Women (Mothers)- Why The Hell Do You WANT To Work?

Full disclosure: it’s 6AM here (Australia) I’ve been up over an hour and am tired and grumpy. I also am acutely aware that motherhood is not all smiles and cuddles.

I’m the father of a gorgeous 15 month old girl.

I have taken Monday and Tuesday off work for a rest and some family time- yesterday just me and my daughter one on one.

We cuddled and watched her shows on TV in the morning, went to play group (drawing, sand pits, craft, toys) then came home for lunch and a nap (my wife has to put her down for her nap as she doesn’t settle for me).

When she woke up we went to the shop to get ingredients for a lovely dinner (my little helper the whole way).

At the end of the day I expressed to my wife that if she had the same earning capacity as me I would swap roles in a heart beat! Why in the hell would any body want to trade (in my personal position) the nurturing and upbringing of your own child for; KPI’s, marketing plans, running team meetings, reporting to directors, budgets, prospects, proposals and all the rest of that inconsequential CRAP!?

Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

I fully appreciate not everyday is like I had yesterday and have seen first hand the more arduous side of motherhood but still- beats the hell out of working!

Time for a coffee.....

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

I fear that the femme-hammer of doom shall be falling on you soon. Good luck.

LOL I get it. If I could do it all over again, and not have children with a complete d bag, but with someone that wanted to work, and made good money. I would stay home.

But unfortunately, real life isn't what we want most of the time. So I got a job, raised my kids, dumped the d bag. Now the good hubby and I are empty nesters, so, I would be bored out of my damn mind, like I was last summer.
I work.

Hope the rest of the women here go easy on you.

a reply to: chiefsmom
Thanks chiefs, appreciate the understanding! This is me exploring the counter narrative of gender roles and exposing the fact that perhaps not all men are completely satisfied with the traditional roles.

Too bad we don’t have the same capacity for hypergamy or I could have just found a sugar Mumma and hung out with the kid all day! (Not what my wife did, we’re high school sweet hearts)

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

Hi, glad to hear you got some precious one-on-one time with your little girl. This time goes by so quickly, and every moment you can carve out with your little ones is priceless.

I'm sure the answer to your question will be as varied as the individual. I was lucky enough with the opportunity to stay home with my kids. We really did make tons of sacrifices monetarily but it was well worth it to me.

Now that my youngest is in school, I'm ready to work again, but I've found that re-entering the workforce might prove to be somewhat of a challenge. Even though I've maintained a several part-time jobs from home, there is a glaring hole in my resume which hasn't done me any favors in my job search.

Stay-at-home-mom is just not generally considered a worthy "career" anymore and housing and cost-of-living in most major U.S. cities requires a two salary income, making it very difficult for new mothers who want to stay home to raise their children. It's a real shame.

Being a stay at home mom can also be very stressful, especially if you have more than one child and they are prone to arguing and physically fighting. I remember some of my friends choosing to work at least part time just to get a break from home life.

It’s not all roses OP , yet I wouldn’t change the time I spent at home when my children were younger.

Both of my sisters went back to work within a month of having their kids. I choose to stay home. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but there are days occasionally when I wonder why I don't drink.

Glad you had a good day with your kid.

OP, as far as I'm concerned, once you've had kids, one of you stays home at least until that kid is old enough to have a job themselves. The couple doesn't get a choice, kids cannot raise themselves. And if you cannot or will not, you should never have had them to begin with.

Look, motherhood, and parenthood in general, isn't the hardest job out there, but it's far more important than a career desire is. Someone has to sacrifice to see to it that the offspring don't turn out to be degenerates. And a latchkey kid has much higher odds of that without parental supervision after activities end and they have to go home alone. Never mind the years of only seeing dad AND mom for a rushed dinner and then straight to bed.

How do people think this is a good life? It's not. By far and wide, this is a mean thing to damn a kid to, they need that constant guidance and constant learning of the life ropes, not whenever mommy gets off work, and certainly not from a daycare or the influence of rotten friends you don't know about because you BOTH work and never see them.
A widowed or a divorced parent, I can understand the need to work. But not a married one. She shouldn't need to, and if she does, she had better have thought it through and found a homebody husband to take her place. If you're going to have children, you're going to raise them. You cannot have everything you want once you choose that route. Saying you can is about as delusional as you can get, things and trips and money are only filling the yoid created by being an absent parent. Only one is supposed to be absent, to provide. ONE.

originally posted by: butcherguy
a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

I fear that the femme-hammer of doom shall be falling on you soon. Good luck.

It surely will. It's my belief that hammer comes from those posters' OWN inadequacies & regrets, it's why they shred so harshly. Has nothing to do with gender freedoms, and everything to do with "I know that fact/notion/concept is logically correct, but I'm also right because feminism, I think, therefore the dissident must die now".

a reply to: zosimov

Completely understand the financial side and can assure you it is the same case even in regional Australia that you require two incomes for a decent quality of life.

I had to embark on a mission to double my income (success) at great sacrifice to myself including 3 hour round commutes,weeks away from home and the pressure of returning to the world of B2B tech sales so my wife can stay home and raise our baby.

Thank you for sharing.

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

Most came from oppressed women with no outs, but then molded into your oppressed and ignorant if you choose to be in that position. Nowadays due to the creation of jobs throughout fields to insure jobs for them supply and demand kicked in and reduced wages and eventually the buying power of the dollar, which created a need in most cases both to work.

The power of movements end without momentum, they always push past the "mark".

originally posted by: IAMALLYETALLIAM
Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

How little you know women.

a reply to: Sheye

Oh yeah it can an trust me I’ve seen it and I completely get a part time job for some adult time and maintain the best version of yourself for your kids.

What I don’t get is the women who preference their career (ego) over their kids

originally posted by: paraphi

originally posted by: IAMALLYETALLIAM
Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

How little you know women.

Technically, ego IS the root of all poor choices made.

originally posted by: paraphi

originally posted by: IAMALLYETALLIAM
Is it ego that leads some women to put their baby in day care to pursue a career? Greed? Sense of fulfilment you do not get from your baby?

How little you know women.

I take it you're a scholar on men and know us intricately, most women don't understand women and they'll be the first to admit it.

a reply to: Nyiah

Thanks Nyiah, completely agree with you.

Neither of us can fathom leaving our precious baby with strangers for the day and until recently have existed in near poverty for one of us to be with her.

From my perspective, I want to work at something because I get bored, but I hate housework with a passion normally reserved for the deepest pits of hell.

That being said, right now I work part-time so I can put him on and see him off the bus. Next year, I may start looking to bump up to full because between hubby and myself and out prospective schedules and his age, he'd only have to put himself on the bus two mornings and watch out for himself for about 40 to 45 minutes those same afternoons before one of us arrives home.

Working outside the home lets me do something more mentally stimulating them housework.

a reply to: ketsuko

Thanks Ketsuko, completely appreciate the mental stimulation factor and seems your kid is at the age you are not required to be present all day. I was more referring to the care of infants/pre-school age children.

Thanks for sharing.

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM

What I don’t get is the women who preference their career (ego) over their kids

There is plenty of ego in some of the moms who choose to stay at home. This is evident in how they will easily bash a working mom.
I know plenty of working moms who raised great kids and some of those kids carried on to be teachers, or lawyers like their mothers.
While I agree it is preferable to take care of your own children, there are good families that have done it differently with good help.

a reply to: IAMALLYETALLIAM


Why would ANY human want to work?

a reply to: scraedtosleep

I find it hard to argue with that logic in the modern definition.