Really missing my pops the last few weeks

What I wouldn't give
For one more day.
One last ball game,
to have a catch in our old backyard.

Another stupid story about the 80's,
I'd be all ears.
What I wouldn't give.

One last job,
One last lawn.
The awful country music in the truck.
What I wouldn't give.

One more beer
One last hug.
What I wouldn't give.

I ain't one for this kinda stuff but I've been really missing my dad lately and feel like I need an outlet. If yours is still around, don't make the mistakes I did (I was a total a** to him his last year). cherish them while you can.

originally posted by: seaswine
What I wouldn't give
For one more day.
One last ball game,
to have a catch in our old backyard.

Another stupid story about the 80's,
I'd be all ears.
What I wouldn't give.

One last job,
One last lawn.
The awful country music in the truck.
What I wouldn't give.

One more beer
One last hug.
What I wouldn't give.

I ain't one for this kinda stuff but I've been really missing my dad lately and feel like I need an outlet. If yours is still around, don't make the mistakes I did (I was a total a** to him his last year). cherish them while you can.

I'm a male, in my mid 30's, I still have my dad.

But I do see it coming. I have friends that have lost theirs and I see how it effects them.

I get it...

I do.....I'm not much on this forum, but I see my own writing on the wall and see what you've wrote.

It's life...I'ts hard.....and it's very very hard. I know mine, probably like yours, would take solace in your pain over their lose. It's expected, but don't let it drag you down. Grab that torch, carry it on and you WILL make him proud.

It's the only duty we have.

a reply to: seaswine

I'm so sorry for your loss. The past is just that - nothing that you can do except live your life. Maybe he has forgiven you from somewhere.

originally posted by: ChiefD
a reply to: seaswine

I'm so sorry for your loss. The past is just that - nothing that you can do except live your life. Maybe he has forgiven you from somewhere.

The curse of a child though, thinking they need to be forgiven...

No disrespect to your words, but I'm just saying that a child should never have to seek forgiveness.

No matter what was said, or implied, a parent always sees their children as a "better" of themselves.

It's a hard thing, but take that knowledge he gave you and do better. It's literally the meaning of life. Look upon yourself and think, would he be proud, don't be too hard on yourself.

The answer is almost always yes......

Which means that your life, gives meaning to his....

originally posted by: MisterSpock

originally posted by: seaswine
What I wouldn't give
For one more day.
One last ball game,
to have a catch in our old backyard.

Another stupid story about the 80's,
I'd be all ears.
What I wouldn't give.

One last job,
One last lawn.
The awful country music in the truck.
What I wouldn't give.

One more beer
One last hug.
What I wouldn't give.

I ain't one for this kinda stuff but I've been really missing my dad lately and feel like I need an outlet. If yours is still around, don't make the mistakes I did (I was a total a** to him his last year). cherish them while you can.

It's life...I'ts hard.....and it's very very hard. I know mine, probably like yours, would take solace in your pain over their lose. It's expected, but don't let it drag you down. Grab that torch, carry it on and you WILL make him proud.

It's the only duty we have.

Yeah that's the worst part. My dad came from nothing. First to graduate college in his family. Built a business from the ground up that supported our household.

Im 27 now and only have a year of college under my belt. Don't plan on going back to be honest.... but I want to carry his torch onwards, somehow.

I want my kids (if I have any) to live an even better life than I. This will be one hell of a task because my brothers and I had it pretty darn good.

originally posted by: ChiefD
a reply to: seaswine

I'm so sorry for your loss. The past is just that - nothing that you can do except live your life. Maybe he has forgiven you from somewhere.

Thanks. I'm sure if there is a place after this earth, he has forgiven me.

We should all work on making amends in the here and now, though.

originally posted by: seaswine

originally posted by: MisterSpock

originally posted by: seaswine
What I wouldn't give
For one more day.
One last ball game,
to have a catch in our old backyard.

Another stupid story about the 80's,
I'd be all ears.
What I wouldn't give.

One last job,
One last lawn.
The awful country music in the truck.
What I wouldn't give.

One more beer
One last hug.
What I wouldn't give.

I ain't one for this kinda stuff but I've been really missing my dad lately and feel like I need an outlet. If yours is still around, don't make the mistakes I did (I was a total a** to him his last year). cherish them while you can.

