell if you got the real good pain killers you may have thought you woke up during a game of clue. But make no mistake my friend, it was no game of clue, they all knew who did what, with what and where.....

originally posted by: DBCowboy
While I stand alone, to fight the epic battle that will be spoken of in the Halls of Valhalla.

I have the sniffles and a congestion. Maybe a fever. It is described as the 4th Circle of Hell in "Dantes Inferno".

And I have a sore throat. Will this Hell never end???

Whether the battle is won and you are the victor, or the battle is lost and you enter Valhalla's gates, rest assured that the Valkyries are waiting with plenty of mead either way

a reply to: DBCowboy

Erm...

WTF is a "man flu?"

Is this the thing where men get the sniffles, think they are dying, bitch and whine and squirt tears because they are "under the weather?"

If there was a just and honest God you'd have a man-period once a month.

Occasionally in life pass a bowling ball from your nether ends.

Until then, wish you luck on your horrendous life-threatening disease.

PS... I'm sending Gunther a fruit basket... I understand how distraught the sammich makers can be in these hard times.

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: DBCowboy

Erm...

WTF is a "man flu?"

Is this the thing where men get the sniffles, think they are dying, bitch and whine and squirt tears because they are "under the weather?"

If there was a just and honest God you'd have a man-period once a month.

Occasionally in life pass a bowling ball.

Until then, wish you luck on your horrendous life-threatening disease.

PS... I'm sending Gunther a fruit basket... I understand how distraught the sammich makers can be in there hard times.

Your dismissal of this very real infliction sounds very.....feminist.

I didn't know you were such a progressive man hater.

a reply to: MisterSpock

I don't hate men at all.

I like poking fun at them though.

"Attila... we need to take this territory... kill a bunch of people and impregnate their women!!!"

"Not today.. my voice is a little raspy and my nose is drippy"

vs...

"Attila... we need to take this territory... kill a bunch of people and impregnate their women!!!"

"Then yank this sword out of my chest, rub some dirt on the wound and let's kick ass!!!"

Men are pussies when it comes to a cough or a cold.

Just sayin.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Stay strong DBC, stay strong.

Start imbibing in your favorite Intoxicant and you will forget about that pesky man flu. Pray to all you believe in that you don't get the woman flu.

Seriously I hope you fell better soon.

The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.

Careful what you wish for, you might end up with a renamed street in a crappy end of town instead.

originally posted by: Nyiah

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.

Careful what you wish for, you might end up with a renamed street in a crappy end of town instead.

Who'd want to live on Dorkface Lane?

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.

a celebration yearly would be so much better.

a reply to: Lumenari

Try as you might...the seething hatred is slipping through.

I can't be the only one that sees that dim light of progressive ideals shining through in your joke about a very real epidemic that faces the modern male...

originally posted by: Onlyyouknow

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.

a celebration yearly would be so much better.

I would settle for a small shrine placed in various locales where people could make offerings and pray for the men inflicted with this disease.