Women (Mothers)- Why The Hell Do You WANT To Work?

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

Let's switch this up:
Is it ego that leads some men to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfillment you do not get from your baby?

I'm no feminazi, but I'll say this the vast majority of parents do what they have to do. I will not judge them. I've been both a stay at home mom and a full time working mom. There were parts of both that were great, and parts of both that sucked. In the end my kids all turned out great.

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

I think sometimes in America, both people have to work in order to sustain the household. Some women might also like the freedom to pursue a career and have a voice outside of the home, too. One has the potential to end up in an abusive relationship if they are dependent on their partner for all financial support, too.

My mom is a lawyer, although she took many, many years off work to be a stay-at-home mom and it benefitted me for the most part.

I know someone who is a very rich doctor, who gives his wife an allowance of $200 per month to spend, and that's it. So abusive situations do exist.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Completely valid sentiments JAG I know you're no Feminazi and quite enjoy your contributions. Regardless of a changing society men are still expected to be breadwinners. Furthermore, we simply can not provide the same kind of nurturing that our babies mothers can and that is a fact.

We are in a predicament where even after near 18 months I can not settle our baby to sleep no matter how hard I try and patience I show. The fact she is breastfed has a large role to play in this.

When children

a reply to: darkbake

Great points there regarding financial dependence turning in to abuse. That is a very real and terrible problem for some women though I doubt the type of despicable men that would perpetrate this would allow their partner to work?

I have to get permission from my wife to spend the money I earn! That's by my own choosing though as she's better at managing the household finances than I am.

Thanks for contributing

ETA: it is much the same situation even here in regional Australia where to enjoy a reasonable quality of life a household requires two incomes. I had to embark on a mission to double my wage in order for us to continue enjoying the same level of comfort and recently achieved it.

originally posted by: IAMALLYETALLIAM
Full disclosure: it’s 6AM here (Australia) I’ve been up over an hour and am tired and grumpy. I also am acutely aware that motherhood is not all smiles and cuddles.

I’m the father of a gorgeous 15 month old girl.

I have taken Monday and Tuesday off work for a rest and some family time- yesterday just me and my daughter one on one.

We cuddled and watched her shows on TV in the morning, went to play group (drawing, sand pits, craft, toys) then came home for lunch and a nap (my wife has to put her down for her nap as she doesn’t settle for me).

When she woke up we went to the shop to get ingredients for a lovely dinner (my little helper the whole way).

At the end of the day I expressed to my wife that if she had the same earning capacity as me I would swap roles in a heart beat! Why in the hell would any body want to trade (in my personal position) the nurturing and upbringing of your own child for; KPI’s, marketing plans, running team meetings, reporting to directors, budgets, prospects, proposals and all the rest of that inconsequential CRAP!?

Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

I fully appreciate not everyday is like I had yesterday and have seen first hand the more arduous side of motherhood but still- beats the hell out of working!

Time for a coffee.....

Congrats! I did a thread a few months ago about if I should be a stay home dad... can't find it right now, but it was a pretty popular thread.

When my son was born, I stayed home two days a week for about six months. It was great. I really miss the time I got to spend with him. I had similar feeling as you. If I could stay home with my kids, I would! My wife is a successful corporate exec. I have a flexible job, so a lot of the kid duties just fell on me since I am essentially my own boss. It is less disruptive for me to take the kids to a Dr.'s appointment, etc.

I think a lot of women were hoodwinked into believing they could have a career and raise a family. They also didn't realize what kind of sacrifices men make to be successful. The long hours, etc.

We have a few friends where wives are very successful and the dad's stay home. I don't think it really matters in the end, just that one parent is available for the kids.

Staying home with the kids isn't easy, but I'd take it any day over dealing with corporate BS.,

a reply to: Edumakated

The job of being the parent that stays home nurturing and raising their infants is the most important job out there. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination but trumps the cold calls, marketing campaigns, budgets, database contracts, recruitment etc. I am currently overseeing.

Unfortunately having a career and raising your family are by and large mutually exclusive.

It absolutely doesn't matter which parent is at home, I directed this towards our sisters as it is much more common for them. If my wife had the same earning potential as me I'd be happy to stay at home.

Thanks for sharing your story!

1 reason choice.
now they have the choice to go back to work, women are not some clone personality, and dont suit staying home.
children dont automatically end up in bad situations because mum worked.
both my parents worked and ive done pretty well. id rather have a happy working mother ,than a stay at home miserable mother.

women now have a choice, not to long ago we did not, so a lot choose or have to work. its still in the collective memory that women did not have a choice and were nothing but property, i know i know theres someone whos already mentioned a conspiracy, but the idea of stay at home mums is a pretty new creation, a Victorian thing, for middle class women, working class women have always worked, and before the industrial revolution the whole family worked, husband, wife and children as soon as they could talk.

im sure sitting watching cartoons all day is relaxing but doing all the house work, looking after children partner all day, is stressful.
to me it would be the worst thing i could do, guess that why im child free.