It's life...I'ts hard.....and it's very very hard. I know mine, probably like yours, would take solace in your pain over their lose. It's expected, but don't let it drag you down. Grab that torch, carry it on and you WILL make him proud.

It's the only duty we have.

Yeah that's the worst part. My dad came from nothing. First to graduate college in his family. Built a business from the ground up that supported our household.

Im 27 now and only have a year of college under my belt. Don't plan on going back to be honest.... but I want to carry his torch onwards, somehow.

I want my kids (if I have any) to live an even better life than I. This will be one hell of a task because my brothers and I had it pretty darn good.

Society has brainwashed your generation. Not a political statement.

Just work hard in whatever you find a passion in. Take life as it comes, find a mate, make a family. Don't overthink life. Billions do it every day.

Carve out your own happiness and it will be more than enough to "endure" the family legacy(his legacy).

NOTHING is off limits, it's yours if you want it, just like it was his because he chose to fight for it. Fight for his family...YOU.

Your accomplishments aren't meant for you to enjoy, but for your family. I KNOW that's the motivation for his accomplishments, he did it for your, for his family.

It's not as daunting as it seems, just take it day by day.

originally posted by: MisterSpock

originally posted by: seaswine

originally posted by: MisterSpock

originally posted by: seaswine
What I wouldn't give
For one more day.
One last ball game,
to have a catch in our old backyard.

Another stupid story about the 80's,
I'd be all ears.
What I wouldn't give.

One last job,
One last lawn.
The awful country music in the truck.
What I wouldn't give.

One more beer
One last hug.
What I wouldn't give.

I ain't one for this kinda stuff but I've been really missing my dad lately and feel like I need an outlet. If yours is still around, don't make the mistakes I did (I was a total a** to him his last year). cherish them while you can.

It's life...I'ts hard.....and it's very very hard. I know mine, probably like yours, would take solace in your pain over their lose. It's expected, but don't let it drag you down. Grab that torch, carry it on and you WILL make him proud.

It's the only duty we have.

Yeah that's the worst part. My dad came from nothing. First to graduate college in his family. Built a business from the ground up that supported our household.

Im 27 now and only have a year of college under my belt. Don't plan on going back to be honest.... but I want to carry his torch onwards, somehow.

I want my kids (if I have any) to live an even better life than I. This will be one hell of a task because my brothers and I had it pretty darn good.

Society has brainwashed your generation. Not a political statement.

Just work hard in whatever you find a passion in. Take life as it comes, find a mate, make a family. Don't overthink life. Billions do it every day.

Carve out your own happiness and it will be more than enough to "endure" the family legacy(his legacy).

NOTHING is off limits, it's yours if you want it, just like it was his because he chose to fight for it. Fight for his family...YOU.

Your accomplishments aren't meant for you to enjoy, but for your family. I KNOW that's the motivation for his accomplishments, he did it for your, for his family.

It's not as daunting as it seems, just take it day by day.

You're a wise man, misterspock. Your username suits you well.

I will be reading this again in the morning once my head is a bit more clear from all the vodka. (Yeah I know boozing doesn't help My situation)

a reply to: seaswine

I'm not wise, probably no where near your father.

I'd have a hard time putting the thoughts into words, but the gist of it is that it's not a situation of one upmanship.

Your father could have been a brain surgeon, while you may feel(as his child) to reach beyond his goal. It's only a matter of family.

My father worked hard, had little time for his family, all that a father would want is for you to work hard...but find MORE TIME for your family then he could. It's an odd paradox. It's not the position you hold in economic life, but the value you can give to your family.

It's all about family, it's all about your family.

My father sacrificed time to provide for his family, so that I could be at a point that I'd have the TIME(and not need to sacrifice) for my family.

Sad note, I'm in the same boat. I have no other mate or no offspring. I see the sadness in my fathers(mothers) eyes all the time because of that. Because now I Know that's all they wanted for me.

Just live your life, create a family. No matter what you do, he would be proud.

a reply to: MisterSpock

FYI, to my quoted post.

I'm about 10 years ahead of your path...I regret it every day.

Take heed, DO NOT push your life off til the next day/week/month/year.

Live it, get out there and find someone to trust in, find someone to start a TRUE life with(have offspring). All this vapid consumerism and entertainment(video games, movies, etc) will not bring you the happiness that YOU deserve that YOUR FATHER wanted you to have(It's literally all he wanted for you).

Wow! You are way too young to lose your dad. Im so sorry. My sons are your age. I know they would feel like you do. We are pretty close. Im 62 and I did lose my mom, but Dad is still going at 92. I cherish every day I spend with him, and worry about losing him.
Your dad would be proud to know you love him so much. You are a good kid. He wouldn't want you to hurt though. Its ok to hurt a little. Be well, and enjoy your life, and the special memories you have. Just think about the good things, and try not to allow pain. Take care!

a reply to: seaswine

I lost mine recently as well, I know how horrible it can feel at times.

At least I was able to make peace with him before he passed.

And yes I'd give anything, anything.

I'd give everything.

a reply to: Lysergic

It sucks lost my Dad over 3 years ago and it's hard to put into words, but I've learned so much about him since he passed, some things I never knew his mistakes and flaws his triumphs and successes. And it's all made miss him even more if that's possible. Sometimes I know it sounds stupid when I'm sleeping I'll dream I can hear him talking or catch a quick glimpse of him and I'll almost immediately wake up to talk to him, then I realize and it bums me out.

a reply to: seaswine

Missing my dad too every day. Never take a day for granted

Talk to him. Talk a walk somewhere quiet...but don't forget to listen.

Love transcends death...sorry for your loss. I miss mine terribly every day.

'Comes a time in life when the child grows to become the man...and now...it's your turn!

It never gets easier...but it does get better. God bless......MS

originally posted by: MisterSpock

I get it...

I do.....

Love everything you wrote man, but nah...

And be so very grateful for that.

I thought I "got it" before I lost my dad, but I didnt. Not really.

This isnt meant to be mean or anything.. Just.. Be ready for that, my friend. Its like the difference between training for a fight and the real deal, but much, much moreso.

I dont have any regrets there whatsoever, but things like that feeling when "hey, Ill talk with my dad about that!" is pretty damn rough. For many of us, I think thats a habit we build over many decades, you know?

I had lost literally dozens of loved ones before my dad passed, and I thought that had prepared me. But, its like that specific passing reverberates down the line and gives us new understanding of our own mortality and loss. Even if we thought we already had it down. I would have, and did, say exactly the same thing as you. I kind of wish I hadnt.

I suppose its different for those that have a difficult or "bad" relationship there, but even then.. Its like it transcends all of that anyway.

I wish I could play guitar for him, I started that after.. Ill be seeing him again soon enough.

originally posted by: mysterioustranger
Talk to him. Talk a walk somewhere quiet...but don't forget to listen.

Love transcends death...sorry for your loss. I miss mine terribly every day.

'Comes a time in life when the child grows to become the man...and now...it's your turn!

It never gets easier...but it does get better. God bless......MS

I do this kind of thing nearly daily if I have time.

The last time I "listened" I felt that he hadn't quite passed on and was"excited to see his brother, though." I figured he meant his dad who died the same day he did 45 years ago.

2 days later, my uncle (his bro) went to the ER for extreme pain and subsequently discovered a mass on his colon. Colon cancer is what ultimately got my dad.

My uncle underwent surgery the next day. He is still in recovery but the doctors say they believe they removed all of the tumor.

Spooky stuff dude. I hate it.

a reply to: Serdgiam

Your words ring true. Hence my attempt at poetry above lol.

You can prepare yourself as much as you want. We knew it was coming and I told myself things would be ok. Sitting in his bedroom and watching him all night while I spoke the things I should've said so long ago... but he wasn't there.

Do it while you still have time.

On the guitar part, I wish I could play my drums with my brother on bass and our friend on guitar for him. We weren't really any good, but he was so proud of us when we played and would drag people to the basement exclaiming "aren't they awesome!!".

a reply to: MisterSpock

Well said,
some elder once told me that when he was a young man he taught, he would do better than his father in many ways, now he knows his kids will do better than him in many ways as well.
I think this approach from the fathers side is more beneficial for a harmonic relationship.

I'm sorry for your loss, I feel you.
I told my sister that suffers a lot, that the only thing that remains after any story is told, are our memories.